The Life & Times of Kenma Saotome, S1: The Dojo Dilemma
by Sonic Thunder Saiyan Turtle
Summary: What if Ranma had a brother his age? But one clincher-he'd rather draw than practice martial arts! This story retells the Ranma 1/2 series with a new character, Kenma, with help from fellow Fanfiction writer DaniFuli! (Season 1 finally done, with Season 2 coming sometime this year)
1. Here's Ranma (and Kenma too)

Tale #1:

_**The Strange Stranger from China**_

* * *

**Featured voices:**

**ROBERT O. SMITH** as Genma Saotome

**DAVID KAYE** as Soun Tendo

**WILLOW JOHNSON** as Kasumi Tendo

**ANGELA COSTAIN** as Nabiki Tendo

**MYRIAM SIROIS** as Akane Tendo

**GREG ABBEY** as Ranma Saotome (male)

**VENUS TERZO** as Ranko Saotome (female)

**RICK JONES** as Kenma Saotome

**ALAN MARRIOTT **as Dr. Tofu and Jusenkyo Tour Guide

* * *

Hi there. My name's Kenma Saotome, and if you've got time, I'd like to tell you about the spiral of insanity that is my life.

I live with my father, Genma Saotome-he teaches martial arts-and my fraternal twin brother, Ranma. If there's one thing that separates me from my dad and brother, it's that they're both hugely invested in all that martial arts stuff. I, on the other hand, don't really like it. I've never been the fighter type; I prefer drawing cartoons instead of drawing first blood. I guess Ranma was happy for me, but Dad was beside himself with grief. He whined to the heavens about why only one of his sons was interested in the future of his fighting style, and when he was done with that, he would lecture me that artists were a dime a dozen, whereas passing on the teachings of the Anything Goes Fighting Style was MUCH more important...to him, at least.

So anyways, I didn't have much time to really get into my art, since we were always on the move, and Dad had a knack for making promises to strangers that he never intended to keep, like this guy who had an okonomiyaki cart and a son named Ukyo that bro was best buddies with. Dad, being Dad, took the cart and ran off in the middle of the night, taking us with him and leaving Ukyo in the dust.

But as wild as that sounds, here's where our little escapade kicks into high gear: just last month, we made it to China, and went to this place called "Jusenkyo". While Ranma and Dad spar above the springs, I busy myself by drawing in my notebook. The tour guide begins telling this whole story about the springs...something about each of them having a kind of curse, I dunno; I'm too focused on my art to listen.

All of a sudden, this enormous panda bear lunges out of the water and knocks Ranma into one of the pools. A few seconds later, a smoking-hot redhead with huge knockers (I think at least a G-cup) comes to the surface.

Now, I've never had any friends before, but I figure as long as I'm only staying for awhile, I may as well make an impression on the local hotties. Putting my notebook in my bag, I casually stroll over and help the girl out of the water.

"You alright there?" I ask as the girl looks pretty surprised. "Also, have you seen my brother and my dad? They were here somewhere…"

"Whaddya mean, Kenma?" she replies in a very familiar Brooklyn accent. "I'm right here, in front of ya!"

I snicker. "Good one, random cute girl...but Ranma has black hair, and is a…" I suddenly trail off. "Wait...I never even told you my name! How would you know that?!"

"Ah, your brother fall into _Nyannichuan_; too-too tragic tale of a young girl who drown in spring 1,500 years ago. Now whoever fall in spring take shape of young girl!" the tour guide explains.

The girl turns back towards me. "Believe me now, ya damn Casanova?" she asks with a deadpan expression. "Kami, ya just tried to fucking hit on me just now!"

By now, my face is white with shock. I can only nod in response. I...I just tried to hit on my own BROTHER! Who, granted, makes a helluva cute girl, but STILL! Never before have I felt so..._unclean_…; it's times like this I wish I could go to therapy sessions. Too bad the old man is a cheapskate...I know both Ranma and I could use a few visits.

…

After that..._unfortunate_ incident, the three of us schlepped across China until we made it back to Japan-more specifically, a little town called Nerima. Genma had explained to the both of us why we had returned here. Apparently one of his old friends, Tendo-san, had arranged for us to be engaged to two of his 3 daughters in order to carry on the legacy of his dojo.

Naturally, Ranma wanted no part of that, and neither did I. Don't get me wrong; wooing not ONE, not TWO, but 3 girls sounds great, but I'd prefer to romance them on my OWN terms, not because two old boneheads put together some nutty marriage plot before we were born…and that's how we ended up here, running the rainy streets.

….

(**3rd Person P.O.V.**)

The rain poured down in the streets of Nerima as a red-headed girl raced down the road; in pursuit of her was a panda bear, followed by a ginger-haired boy in a blue, ripped, short sleeved jean jacket & Japanese sweatpants that spelt out "Senpai" on the side in kanji, and beige boots, a hood covering his head and hands in pockets.

"Hey!" the girl snapped as she threw her backpack aside. "You better cut that out!"

The massive ursine lunged for her, but she leapt up and kicked him in the face, toppling him over. Fortunately, the boy behind him managed to get out of the way just in time.

"Geez, watch where you're kicking; he almost flattened me!" the boy exclaimed.

"Well, he DIDN'T!" the girl replied before turning back to the panda, who stood up and smacked her, sending her sliding down a street corner and into a more populated area.

Naturally, everyone who saw the large panda walking down the street towards her began to murmur excitedly. Because, of course, seeing a panda and a teenage girl squaring off isn't something that one would consider a normal experience.

"Your move," the girl remarked as the panda lunged with a swipe of his claws. "Well, I still say the whole thing sucks!"

Every further swipe the bear took was dodged, then the girl grabbed the panda by the arm and judo-flipped him over her shoulder. "PICKING MY FIANCE FOR ME WITHOUT EVEN ASKING…!"

The girl panted in mild exhaustion as she reclaimed her bag. "I'm going back to China now...so suck on _that_, old man," she spat. She then turned to the bored and indifferent boy.

"Kenma, if you're coming, try to keep up."

The boy, Kenma, rolled his eyes as he followed behind his acquaintance. Unfortunately, the panda still had some fight left in him, as he got to his feet, and knocked the girl out with a street sign. He then put her over his shoulder, and took the bag in his other paw. He turned to Kenma and gave a growl at him, as if saying to follow.

Kenma nodded, and did just that. Noticing the people murmuring around him, the panda let off a quick growl to frighten them away, before continuing on the path he was headed in.

Kenma just sighed.

"_What kami did I anger to be in this situation?" _ he thought miserably.

….

_**MEANWHILE…**_

Soun Tendo's eyes sparkled with a childlike joy as he clutched the postcard in his fingers.

"At last, Ranma is coming!" he beamed. "How I've waited for this day…!" As he lowered the postcard, it became clear that his eyes were flooded with tears of joy. "And soon, very soon...he will be here!"

He glanced up to the ceiling, and began calling out to his daughters. "Listen up! Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!"

The first one, Kasumi, age 19, was the oldest of the three, and was in the kitchen, turning off the stove while she finished preparing a dish.

"Kasumi," said Soun as he poked his head inside the kitchen.

"Yes, what is it, Father?" she asked in a dutiful manner.

The second, Nabiki, age 17, was in her room, reading a magazine when Soun came inside.

"Nabiki!" he announced.

"Hm?" the girl replied, lifting her head.

Finally, that left just one. But when Soun checked Akane's room, she wasn't there. "Akane?" he asked. "Where _is _that girl…?"

The girl in question, Akane, age 16, was in the dojo, decked out in a martial arts _gi_. She inhaled through her nostrils, steadying her hand, before letting out a "HAAI-YAH!" and chopping two cinder blocks in half, with a small chunk landing at Nabiki's feet.

Akane wiped her brow, looking a bit more pleasant than she had previously. "Whew...that felt pretty good." Just then, she saw a Polaroid camera flash. "Huh?"

Turns out the Polaroid belonged to Nabiki. "There you go again, Akane," she said in a chastising tone. "This is _exactly _the type of thing that makes the boys think you're so weird."

Akane's brow furrowed. "So why should _I _care, Nabiki?" she asked. "Not _everybody _thinks the whole WORLD revolves around...BOYS!" She angrily turned her head up.

"No?" asked Nabiki, turning on her heels and walking out of the dojo. "Then I guess this wouldn't interest you."

As she left, Akane poked her head out the door and looked on, curious.

And so, a little while later, all three Tendo daughters were gathered in the main room with their father.

"Fiance?" asked Kasumi.

"Yes," replied Soun. "The son of a very good friend of mine. His name is Ranma Saotome. If one of you three girls were to marry him and carry on this training hall, then the two schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts would be joined as one!"

Akane glared. "Hey, wait a minute here! Don't we get to have SOME say in who we're going to marry?" she growled, flames of anger in her eyes.

Nabiki leaned over. "Maybe you should wait until you meet him. You never know, he might be really cute." she told her little sister, who just turned her head away again. "Right, Daddy?"

Soun chuckled warmly. "They'll be here any minute." he said as he stood up. "The boy and his father have been on a training mission. Recently they crossed into China."

"Ooh, China," Nabiki beamed.

Akane couldn't care less. "So they hiked all the way to China; wow, big deal." she remarked dismissively.

"Father, how old is Ranma?" asked Kasumi.

"Is he cute?" asked Nabiki, hopeful.

"Younger men are so..._young_." Kasumi stated. "Not to mention they aren't very interesting…"

"Well, what kind of guy IS he?" asked Akane.

Soun laughed for a few minutes, before he turned to face his daughters. "...I don't know." he replied.

Now Nabiki looked pretty miffed. "You don't know…?" she asked.

"I've never met him," Soun admitted sheepishly.

Nabiki and Kasumi stared at their father, whereas Akane was a different story altogether.

_Oh, kami-sama; I don't believe this..._she thought to herself as she continued to glare.

Suddenly, on the verandah, there were heavy footsteps heard. Along with them were the protests of a female voice, yelling, "Leggo, ya old fool! I told ya, I don't want any part of this! Now put me DOWN!"

"Oh my! Sounds like we have visitors," Kasumi said as she stood up.

"Ooh, it must be Ranma!" Nabiki remarked as she went outside to check.

"Gen-_kun_, my friend!" Soun exclaimed with jollity in his voice as he went to go take a look. "We've been waiting!"

"I hope that Ranma's older than me…" Kasumi said to herself as she and Akane went to go take a look. But to their surprise, Nabiki and Soun came running back down the hallway, and behind them was the massive panda, accompanied by the fiercely-protesting girl and the nonchalant boy.

"So, this is Saotome-_san_?" asked Kasumi. Soun rapidly shook his head.

"Oh? Then I suppose this panda just decided to drop by for a visit?" asked Nabiki, her eyebrows arched up in question.

The boy stepped to the front. "People, people, relax; if we could trouble you for some hot water, I'd be happy to ex…" he began, but he trailed off once he got a good look at Akane.

Time seemed to stand still-the boy had never seen someone so beautiful before in his entire life...her very presence left him speechless, and his mouth gaped in surprise. His cheeks were tinged with a bright pink color.

Akane glanced back at the boy, who looked positively dumbstruck. What was wrong with him?! For all she knew, he was probably sizing her up so he could do something lecherous to her later. Typical, he was no different than all the drooling horndogs at her school! And to think, she'd have to marry him? The very thought made Akane's blood boil with white-hot rage!

"Hey! What're you looking at, you _hentai_?" she asked him. "Cat got your tongue?"

Her only response came in the form of a goofy-looking smile from the boy.

"Well…? ANSWER ME, YOU…YOU _BAKA!_" she shouted as she conjured up a mallet and hammered him, sending him off into space.

The panda looked quite frightened by that, before he placed the girl down in front of him, perhaps intending to use her as a meat shield if Akane rounded on them.

Soun reached a quivering finger toward the second, non-bludgeoned redhead. "You...wouldn't be…"

The redhead turned to the side, looking a bit shy. "...Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." she explained.

Soun's surprise gave way to joy. "At last! You have come!" he exclaimed, grabbing Ranma by the shoulders.

"Oooh...he _is _cute," Nabiki noted, taking in the view.

Kasumi looked a bit concerned. "Then who was the other boy?" Her question fell on deaf ears.

Soun hugged Ranma to his chest. "I'm so glad you're here!" he beamed. Just then, he felt that something was not right with this situation.

He hugged him a couple more times, then stepped back and saw that the alleged 'boy' was sporting a rather..._plentiful _bust.

Nabiki leaned in, and began poking Ranma's chest, much to the detriment of the pigtailed one. She then started feeling it with her hand.

"Um...could you stop that?" Ranma asked, the embarrassment bubbling up inside.

Nabiki then turned back towards her father. "...Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!"

By now, Soun had broken out in a cold sweat; he felt lightheaded, and the room seemed like it was spinning. With a cry of shock, he fainted.

...

After an undetermined amount of time, Soun regained consciousness as he was lying down on top of a futon.

"Oh, poor Father; you must be so disappointed," Kasumi sighed.

"_He_'s disappointed? He's not the only one!" Nabiki replied, poking at Ranma's rack. "I mean, just look at her! Some fiance!"

"Hey, could ya stop that?" Ranma asked quietly.

"Hey, leave her alone, you two," Akane said. "He...er, _she_'s our guest."

"This is all your fault, Daddy," said Nabiki, scolding Soun. "Don't you know the difference between a girl and a boy?"

"B-but, Genma said that he had a son!" Soun retorted, cowering in fear from the look Nabiki was giving him.

Nabiki squeezed Ranma's breast to emphasize her statement. "Does _this _look like a son to you? Hmm?" she asked.

"...I _really _wish you'd stop that…" Ranma told her, glowering quietly.

"You heard her, Nabiki," said Akane in a disappointed tone. "Stop sexually harassing our guest."

Nabiki withdrew her hand as Akane placed one of hers on Ranma's shoulder. "Hey...you wanna join me in the dojo?" she asked with a smile.

Ranma looked at Akane gratefully, thankful that someone had saved her from that embarrassing situation. Was this the start of a beautiful friendship? "Sure, I'd love ta have a match with ya."

"I'm Akane," the girl told her. "...you wanna be friends?"

Ranma gave a small, curt nod in response.

…

Soon, both girls were in the Tendo Dojo.

"You studied _kenpo_, right?" asked Akane.

"A little…" replied Ranma.

"Well, then let's have a little match, okay?" Akane told her. "C'mon...just for fun."

Both girls stepped to opposite sides of the dojo floor, and Akane took an offensive stance. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you," she said to Ranma.

She lunged at Ranma, throwing a punch that she dodged; then a kick, which was sidestepped. Then another punch, punch, and another kick-all of which were easily dodged.

"What's wrong? Attack me!" Akane grunted, before throwing another punch, following it up with 2 extra punches.

_Why...why am I missing her? _Akane asked herself, exhausted. _Is she reading my moves?_

"Okay, this time for real!" she declared, before letting out a yell and punching a hole in the wall; fortunately, Ranma dodged that as well-she backflipped over Akane's head, and lightly tapped her on the back of her head.

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle, and soon, Akane joined in on the laughter.

"You're pretty good," she beamed as she strolled around the room. "I'm just glad that you're a girl."

Ranma looked a bit confused.

"I'm just really glad you're not a boy!" Akane explained as she walked out of the dojo, leaving Ranma alone with her thoughts.

…

Meanwhile, Kenma crash-landed in an alleyway after being hammered into space. The alleyway was a little dingy and covered with all kinds of litter. Thanks to the trash, however, Kenma had a soft landing.

Kenma groaned in pain and managed to stay in a semi-conscious state.

_W-what happened?_ Kenma thought, rubbing his head as he tried to stop his head from throbbing in pain. _I remember being malleted into space...but who was it? It was one of those girls, right?_

Kenma attempted to get up, but when he got to his feet, he lost his balance and fell backwards.

"FUCK!" he screamed as pain shot through his body. "Damn, that hurts like hell!"

Just then, a man in black robes came outside. He looked down at Kenma, who was suffering from extreme pain.

"Ah, I thought I heard screaming out here," he said. The man walked to Kenma's side and pulled him to his feet, keeping an arm around his waist so that Kenma wouldn't fall. "I'm Dr. Tofu, the local chiropractor for Nerima. What is your name?"

"Ke-kenma… S-Saotome… " Kenma managed to say, grabbing his groin as he felt the pain spreading in the area.

"Kenma, huh? Well, at the moment, you're not polished." Dr. Tofu chuckled to himself at his bad joke.

Kenma looked at him incredulously. "What do you mean I'm not polished? I'm the cool kid next door! Everyone loves me! Especially the girls."

Dr. Tofu kept on chuckling. "Your wounds say otherwise." As soon as Dr. Tofu put Kenma on the examination table, he sobered up immediately. "How did this happen to you?"

Kenma rubbed his neck as Dr. Tofu began treating his injuries, trying to recall what exactly happened.

"Well, my head's kind of fuzzy after what happened," Kenma admitted. "But I remember that my bastard father brought me and my sister, er, brother to his old friend, Tendo-san, whom he made an agreement with promising o that one of his sons will marry one of Tendo-san's daughters and join the two schools of martial arts. At first, me and my brother were furious, but when I saw those three beautiful goddesses, l immediately changed my mind. However, it seems to appear that one of the three gir-, no, women are not very fond of men. At least, that's what I think. Anyways, that woman pulled out a mallet from somewhere and hit me, sending me into the stratosphere. However, I truly deserved that as I was ogling at her body shamelessly. All I can hope for is that she'll be willing to forgive me."

"Hmm… " Dr. Tofu said when Kenma finished his tale. "Sounds like Akane… "

"Akane Tendo?" nodded. "Ah, what a fine and lovely name for such a fair princess. I have been smitten by this feisty woman. I shall not stop until I have captured her heart!"

shook his head in disbelief. "You already fell for Akane? And from the way you talk, it sounds like you're a casanova."

When he received no response from Kenma, Dr. Tofu turned to the examination board and saw… nothing. Kenma was gone. All that was left of him was a trail of blood that led to the front gates.

"Oh, no!" Dr. Tofu exclaimed. "Kenma left without telling me! But how'd he do that… "

He slapped himself. "No, now is not the time to think about such a thing. One of my patients is severely injured and if he tries to keep on going, he'll surely get killed, one way or another. I need to head over to the Tendos right now!"

...

In the main room, the door to the Tendo house swung open, and Kenma staggered inside, now sporting a massive black eye, and his clothes were a bit more torn. He was also bleeding a bit in a few places, and was breathing profusely.

"...finally...back…" he wheezed, clutching his knees as he caught his breath. Once he'd finished, he saw Genma and Soun sitting at a table, glancing at one another; it was clear that both men had been crying for quite some time.

"So that's it…" said Soun. Genma gave a firm nod in response.

Soun gazed out towards the sunset. "The path of a true martial artist is fraught with perils..." he remarked.

Kenma cleared his throat to get their attention, and they both turned to face him.

"Anybody gonna clue me in on what happened, or do I gotta guess for myself?" he asked.

"Saotome-san...who exactly IS this?" asked Soun.

"Nobody important, old friend!" Genma laughed sheepishly.

"I don't hafta be insulted like this, you know," Kenma remarked, glaring daggers at both of them. "Least of all, by my own father."

Soun turned to Genma. "So you _do _have a son!" he exclaimed.

For once, Genma Saotome was at a loss for words. There wasn't much way he could lie himself out of this little muddle.

Fortunately for him, Kenma suddenly collapsed on the ground; apparently he'd lost a good amount of blood on his way back from the doctor's office.

….

"Ranma, you can use this room," Kasumi told the pigtailed redhead, showing her to a nice-looking little room. "Would you like to freshen up and have a bath now?"

"Uh...no thanks," Ranma replied after some hesitation.

"Here; you've been exercising, haven't you?" Kasumi asked as she gave the girl a bright yellow towel.

Ranma looked down a bit nervously. "...yes…" she replied.

Shortly, Kasumi was in the kitchen when Nabiki came inside.

"Hey, Kasumi; who was that strange man and boy in the living room?" she asked.

Kasumi closed the fridge door. "Who knows?" she replied. "Go tell Akane she can take her bath now."

"OK…" Nabiki replied as she ducked out of the room. On her way back through, she got a good look at Dr. Tofu, treating Kenma's injuries.

"Amazing how you made it all the way here before collapsing," he noted to the somewhat-conscious Kenma. "While I find that most impressive, I'd advise you not to do anything like that again, for the sake of your own health."

Due to the sedatives he'd been given to muffle the pain, Kenma couldn't exactly speak too well; the best he could give were some grunts. He murmured something about Akane, but he was too incoherent to make any sense.

Just then, Kasumi came out of the kitchen, rice cooker in hand as she was preparing the table for dinner.

"Oh, my!" Kasumi gasped. "What happened here?"

Dr. Tofu's glasses instantly fogged up. "Oh, why Kasumi! What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?" Unintentionally, Dr. Tofu started to wrap Kenma's leg with too many elastic bandages. The pressure on his leg woke up Kenma as he started to feel pain. Even the sedatives couldn't keep him from screaming out in agony.

Kasumi let out a small giggle. "Oh, Dr. Tofu, you silly man. I live here, remember?" She glanced at Kenma, who was now trying to escape Tofu's hands. "Who is this? And what happened to this young man?"

"Oh, this person? He's nobody," Dr. Tofu replied with a goofy smile.

"Too right," agreed Genma. If Kenma were able to lift his arms, he would've flipped off the old bastard.

"Saotome! How could you! He's your son, whether you like him or not!" Soun cleared his throat. "Kasumi, dear, this is Kenma Saotome, one of the two sons Genma has. The other is, well, that red-haired girl we saw earlier."

Kasumi let out a surprised gasp. "How so?"

Genma and Soun exchanged a look, but before they could say anything, an ear-piercing scream rang out.

…

As these events were unfolding, Ranma was in the furo after his match with Akane. He tried to avoid going to the bath, but Kasumi insisted, and, well, who can say no to Kasumi?

"_What to do, what to do," _Ranma thought as he sank into the warmth of the furo. "_This damn curse, I just hate it! It makes me so… girly!"_

Ranma let out a deep sigh. "_Oh well, it's not like I can do anything about it. As far as I know, there's no cure. Now the real question is, should I go out in my real form or my cursed form?"_ After a moment of internal debate, he made a decision. "_You know what, screw it. They'll find out sooner or later so I might as well go out like I am."_

Meanwhile, Akane was getting ready to enter the furo. Nabiki told her to take a bath before dinner and she had gone to the furo to do so.

She noticed that Ranma's clothes were in the hamper.

"_Ah, Ranma's in the bath,"_ Akane thought with a smile. "_Maybe I can get her to tell how she dodged all my attacks without fighting me before… "_

Just as Ranma was getting out of the bath in his normal form, Akane opened the sliding door. Time stood still as Ranma and Akane looked at each other. Ranma was starting to panic as he saw Akane. "_Goddamit, now she's gonna kill me! Like what she did to Kenma! I'm gonna fucking die!"_ Despite his panic, Ranma managed to keep himself from freaking out.

Akane, on the other hand, was having trouble containing her anger. "_There's… a… fucking HENTAI in my bath! Where's my mallet?"_ However, to the benefit of Akane, she managed to leave the furo with a straight face, grabbing her _gi_ and stepped outside. Then she started screaming.

Ranma felt an odd sense of relief as he climbed out of the furo. That is, he felt relief until Akane started screaming.

….

Everyone turned and looked as they saw Akane running downstairs, screaming her head off. Genma and Soun quickly removed anything they put on the table as Akane hoisted it over her head, her fear replaced by rage and hatred.

"I'll weigh 'im down; I'll DROWN that baka in the bathtub!" she growled to herself.

"Akane, what's the matter?" asked Kasumi, as she and Dr. Tofu looked over. "And what are you doing with that?"

"There's a hentai in the bathroom!" Akane exclaimed.

"Well, gee, Akane, why didn't you just clobber him?" asked Nabiki in a rather know-it-all sort of way.

"Because I got _scared_!" Akane retorted.

"Oh, I do hope Ranma's alright; I thought she was in there taking a bath right now." Kasumi said with a look of concern.

"...'scuse me." said a low, masculine voice, which got everyone's attention.

"Who's that?" asked Kasumi. Standing before everyone was a black-haired boy with a pigtail; he had blue-grey eyes and wore a red sleeveless Chinese shirt, as well as a pair of black pants. He looked a bit embarrassed, judging from the look on his face.

"Who are _you_?" asked Nabiki.

"...I'm Ranma Saotome," the boy explained. "Sorry 'bout this. And the guy wrapped in bandages is my brother, Kenma."

The Tendo sisters were befuddled by this sudden turn of events...even Akane, who began to buckle underneath the weight of the table she was holding over her head.

….

A little bit later, Kenma was able to form coherent sentences again, and he was feeling a bit better.

"I can explain everything," Soun told his daughters. "This is my dear old friend…"

"Genma Saotome." the heavyset man with glasses introduced himself. "And this is my son…" he felt a sharp pinch in the arm. "OW! ...I mean, _sons_."

"Ranma," said the black-haired boy.

"Kenma." added the ginger-haired boy; as he looked around the room, he could plainly see that the girl called 'Akane' was undoubtedly glaring daggers at Ranma; for what reason, he didn't know. As far as he knew, Ranma hadn't done anything wrong.

"This gets more interesting by the minute," Nabiki observed.

"Are you really her, the girl we saw earlier?" questioned Kasumi.

"I am…" replied Ranma.

"It's such a long story, I don't know where to begin," Genma uttered as he got to his feet. "So let's just start from here."

And he grabbed Ranma by the shirt and pitched him straight into the koi pond. A few seconds later, Ranma resurfaced, but as the same red-headed girl from earlier that day.

"What'dja do THAT for?!" she bellowed angrily.

"Oh, my." muttered Nabiki, stealing a line from Kasumi.

"Jusenkyo, I assume?" asked Dr. Tofu, who had some knowledge of the cursed springs.

"Ranma's a...girl now." observed Kasumi.

Genma gazed down at the transformed person before him. "I am so ashamed...I cannot bear to see my son like this…" he spoke in an over-dramatic manner. "Ranma Saotome, you break your father's heart! It's bad enough _one _of my sons wants nothing to do with martial arts, but now my other son is cursed to turn into a girl! Oh, the humiliation of it all...!"

But before he could put on some more crocodile tears, he found himself getting shoved into the pond by Ranma...or, Ranko, in this case.

A second later, the large panda emerged from the water, much to the surprise of the others.

"Who are _you _to talk?!" asked Ranko. "My old man's a panda!" she reared back and angrily punched Genma in his gut.

"Daddy? You certainly have some odd friends," stated Kasumi.

"They weren't always like this," said Soun. "Not before they went to China...and took that terrifying training exercise!"

After a quick steam in the furo, Genma and Ranma were back to their normal selves.

"Ah, yes; it was 2 fateful weeks ago…" Genma sighed as he began to explain.

_**ONE EXPLANATION LATER…**_

By the time Genma was done, the Tendo house was eerily silent.

"The legendary ground of accursed springs…" Soun muttered. "Its true horror has always been shrouded in mystery, but now…"

"Whaddya mean, true horror?" Ranma fumed as he grabbed his father by the shirt. "Yo, old man; what's the big idea takin' us to that place anyway?"

With a judo shout, Genma threw Ranma back into the koi pond.

"Listen to yourself, you sound like a woman!" he spat. "Were you not prepared to give your life for the sake of training?!"

Ranko climbed out of the water, now holding a bucketful. "My _life_, yes…" she said, before dumping the water on Genma. "MY MANHOOD IS ANOTHER STORY!"

The panda took a defensive stance and growled.

"Ya just _had _ta find that training ground, even though ya don't speak a _word _of Chinese!" Ranko snapped as she and Genma began to grapple.

Soun wiped some tears from his eyes. "How I suffer for you…" he said as he held up a full teakettle. "Here."

He then emptied some of the scalding hot water on Genma's head, though he was oblivious to the pain his friend was in. "When doused with hot water, you return to human form…" Soun noted.

The human-once-more Genma panted in exhaustion. "...it needn't be _that _hot…" he remarked.

Soun leaned over to Ranko. "When doused with cold water, you become a girl…" he muttered as he almost dumped the scalding-hot water on the girl. "But hot water turns you back into a boy!"

"_Hot_ water, not _scalding_!" Ranko snapped, before Soun patted her on the shoulder.

"Well now, your problem isn't so bad," he chuckled. "My oldest daughter, Kasumi-she's 19; my middle daughter, Nabiki-she's 17; and my youngest daughter, Akane-she's 16. Pick any one you like, and she'll be your new fiance."

Kenma glanced between the three of them. "I feel like a kid in a candy store...which one should I choose? Oh, drat...I never _was _too good when it came to making difficult choices like this…" he pondered, scratching his head. The three girls were very beautiful in their own ways. Kasumi was a bit on mature side, a side that turned Kenma on, while Nabiki had a body that he could die for. Plus, her icy attitude fit nicely with his fiery persona. And then there was Akane. The tomboy. She was everything Kenma could hope for. Someone who was feisty, self-dependant, which Kenma liked seeing in women. Plus, she wasn't bad looking; he liked modest girls that showed a little of their assets.

Akane started feeling anger and disgust consume her as Kenma ogled the three of them. "You, you… HENTAI! BAKA!"

She brandished a mallet and attempted to hit Kenma when Genma beat her to it.

"Boy, shut your mouth," Genma said as he punched Kenma,knocking him out. "This deal was made between me and Tendo-san. I get to decide who marries one of these three girls. And that person definitely isn't you."

Kenma rubbed his head. "What do you mean? I'm your son, aren't I? So why can't I get a fiance?"

"Because, boy, you're not a martial artist. If you were more like your brother over here, then maybe you could have had one of these fine, young ladies. But no, you decide to abandon the art of martial artists for… For drawing pictures! And stupid pictures, to boot!"

"What do _you _know, you fat lump?!" Kenma retorted. "Like _you _could ever hope to understand my creative genius!"

"How could you say that to your son, Saotome?" Soun asked, manifesting his iconic demon head.

"I agree with Tendo-san. Your son has just received multiple serious injuries and you decide to hit him. And to add insult to injury, you literally insult him while he's injured!" exclaimed a stern Dr. Tofu. He quickly diverted his attention to Kenma. "Are you ok? Do you feel any pain. Well, regardless if you feel pain, I want you to stay the night at my place so that I can treat you properly."

"Pops! Give 'im a break! He just got sent into orbit cuz of that tomboy over there! Plus, he's a great artist! If he becomes really famous, I won't be surprised if he decides not to give ya some of the money he makes."

Kenma nodded. "I think I _won't _give him any-not even a single yen!" he agreed.

Genma started to cower in fear as Akane rose to her feet, furious. "What did you just call me?"

Ranma turned to Akane and inwardly cringed at her facial expression. However, at that very moment, the Saotome Stick Foot in Mouth ability kicked in. "Are ya deaf? Here,I'll say it again. Y'er a tomboy! Uncute, unsexy, built like a brick, stiff as a stick! Even my cursed form is better built!"

A rage filled Akane glared at an oblivious, who was laughing to himself, as the others were bracing for impact. Akane grabbed the dining table with one hand and clobbered the unaware Ranma.

Genma shook his head at Ranma. "Now THAT he deserved."

Akane shifted her glare upon Genma, who began cowering in fear once again. "You're even worse! Like Dr. Tofu said, not only did you injure Kenma once again, you also insulted him! I oughta to send you into space!"

Genma splashed himself with some nearby cold water. Once in his cursed form, he pulled out a sign that read "I'm just a cute lil' panda!" while he played with a beach ball.

Kenma sniffled a little bit. "Nobody's ever stood up for me like that before…" he said. "I dunno what to say...other than thank you, but still…"

He dropped to his knees before Akane. "Truly...you are a goddess on Earth!" he exclaimed. "I'm not worthy to be in the same room as you!"

Akane didn't know how to react. No boy has ever told her things like this. Well… Kuno did, but he was a delusional idiot… but Kenma… she could tell that he was somehow different. She just didn't know how he was different. This confusion caused her to react the only way she knew: violently.

Akane slapped Kenma across the face, causing him to once again go into an unconscious state. He murmured something about Akane while in such a state.

"Akane-_hime_…" he murmured. "...words cannot describe how much I love you…"

Ranma had gotten to his feet and recovered from his injury. "..if that's how she reacts to compliments, then she's never gonna get a boyfriend, let alone a fiance…" he grunted.

Kasumi let out a gasp. "Oh my! Our dinner is going to get cold!"

Everyone who was conscious had looks of shock as Kasumi rushed into the kitchen to get the rest of the meal.

* * *

**NOTE TO READERS: **Ukyo will still be a girl; Kenma only thought she was a boy because of how she was dressed, not to mention little boys have high-pitched voices, so it was easy for him to make that mistake at his age.

**2ND NOTE:**_ This fanfiction will cover some of the arcs from the anime and manga, as well as some of the O.V.A.s & films...not to mention some of the final arcs._


	2. Enter Kuno, the Boneheaded Samurai

Tale #2:

**_OBNOXIOUS!_**

**_The Boneheaded, Wannabe Ronin, Tatewaki Kuno_**

**Featured voices:**

**ROBERT O. SMITH** as Genma Saotome

**DAVID KAYE** as Soun Tendo

**WILLOW JOHNSON** as Kasumi Tendo

**ANGELA COSTAIN** as Nabiki Tendo

**MYRIAM SIROIS** as Akane Tendo

**GREG ABBEY **as Ranma Saotome (male; credited as **FRANK FRANKSON**)

**VENUS TERZO** as Ranko Saotome (female)

**RICK JONES** as Kenma Saotome

**IAN J. CORLETT **as Dr. Tofu, Teacher

**TED COLE **as Tatewaki Kuno

**special guest: ROBERT ITO **as Mr. Gomibako

* * *

**zx (GUEST):** _So far your statements have only been about the characters, not the actual story. Well, let me clear some things up._

_-Ranko/Ryoga will NOT ever be a thing in this story._

_-What happens between Ranma, Akane and Kenma will be up to myself and my co-writer._

* * *

The next morning, Kenma was in the midst of having a pleasant dream. A very pleasant dream where Akane was the main attraction.

"Oh… Akane-_hime_~!" Kenma groaned, a suspicious bulge under his blanket. "That feels so good…please don't stop…!"

Suddenly, he was rudely awakened by someone.

"Hey, wake up Kenma!" a voice exclaimed, shaking Kenma from his slumber… and pleasant dreams.

Kenma slowly sat up on the bed he was on, groaning from the pain he was feeling while glaring daggers in the direction of the voice. It turned out that the voice belonged to Dr. Tofu, who had a cheerful smile on his face as he pulled open the curtains to let the sunshine in.

"Ah, what a beautiful morning," stated Dr. Tofu. "Good morning Ken-kun. Is it alright if I call you that?"

"Did'ja hafta wake me up like that? And I was in the middle of a really great dream, too!" growled Kenma, ignoring Dr. Tofu's question and continuing to send daggers his way.

Dr. Tofu let out a long laugh. "Of course I had to. Your dreams were apparently _so _interesting that I could hear moaning. It was starting to get obnoxious, especially since I could CLEARLY hear Akane's name with the moans. And I was not in the mood to hear about your fantasies, especially not this early in the day."

Kenma started blushing at the fact that he was caught, or rather, heard doing something… suggestive in his sleep. "Good point, question withdrawn." This just caused Dr. Tofu to laugh even more. He went over to Kenma to check on his injuries.

"Does your body hurt anywhere?" he asked.

Kenma shook his head. "No, not really. Well, when you woke me up, you kind of hurt my shoulders. But that's about it."

"Hmm… " Dr. Tofu said, getting up from the chair he was sitting. "Well, just to be safe, I will be giving you a few painkillers. Take them whenever you feel excruciating pain. Also, come by my office whenever you start feeling pain."

Kenma nodded at what Dr. Tofu was saying when he realized something.

"Say, Doc, what am I doing in your office anyways?"

"Well, you sustained multiple injuries from Akane yesterday that caused you to fall into a state of delusion. The injuries were so severe that I wanted to keep you overnight for observation. But of course, with you being in the wrong mindset, you attempted to trek back to the Tendo residence, and somehow, you succeeded. Then all hell broke loose. Need I say more?"

Kenma shook his head. "No, I think I understand perfectly on what happened."

Just then, the two males heard shouting from downstairs.

"Hey, Dr. Tofu!" called out a voice that sounded like Akane. "Are you awake?"

"Yes, Akane, I'm awake," Dr. Tofu responded, making his way to the door and downstairs to properly greet Akane. Kenma was envious of Dr. Tofu because he wanted to greet Akane and maybe get to know her better.

"How are you, Akane?" Dr. Tofu asked, once he made his way downstairs. He noticed a familiar looking red-haired girl. "And… Ranma? What happened?"

Akane let out an exasperated sigh. "To answer your first question, I'm fine Doc. Not sure about this _baka_, who insulted me and got exactly what he deserved."

"What are ya talkin' about?" snapped Ranko.

"Oh, you know exactly was I'm talking about," Akane retorted, the anger starting to rise in her voice.

"Why, you-" Ranma growled, an expression of absolute murderous rage gracing his face.

"Ok, you two," Dr. Tofu said, running an intervention between the two teenagers. "Calm down. Get along. This is not the time to fight." He let out a tired sigh as the two teens continued arguing.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think that the two of you are married."

That statement shut up both Ranma and Akane, which Dr. Tofu was grateful for. However, they continued glaring at each other.

"Now then," Dr. Tofu said, rubbing his hands together. "Now that you two have stopped bickering like married couples, can you tell the story that brought the two of you to my humble office?"

"Gladly," responded Akane, still glaring at Ranma, as she began retelling their tale.

* * *

**_A LITTLE WHILE AGO..._**

"School?" Ranma asked. "Whaddya mean, I gotta go 'ta school?"

"Well, we _are _going to be staying here awhile." Genma explained. "And it'd do you some good to expand your mind; a martial artist's mind must be sharp as their body."

"Whaddabout what _I _think?!" asked Ranma. "Don't I get ta have some say in this? Who died an' made _you _boss?"

And he angrily kicked Genma into the koi pond. Shortly after, Nabiki joined him on the porch.

"Hi there~" she grinned. "You'll be going to the same school as Akane and me. Later~!" And she left as quickly as she came.

"Hey, wait up!" Akane called out. "I'm coming with you!"

"What do you mean? Take Ranma to school with you," Nabiki called back. "Besides, he _is _your fiance! Well, see you there!"

"Aw, that's not fair!" Akane exclaimed as she came out onto the veranda, only to bump into Ranma.

"W-well, what are you waiting for?" she asked him after some hesitance. "Hurry up and get ready, or I'll leave you behind."

Ranma watched her go. "Oh, yeah?" he called. "Well, maybe I'm not ready!"

Just then, Genma popped out of the water, and threw a school bag at him.

"Ranma?" asked Kasumi, coming outside with a folded uniform. "I'd like for you to take this to Kenma. After all, he's starting school as well."

"Hm? Sure, sure, I'll make sure he gets it," Ranma replied as he took his things and set off.

...

While Akane walked on the sidewalk, Ranma preferred to just walk atop the fence adjacent to her.

"We're not gonna get married, you know," Akane told him. "So when we get to school, as far as I'm concerned, the two of us are strangers."

"Sounds easy enough," Ranma replied dismissively. "Besides, I can't stand macho chicks like you, anyway. But for some reason, Kenma likes ya. Personally, I think you bashin' his brains in musta left the poor guy with permanent damage; you'd be lucky if he's still able to feed himself!"

Ranma's comments only irked Akane. However, before she could throw her bag at Ranma, Genma (back in human form) raced up and smacked his son in the back of the head.

"Hey! What's the big idea, old man?!" he snapped, rubbing his head from the pain he felt.

"How _dare _you talk to your fiancee like that!" Genma bellowed. "You're in no position to be choosy about women! Listen, Ranma, let me tell you something…"

But before he could finish, Ranma sweep-kicked him right off the fence and into the drainage ditch...which was full of rainwater.

Ranma peeked over. "What's the matter, old man? Cat got your tongue?" he laughed as he hopped down to the sidewalk.

Then, out of nowhere, an old lady started ladling water onto the street and, unfortunately, Ranma got splashed, triggering his curse.

Ranko let out an exasperated scream. "What kami did I anger?"

She turned around and started walking in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" asked Akane.

"I'm gonna head home an' take a bath," Ranko replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Well, you're going to be late," Akane countered.

"So? It's not like I wanna go to school," Ranko responded in an irritated tone.

"Wait, you only need hot water to reverse your curse, right?"

Ranko nodded in confirmation.

"Alright, then. I know exactly where to go. But we're gonna have to hurry. C'mon!" Akane exclaimed, grabbing Ranko's hand and running towards the general direction of Dr. Tofu's office.

…

Meanwhile, panda form Genma was stuck in the ditch, holding a sign that read "Someone help me! I'm stuck!"

What a freakin' lard ass.

…

At the time, Akane and Ranko arrived at Dr. Tofu's clinic in order to get some hot water to change Ranko back into Ranma.

"Now just stay by the door and wait," Akane told her transformed fiancee. "I'll go find some hot water."

And she went off, leaving Ranko all by her lonesome.

"Hoo boy...what a way for things to start off…" she muttered as she glanced around the doctor's office. "Now I'm gonna be late…"

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

"...and that's how we ended up here." Akane finished.

Dr. Tofu nodded. "I see...well, I'll gladly get you some hot water," he told Ranko and Akane. "Also, one of your friends is still here."

"Kenma, right?" asked Ranko, pulling the uniform from her bag. "...well, this is for him. We hafta get it to him since we're headin' to school today."

"How about this? Why don't you two go up stairs and visit Kenma and give him his uniform while I get Ranma some hot water. Sounds like a plan?"

Both girls nodded, causing Dr. Tofu to head towards the kitchen in his office while Ranko and Akane walked up the stairs towards the room Kenma was in.

Upon hearing footsteps coming up the stairs, Kenma decided to pretend that he was still asleep and waited as Ranko and Akane came inside.

Gulit began consuming Akane as her eyes inspected the wounds all over Kenma's body... wounds that existed because of her.

"This is all my fault," Akane said quietly, the guilt evident in her voice.

Ranko rolled her eyes, completely missing the guilt Akane was feeling.

"Of course this is your fault! Ya hit him because of the way he was looking at ya and your sisters! Sure, it may have looked perverted as he mentally undressed the three of you, but that just shows he admires ya." Ranko stops for a moment to catch her breath. "And then he compliments ya. How do you react? You mallet him into the ground, and probably give 'im permanent brain damage. Who'd want ta be y'er husband?"

Akane's guilt transformed into anger upon hearing Ranko's words.

"What did you just say?" Akane growled, a dangerous red aura consuming her.

Just as Ranko was about to say something, a voice interrupted her.

"Drop it, Ranma," said Kenma, who was sitting up on the bed he was on. "Akane already admitted her mistake. Why did you go and say all those things?"

Ranko and Akane looked at Kenma. "Hey, Kenma," Ranko said, "How long have ya been awake?"

Kenma considered his options. He could lie and get away with it or not. But at the same time, he realized, there was no point in lying.

"I've been awake for some time now. I heard you two coming up the stairs and decided to pretend to be asleep, that's all." Kenma turned to face a guilty Akane who couldn't look at him. "And Akane, what happened yesterday was fine. In fact, I kind of deserved it. I shouldn't have ogled the three of you like that. I apologize for that. But in my defense, I _am_ a hot-blooded teenage boy who likes women. Can you really blame me? Plus, I'm sure there are many boys at your school who like to look at your body. I mean, you're very sexually attractive; on a 1 to 10 scale, you're an 80!"

Akane started blushing furiously as Ranko rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's real classy of you, Kenma. Hitting on a girl 'cuz they look attractive. Do you even know her? Cuz, after last night, I do. She's clumsy and un-cute. She calls herself a martial artist, but she ain't even on my level! She said she wanted to be friends with me, but when she found out I was actually a guy, she just threw that back in my face! Not to mention, she lost her cool when she walked in on me butt-naked in the laundry room an' beat me into the ground, even though she was naked too!"

Kenma gasped. "...YOU SAW AKANE NAKED?!" he exclaimed. "Aw man...some guys get _all _the luck…"

Surprisingly, instead of beating Kenma into the ground, Akane decided to beat Ranko into the ground instead, just as Dr. Tofu returned with a kettle full of warm water.

"...anyways, Kasumi wanted us to give you this," Akane replied as she gave Kenma the school uniform.

"Thanks!" Kenma beamed. "I'll get dressed once we get to school."

"So, Akane; any new injuries?" asked Dr. Tofu.

Akane looked down with a blush. "No, sir...I mean, I haven't been doing anything that would…"

* * *

"Interesting…" said Ranko as she later emptied the kettle on herself, becoming Ranma once again.

"That Doc Tofu guy's a martial-arts master, ain't he?" he asked.

"How do you figure?" Akane asked.

_The way he came into the room without me noticing...he erased all sense of his presence..._Ranma thought to himself.

"He is quite skilled," Akane nodded. "Even though he doesn't look like it. Since I was only a little girl, he's taken care of my injuries."

Ranma ran a little bit ahead of Akane. "So...ain't he a man?" he asked the long-haired girl.

"Yes, what's your point?" asked the girl.

"Well, I thought you said you hated men!" Ranma replied.

Akane paused for a moment as she digested what Ranma said.

"I said I hated _boys_!" Akane retorted. "Especially the ones at _my _school: immature, selfish know-it-alls who think that I'm just a prize to be won!"

"That is just awful," Kenma told Akane. "Those…those Neanderthals should be treating you with the respect you so rightfully deserve, if not more!"

"Well...at least SOMEONE understands my plight…" Akane muttered to herself as she saw the clock at the top of the school building ticking towards 8:30 AM.

In the distance, Akane could clearly see a throng of young men around her age, heading towards her, dressed in various sports outfits; rugby, sumo-wrestling, kendo, hockey, baseball, soccer…you name it.

"Damn...these guys must really be into sports…" Kenma observed.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "No shit, Sherlock. Ya think a wimp's gonna fight Akane? They'd get wrecked!" he remarked.

Fortunately for Ranma, Akane decided to ignore him as she turned her attention towards… the savages who made the poor decision to fight Akane.

"Akane Tendo, I love you! Please go out with me!" they exclaimed.

"Go to Hell! I'm late for class!" Akane screamed in anger and exasperation. She began landing blow after blow on each of the poor souls who decided to fight Akane for her affection.

Ranma looked down at Akane from where he was crouching on the gate. "_Well, I have to admit that this Akane girl has some skills. But that's all I'll admit."_

Kenma, on the other hand, could only gaze in amazement; truly, Akane's speed and power were a wondrous sight to behold. No wonder these guys liked her! Strong women _were _quite attractive…

Ranma shook his head in disgust as he noticed Kenma's lust filled eyes. "Kenma… don't tell me... you're in love with that… that… bitch!"

Kenma looked at Ranma in shock. "How could you say that?!" he exclaimed.

"I mean, she totally overreacted when she saw me in the furo and then decided to hit me. And then when you complimented her, she knocked you out!"

Kenma shook his head at his dense brother. "Ranma, how would you react if there was just some random guy in the bath? And you were a girl at the time?"

Ranma considered Kenma's words as Akane was fighting her way through the hentai horde.

"Plus," Kenma said, shrugging his shoulders. "She's had many bad experiences with boys. It makes sense why she reacted like she did. And my compliments must have been weird for her because probably none of these boys have said anything like that to her; instead, they just kept on trying to attack her like they are now. The least you can do is get to know her before making unfair statements like you did a moment ago."

Ranma looked on as he watched Akane barrel through the throng of hormonally-charged teenage boys who kept on rushing at her in a futile attempt to stop her. On one hand, he did feel kind of bad for insulting Akane...but on the other hand, he felt like she hadn't meant a single word of what she'd told his female-self about being friends...it felt like she despised him just for existing. And, to be frank, it made him awfully mad. And, at the same time, a little bit sad. Ranma has never had many friends growing up. It was only him, Kenma and his Pop since day one. So when Akane went back on her offer of friendship, it put him in a very sour mood.

_So LET Kenma drool over her_, one side of his mind seemed to say. _It's HIS funeral!_

_But that wouldn't be right_, said another part of his mind. _After all, you like Akane a little._

Both parts of his mind seemed to bicker as Kenma watched Akane barrel through the group, a bit of drool coming from his mouth.

"Ranma! Kenma!" yelled Nabiki, getting the brothers' attention. "Quit gawking or you'll both be late!"

The Saotome brothers glanced up to the window.

"Sure, but what about…?" Ranma started.

"Don't worry about Akane!" Nabiki replied. "She does this _every _weekday morning!"

"That would explain why she seems so used to this…" Kenma nodded, as Akane knocked out the last of the "Hentai Horde", as she had taken to referring to them as a collective unit.

The long-haired girl wiped her brow. "Honestly...every single morning…" she grumbled. "I'm getting sick of this…"

She then turned her head and caught something out of the air. Upon closer inspection, it was shown to be...a rose. An annoyed expression akin to something out of a Peanuts comic strip crossed Akane's face; if the Hentai Horde was bad news, then whoever threw the rose was even _worse _news.

Black clouds began to fill the sky as thunder rumbled.

"The toll of the bell at the temple of Gion...shows us the transience of it all…" said a voice. "And the color of the blossoms on the trees demonstrates that all which prospers, must some day decline."

From behind a tree stepped a young man, dressed in blue robes, and holding a wooden _bokken_.

"Truly a boorish lot; evidently, each of them thought to date you," he spoke. "On the dawn of the day they finally defeat you, that is. They should learn their limitations."

"Look, Kuno; I haven't got time for this…" Akane rolled her eyes as she attempted to sidestep the boy, but he put his _bokken _in front of her, blocking her path.

"Although she be but little, she is fierce!" the young man chortled to himself as he put his wooden blade forward. "Wouldst thou spar with me?"

Ranma burst out laughing. He had never heard anything this stupid in his life before. Unless you count all the things Kenma has said to pick up girls…

Kenma walked up to Akane, glancing at her. "You alright, Akane? Need any help with this bozo?" he asked, glaring towards the person Akane referred to as 'Kuno'.

"I'll be fine, just move it," Akane told him. While she didn't like Kenma being near her, she felt pretty guilty about last night. "Otherwise you'll get hurt."

Kuno turned and pointed his bokken at Kenma. "You there! Aren't you being awfully familiar with Akane?" he asked.

"Well, sure; after all, isn't that how fiancees are?" asked Kenma.

"Enough, insolent whelp!" Kuno exclaimed. "I demand to know who you are, and how you know Akane!"

"OK…my name is…." Kenma started, before the boy interrupted him.

"It is customary to give one's own name first, is it not?" the boy replied. "Then I shall introduce myself: the new rising star of the high-school Kendo world...my strength is immeasurable! I am the captain of the Furinkan High School Kendo Club! My voice alone silences crying children, I am a second year in Class E! My peers call me...the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High! Tatewaki Kuno...age 17."

Just then, a flash of lighting came from the heavens, followed by a low rumble of thunder.

"Blue Thunder, he says," Kenma mumbled. "More like the Blue Blunder. I've seen _tokusatsu _shows that were less corny..."

Ranma, being Ranma, was doubled over on the ground from all the laughing he was doing. "Oh my god… this guy… he's too funny! I mean, what's with all that fancy-pants talk? What's he, Shakespeare? What a dork! Isn't this something theater kids are supposed to do?"

"Blue Thunder?" asked Nabiki. "Last I heard, he called himself the Shooting Star…"

"He was calling himself the White Lighting," interjected one of Nabiki's classmates.

"I'm pretty sure he called himself Tachi the Womanizer..." said another student.

"SILENCE!" bellowed a flushed-face Kuno.

By now, Ranma had finished laughing his ass off. "Well...we happen to be guests at her house!" he managed to say.

"A _guest_?!" Kuno exclaimed, rage filling his body. "You two are staying under the same roof as Akane?! I will not accept this!"

With a yell, he charged, swinging his _bokken_; luckily, Ranma managed to pull Kenma out of the way.

"I'm Ranma Saotome, of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts! Also known as the School of Indiscriminate Grappling!" he exclaimed, tossing his bag to Akane, who caught it. "And that's my brother, Kenma."

"And just who the hell made _you _the boss of deciding whether or not we can't stay at the Tendo residence, you samurai wannabe?!" Kenma yelled at Kuno. "More of a ronin reject, if you ask me."

"Long story short…" said Ranma, landing on the pavement and taking a stance. "...I accept your challenge!"

" 'The vengeance of Heaven is slow, but sure'..." Kuno muttered. "So, you scoundrels have been hounding Akane? I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall punish you both!"

"He's delusional, isn't he?" Kenma asked, pointing at Kuno as he discreetly began wrapping his arm around Akane.

"And you're awfully comfortable around me, aren't you?" Akane asked, glaring at Kenma, rage in her eyes.

Kenma let out a nervous laugh. "Welp, I'm busted. I accept any punishment you wish to dish out on me."

Akane let out a sigh. "Kenma, I'm not about to lash out on you after last night. Just think as if we're on equal terms now."

Kenma beamed with glee.

"Stop being so comfortable with the sweet, innocent Akane Tendo, you vile creature!" Kuno growled, taking his attention off of Ranma as he began to charge Kenma.

Kenma, not being a fighter, reacted the only way he knew: running for his life.

"Save me from this delusional bastard!" the ginger-headed boy shrieked as he began running around the area in front of the school, much to the amusement of all who were watching. "Anyone!"

"Halt, you vile monster! For your corruption of the angelic Akane Tendo, you must pay!" bellowed Kuno.

This went on for a moment or two. Ranma felt bad about the situation, but at the same time, it was awfully funny. A deluded womanizer chasing an artistic playboy? That's not something you see everyday.

"Kenma's not much of a fighter, is he?" asked Akane bluntly.

Ranma nodded his head.

"Then what are you doing here, just standing around like a passerby?" growled Akane, her body tensing up in anger. "Go help you poor, weak brother!"

Unfortunately, Kenma heard this last bit. "You wound me, Akane-_hime_!" he exclaimed, covering his face with his left hand, determined not to show his tears.

Akane winced inwardly upon hearing the hurt in Kenma's voice, but opted to ignore it as her full attention was on Ranma.

"Now, foul creature...PERISH!" Kuno shouted, bringing down his _bokken _on a wall near Kenma, who had ducked down and covered his head with his hands.

"The hell are you still doing?!" exclaimed Akane, picking Ranma up. "Go and help your brother, _baka!_"

Akane flung a surprised Ranma five meters through the air in the direction of Kuno, who was busy pulling out his bokken from the wall. Ranma quickly got into a fighting stance as he prepared to kick as an oblivious Kuno.

Kenma pulled his head up, and could only gawk in horror at the large gap made in the wall from Kuno's _bokken_.

_Holy shit! If he did that to a wall...just imagine what he could've done to ME!_ He thought, terrified. _Ranma would've been minus one brother...and Akane? She'd be stuck with that Kuno idiot!_

At that point, it began to drizzle lightly; Kuno turned around to face Ranma, but he never got the chance...since the pigtailed boy had kicked him into the wall.

"Take that, you Blue Blunder, or whatever you're called!" sneered Ranma, quickly getting into a fighting stance, preparing to perform a _kata_.

Kuno glared as he got to his feet. "Why, you slippery little…!"

"Now, hold on a minute!" Ranma shouted as he began charging at Kuno, dodging every swing of the would-be swordsman's _bokken_. "You...were the one...who...attacked...my...brother...to begin with…!"

Kenma pulled himself to his feet. _Bro...what are you doing? Risking your life...for me! I dunno if I should feel grateful you're helping me...or ashamed of myself for running like a coward; Akane-_hime _deserves somebody who can defend themselves, as well as her! Even if I don't like martial arts...my brother shouldn't be fighting alone!_

"Listen up!" Ranma yelled, backing Kuno towards a wall. "You got the wrong idea about me an' Akane! She don't mean squat to me, see? If anything...Kenma cares more about her than I do; I'm just lending him a hand!"

Kenma wiped some tears from his eyes. _He...he's ruining any chance he has with Akane...for MY sake! Hang on, brother, I'm coming!_

Ranma dodged another swing of the _bokken_. "If you want a girl who'd sooner kill ya than kiss ya, you can _have _her!" he told Kuno. "But then you'd hafta deal with someone who likes her more than you!"

"One who harbors a love for the fierce tigress Akane greater than my own? Impossible!" Kuno declared. "Who is this fool?"

"RIGHT HERE!" Kenma shouted, and with a roar, he head-butted Kuno right into the wall, smashing it to rubble. "And next time...Akane says...leave her alone...you'd damn-well better listen…!" he called out.

The students all gasped in surprise; not one, but _two _students had beaten Kuno that morning. Truly, it was the stuff of miracles.

By then, the rain had begun coming down harder, triggering Ranko's transformation.

"_Shit," _Ranko thought. "_Now everybody's gonna find out 'bout my curse."_

Out of nowhere, a very drenched, pissed-off panda appeared and grabbed Ranko and dragged her into the sports equipment shed on the school grounds.

All the spectators did not see Ranma's transformation; all they could talk about was the strange panda that appeared after Ranma's victory.

Kenma and Akane quickly followed Ranko and Genma, mainly because they didn't want to get wet.

Upon entering the shed, the two teenagers saw Genma pouring a tea kettle full of warm water over Ranma, reversing his curse. He looked up to see his brother and Akane gawking at him as he went from being a girl to being a boy.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Oh, c'mon! You two have seen me transform a dozen times already! Stop acting like I'm some freak of nature or something!"

"Sorry," Kenma said, averting his gaze from Ranma, remembering what he tried to do to Ranma when he first got cursed. He shuddered at the memory.

"It's just that it's… pretty weird having you change genders from time to time. That's not something that happens everyday. I guess that's the real reason we were staring at you," Akane said, looking down at the floor and blushing in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

Ranma stared at a sincere Akane, shocked at what had just happened. "_What the hell just happened? She's singing a completely different tune from last night!"_ Ranma thought in wonder. "_Although I like this Akane a lot better. And her blush makes her look cute… "_

Ranma shook his head. "_Nope, I can't have these thoughts right now! Besides, Kenma already loves Akane! I can't interfere with that!"_

"It's fine, you two. Really. I would probably be shell-shocked if I witnessed someone change genders with a blink of an eye," Ranma said, trying to ignore Akane. He turned to his brother, who was wincing in pain from the headbutt he pulled off on Kuno.

"Are ya okay, Kenma?" Ranma asked, worried for his brother. If he were a martial artist, Ranma wouldn't even care if Kenma got hurt. But Kenma wasn't a martial artist. And he was Ranma's brother. Nothing would ever come and damage his caring for Kenma.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kenma responded, groaning in pain. "I shouldn't have head-butted him, that bastard."

"You know, you didn't hafta do that for me," Ranma said to his brother, who was now rubbing his sore head. "I had Kuno handled."

"I wish you'd told me _before _I slammed into his chest," Kenma groaned. "It's like that guy had a gut full of solid marble...! Still...I couldn't just leave you in the lurch to clean up after a wuss like me. Not to mention, Akane-_hime _would never want to be associated with some weakling like me…!"

He got up and took the uniform. "I'll see you guys later...if you even feel like being associated with a weak coward…" he said as he left, a dark cloud of self-doubt hanging over his head.

Ranma and Akane both watched him go, feeling bad for the boy. Genma, however, was the only one who didn't share this sentiment, especially since he was now back in human form.

"Ah...that feels great!" he sighed, having poured the water on himself. He then noticed Kenma slinking off. "What's with _him_?"

Ranma and Akane just sighed.

* * *

Kenma continued on his way to first period, as he continued to wallow in the mire of his own self-doubt.

He trudged past a diminutive person dressed in brown clothes, soaking his mop in the yellow bucket before mopping the floor.

"I witnessed what happened earlier, young one," the small man said. "Care to sit a spell and tell an old soul what's getting you down?"

"Sure, why not?" Kenma replied as he sat on a bucket nearby. "That Kuno guy humiliated me...and all because I was too weak and cowardly to actually help Akane-_hime _and my brother."

"I was once in your position," explained the janitor, taking off his hat to reveal white hair tied into a topknot; on his face was a long, white mustache and beard to match. "I also had someone who I once loved...but like you, I was unable to help her. I have no desire to see another youngster endure such agony."

"Akane-_hime _is strong...but I'm not," Kenma groused, visible tears coming to his eyes. "...so why would she ever want anything to do with me except to pity and belittle me?!"

The old janitor shook his head. "I advise that you cease your crying; I have something for you, and I don't need your tears getting it wet." he told him. "Put out your hands, and close your eyes."

"Alright…" Kenma replied, doing just that. "But I don't see how that will help…"

"You may open your eyes now, child."

Kenma opened his eyes, seeing that he was now holding an odd-looking whip; what made it so odd-looking was that at the end of it, there were three marble-shaped objects attached.

"Say...what's this?" he asked.

"It's called a bolo-whip," explained the janitor. "And I'd be more than willing to show you how to wield it during your lunch break."

Kenma glanced down at the weapon he now clutched, remembering how useless he felt. His expression of sorrow soon became one of solid determination.

"Consider it done, Mister," replied Kenma.

"You may call me Mr. Gomibako," the janitor told him. "Now you'd best get going; I have floors to mop, and you have class."

"Ah! That's right!" Kenma exclaimed, getting up and making a run for it. "See you later, Mr. Gomibako!"

…

The minutes seemed to crawl by, as Kenma drew something in his notebook while the teacher was talking about something-or-other; well, whatever it was, Kenma clearly wasn't listening.

"Just a few more touches...and DONE!" he muttered, admiring his work of art. It was a drawing of himself and Akane, as a prince and princess, respectively.

Not only would he be an artist, he would be strong enough to defend those who needed it...and then, maybe Akane would love him for reasons that weren't related to feelings of guilt.

"_I vow that one day I'll be able to defend myself!"_ Kenma thought, inspired by the humiliation he felt from fighting Kuno. "_Then maybe Akane won't look at me like I'm a wimp or be nice to me because she's guilty. I swear, I'm gonna make her fall in love with me if it's the last thing I do!"_

Just then, the teacher threw an eraser at Kenma's head.

"Hey, you, boy," said the teacher in an irritated tone, walking up to Kenma's desk. "Stop daydreaming." The teacher saw Kenma's drawing. "Have you been drawing in my class? Instead of taking notes like you were supposed to?"

Kenma nodded his head, embarrassed from all the attention he was getting and cursing himself for his tactlessness.

The teacher pointed towards the door. "Go stand outside the classroom with buckets of water. That's your punishment."

Kenma grudgingly nodded his head. "Yes, _sensei_."

"And only come back in when I tell you to come."

Kenma once again nodded his head as he grabbed a bucket of water that was conveniently placed next to the door. "_Damn, the sensei must have buckets of water ready for every student who gets in trouble." _He let out an inaudible sigh. "_At least I won't be alone; Ranma and Akane are in trouble for being late. What I don't understand is why I wasn't in trouble…. Oh well, it doesn't matter now."_

As Kenma went to open the door, he heard Akane explain why the _hentai horde_ chases her to Ranma. And Kenma did not like hearing her explanation one bit.

* * *

**NEXT TIME: _Ryoga appears!_**

**Also...HEY, READERS!**

**Have any questions related to the story? Well, leave them after your review in the comments, and I'll do my best to answer them by the next chapter!**

* * *

Also, a note from my co-writer, **DaniFuli**:

**_TO ALL READERS: Realize that this is the first 2 chapters of a MULTI-chapter story. Just because the characters have qualities that make them seem hostile or irrational, it will change throughout the story. If all the characters were static, it would be a boring story. Don't assume all of the actions of the characters; they could be quite different from what you think._**

**_But we promise you that the characters WILL change. Some way or another, they will change. Please have some faith in us._**

**_And what if Ranma does fall for Akane? It will lead to some dramatic action throughout the story(if that is our wish)._**

**_If you want to criticize something, then criticize our writing, our story, not the characters. What good is a story if the characters are the main focus and not the actual plot?_**

**_Of course, we'll take all of your comments and reviews into consideration when writing the next chapters. We promise. In exchange, will you promise to review our story as a... story? Like the writing? The plot? Style? Diction? Can you do that? Because that is what is gonna help us, not how a character should be like._**

**_Other than that, we would like to say thank you. It means a lot to us for all of you to take time out of your days to read our little, imperfect story. Seriously, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you._**

**_Well, that's enough of that. We'll see you next time! Cheers!_**


	3. An Old Friend Returns

**Q and A answers**

**XIIIroxasKOD:**

_**-**__Kenma was only at Dr. Tofu's to recover. For the rest of the time, he'll be staying with the Tendos._

_-The room was only from when the Tendos thought he was a girl. But as if Ranma's gonna turn down getting a spare room! He and Kenma will share, because Genma snores like my father (speaking from experience)._

_-Ranma came up with "Ranko" a while after he got cursed at Jusenkyo (during the Shampoo incident), but so far, nobody within the actual story has called Ranma by that name. And no, he won't be paired with Ryoga, he's still mad at him. Besides, Ukyo still exists._

_-Kenma was on the training trip because Genma promised to toughen up both boys as infants. Ol' Kenny-boy didn't have much choice._

_-Even as a girl, Ranma considers himself a guy, through and through. That is, unless he can get a free meal out of passing himself off as a girl, then he's down for that. Otherwise, he doesn't consider himself trans, and neither do I._

**AsheTDust:** _To answer your question, Kenma likes Akane, so I'll most likely pair Ranma with Ukyo. Besides, Ryoga is still mad at him, remember?_

**Ranko (Guest):** _The reason I use Ranko as Ranma's female name is to differentiate between girl-Ranma and guy-Ranma. And no, she won't be paired with Ryoga. Ukyo still exists._

**zx (guest):** _The bolo-whip is not a power booster. It's a weapon for Kenma to use. Ranma prefers hand-to-hand combat, while Kenma would rather utilize tricks to battle._

* * *

**Some stuff about Kenma:**

-Kenma is, essentially, a player. He likes to hit on all the girls and his art skills combined with his good looks help to win him many female admirers. Of course, he has no self-control, much like how Ranma always sticks his foot in his mouth, and that lack of self-control causes him to have many problems, especially with Akane.

-Unlike his brother, Kenma has no quarrel with Ryoga.

-Kenma's design is inspired by the 2011 version of Lion-O _(from_ **ThunderCats**): similar haircut, blue jacket & pants, beige boots.

* * *

Tale #3:

**_A Surprise Reunion; An Old Friend Returns_**

**Featured Voices:**

**WILLOW JOHNSON** as Kasumi Tendo

**ANGELA COSTAIN** as Nabiki Tendo

**MYRIAM SIROIS** as Akane Tendo

**FRANK FRANKSON** as Ranma Saotome (male)

**VENUS TERZO** as Ranko Saotome (female)

**RICK JONES** as Kenma Saotome

**ROBERT ITO** as Mr. Gomibako

**MICHAEL DONOVAN** as Ryoga Hibiki (male)

**LISA ANN BELEY** as Ryoga Hibiki (female)

**SAM VINCENT** as Rakkasei (Kenma's new pal)

* * *

It was a bright, sunny morning, and a lanky young man with black hair was coming up the street to the Tendo Dojo. His name was Rakkasei, and he was ready to walk to school with his good buddy, Kenma. (_DaniFuli note: Rakkasei is modeled after Itsuki/Iggy from **Initial D**_.)

Suddenly, he heard something that jolted him out of his reverie. "RANMA, GET BACK HERE!" shouted a female voice.

"NO WAY!" another female voice, with a masculine edge, shouted back.

Rakkasei glanced towards the Tendo Dojo; one could only wonder what the hell was going on in there...so naturally, there would be only one way to find out.

* * *

Ranko was clad in only a pair of boxers and a towel as she ran from Nabiki, who was holding a pink, flowing dress.

"You can't just run around the house naked!" Nabiki yelled as Ranko skidded to a halt at the end of the hallway.

"There's no stinkin' way that I'll wear girls' clothes!" Ranko spat.

"You don't have a choice, all your clothes are in the wash!" Nabiki sneered, approaching the red-head. "It's only for a little while."

"Sorry, but I'll have a bath ready for you soon." Kasumi added.

Kenma was in the main room, eating his breakfast as Rakkasei came inside. He looked up from his breakfast and smiled. "Morning, Rakka. What's up?" he asked.

"Hey, Ken. What's with all the noise?" asked Rakkasei.

"Oh, just my brother being fussy about clothing choices," Kenma replied. "This kinda thing is pretty normal on most days, so I've learned to not pay it much heed."

"If you say so, man," Rakkasei replied as he sat down nearby. "So what exactly is the deal with that Akane girl, anyway? Why is she so abrasive?"

"Long story, dude," Kenma explained. "But I'll explain later."

The pudgy young man shook his head in disgust. "Boy, am I glad I wasn't dumb enough to try an' fight her. But did you get that new issue of that comic book from America?" he asked.

Kenma reached into his school bag and handed Rakkasei a comic book titled **_Usagi Yojimbo_**. On the cover was a humanoid rabbit in a blue robe, holding a katana with a serious expression.

"Sweet!" Rakkasei grinned. "I can read it at school! Speaking of which, we'd best get a move on before the Hentai Horde starts their daily routine." he grabbed his backpack. "Hey, what about your brother?"

"He'll make it on his own," Kenma replied, getting to his feet. "Race you to school!"

"You are SO on!" Rakkasei replied as the both of them ran out the door.

Kenma chuckled to himself. "And to think I believed that I wouldn't have any friends here...I can still remember when we first met…"

* * *

_**A WEEK AGO...**_

_"Now...remember to relax your wrist," explained Gomibako, as Kenma drew back his arm, clutching the bolo whip and focusing on a stack of soda cans in front of him._

_Twirling it a bit in his grasp, Kenma suddenly lashed the whip forward, knocking the tower of cans apart._

_"Alright! Nice shot!" exclaimed a voice. Kenma turned to see where it came from; it was a rather slender boy his age, with spiky black hair._

_"Thanks…" Kenma replied. "...and who are you exactly?"_

_"Rakkasei. And you?"_

_"The name's Kenma. Pleasure to meet you, Rakkasei."_

_Gomibako walked up to Kenma. "Is he one of your friends, Ken-kun?"_

_Kenma pondered at the question. "I suppose he is." He looked at Rakkasei. "Is it alright if you're my friend?"_

_Rakkasei only beamed at him in response._

* * *

"Ha! I totally beat you!" exclaimed Rakkasei as he crossed into the school gate a meter or two ahead of Kenma.

Kenma walked up to Rakkasei, wheezing and clutching his shirt. "I… I was j-just going easy on you..." he managed to say.

Rakkasei rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, man." He looked out the school gates to see both Ranma and Akane running down the street, bickering as they did so. "Say, why do your brother and Akane fight each other everyday?"

Kenma looked over her shoulder to see Akane chase Ranma, the former scowling at him while the latter sneered at Akane.

"I really don't know," Kenma responded, shaking his head as Akane attempted to hit Ranma, who easily dodged her attack. "I don't get why Akane-hime always bickers with Ranma. The only reason I got is that since Ranma's a martial artist, Akane-_hime_ believes she can learn from him. But Akane doesn't like the fact that Ranma doesn't see her as a serious opponent or sparring partner."

Rakkasei nodded his head. "Yeah, I see what you mean." He and Kenma began walking towards the school doors, leaving Ranma and Akane behind as they continued arguing with each other for no reason.

As they were walking to class, a question popped in Rakkasei's head.

"Say, Ken," he asked, turning to Kenma. "What was the hentai horde?"

Kenma's expression immediately soured. He glanced at the clock in the hallway. "Looks like we have sometime before class," he stated, letting out a deep sigh. He turned to Rakkasei. "Ok, Rakka. I'm going to give you a crash course on the hentai horde. Are you ready?"

Rakkasei shrugged his shoulders. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Kenma took a deep breath. "Ok, here I go… "

* * *

**_Flashback_**

_Ranma and Akane were standing out in the hall with buckets in hand as they were late._

_"So, 'Kane, what was all that about?" asked Ranma, who was just trying to kill time._

_"What do you mean?" growled Akane, glaring at Ranma. She did not want to talk to anyone at the moment and Ranma was making this hard for her._

_Ranma raised his hands in defense. "Hey now. I didn't do anything wrong, so don't go yelling at me."_

_Akane let out a deep sigh as she rubbed her eyes with her free hand. "I know, Ranma. I'm sorry. It's just that the hentai horde is SO annoying. And it's been on for more than a week now!"_

_"Why does the hentai horde even exist?" Ranma asked her._

_"A while back, upperclassman Kuno made a decree for a school speech contest and essentially said that if anyone wanted to date me, they had to beat me in combat. And that's what has been happening for the last week or so," explained Akane, a hint of sadness in her voice._

_Ranma remained quiet as he processed this piece of information. To a degree, he felt bad for her. "It must be frustrating if random boys fought you every morning just for a date," he thought. _

_"Well, ya shouldn't be worried anymore, 'Kane," said Ranma, breaking the silence that had consumed them. "After, Kuno was the one who made that shitty speech 'bout dating you and now that he's been defeated, the others prolly won't fight ya every morning."_

_Akane pondered at what Ranma had said for a moment. "I suppose you're right. Those… boys probably won't attack me anymore, especially after witnessing the utter destruction of their leader." She turned to Ranma and beamed at him. "Thanks Ranma. I feel better about the situation at hand."_

_"Anytime," Ranma replied, beaming back at Akane._

_Neither of them noticed Kenma silently glowering at the two from a dark corner_ (_Kami only knows how he got there_).

* * *

"... And that's the story about the hentai horde." explained Kenma.

Rakkasei shook his head in disbelief. "Wow. I just can't believe that happened."

"Yeah, me neither," agreed Kenma. "Who'd have thought I was so good at imitating voices?"

"I mean, I knew about that speech which Kuno said said a while back. But I didn't know it created the hentai horde. "

"Well, for some screwy reason, the other guys actually took what he said to heart."

"Yeah… " Rakkasei noticed that. "Funny how people can be so easily manipulated…"

"And now, they're nursing bruises!" Kenma snorted. "Serves them right!"

* * *

Kenma was still chuckling about it as he left school that afternoon with Rakkasei, though both of them turned when they heard Akane yelling.

"Ranma, get back here!" she called to the pig-tailed boy, who was keeping a steady pace ahead of her.

"Catch me if ya can!" Ranma exclaimed in a cheerful tone, a wide, childish grin etched on his face.

The boy leapfrogged over a student, and darted between two others, laughing all the way as though it were all just a game to him. On his next leap, however, he suddenly sensed something was off, and narrowly managed to dodge getting smacked by a massive parasol coming down towards him.

Clutching it was a young man about Ranma's age, wearing a cheetah-print bandanna on his head, as well as a yellow shirt and black pants. On his face was a furious expression.

"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!" he bellowed.

The umbrella's tip jutted into the ground, creating a massive circle from the vibrations, as Ranma leapt away.

Kenma and Rakka looked towards the center of the circle as the dust cleared, revealing the boy standing within.

"Is that…no, it couldn't be!" Kenma exclaimed, running towards the circle. Once he got a closer look, his eyes lit up. "It IS!" he gave a hearty laugh. "If it isn't old Lost Boy Ryoga!"

The boy glanced up at Kenma, and his eyes widened. "...Kenma? Kenma Saotome?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's me!" Kenma replied.

Ryoga laughed and hugged Kenma briefly. "My God, it's been ages! How've you been?"

"Oh, as well as I can be," Kenma replied. "This is my new pal, Rakkasei. Rakka, this is my old friend, Ryoga Hibiki. But I call him the Eternal Lost Boy, cuz of his lousy sense of direction!"

"Nice to meet you…" Rakkasei nodded.

"Likewise," Ryoga nodded, before his expression hardened. "Now, where is that weasel you call a brother?"

"Kenma, do you know this guy?" asked Akane, coming towards him.

"To be honest, I do," Kenma replied. "We go way back."

Ranma poked his head into the scene to get a look for himself. "Ken, who's the nut with the parasol?" he asked.

"You mean you really don't remember?" asked Kenma and Ryoga at the same time, before they did a double-take in surprise, realizing what had just happened.

Ranma was a little surprised by that, but he shook his head in response.

"Fine then, don't remember me. But answer this question," Ryoga growled at the pigtailed boy. "Why did you run out on our fight?!"

At that moment, it struck Ranma like a jolt from the sky. "Wait a sec...I remember now! You were in my class back in our old high school...Ryoga Hibiki! Man, it's been a while, eh?" he replied.

"Well? Answer me!" the bandanna-wearing boy spat.

"Hey, I was waiting for 3 days at the place you said it'd happen." Ranma explained.

"And when I came on the 4th day...you had departed like a coward!" Ryoga scowled.

"Ryoga, quick question," Ranma spoke up. "Why exactly did it take ya 4 days to get to the vacant lot behind yer own house?"

"Four days...to find a place...behind his house?!" Akane exclaimed, dumbstruck; she looked at Kenma for confirmation.

Kenma only shrugged his shoulders. "It's all true, Akane-_hime_. We called him the 'Eternal Lost Boy' for a reason." he nodded.

Rakkasei stared at Ryoga incredulously. "Damn, that's insane."

By this time, a crowd had gathered around Ryoga and Ranma; apparently, they decided they could stick around for a little longer to see how this would play out.

"Did he just say four days?" a male student called out.

"I think so..." replied another male student.

"Damn. No wonder he's called the 'Eternal Lost Boy,'" said the first guy. "Probably couldn't follow a map even if it were a straight line..."

"Poor guy. I feel really bad for him," said one girl.

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME!" Ryoga snarled at Ranma. "YOU THINK I JUST STROLLED AROUND JAPAN FOR THE CARDIO?!"

"So what exactly were you doing...?" asked Kenma.

"I endured all sorts of hardship before I got here…" Ryoga explained, shuddering at the memories of running from one city to another. "And what did I find when I finally arrived? You went and broke a man-to-man promise! Daring to run off to China with your father and brother? That lousy father of yours, I would expect this sort of behavior...but your BROTHER?! I don't even know how someone so upstanding could be related to a spineless slug like you!"

With a furious roar, the Eternal Lost Boy swung his umbrella at Ranma, who leapt out of the way.

"So you came here to finish the fight?" asked Ranma.

"FINISH IT…?!" Ryoga asked, a frenzied cackle building in his throat. "IT'S ONLY JUST BEGUN! THIS IS REVENGE!"

He opened his parasol and flung it at Ranma, who dodged the whirling instrument.

"Revenge for what?" asked Kenma as the umbrella came whirling back into Ryoga's grip.

"Since you're my friend, Kenma, I shall spare you my fury," he explained. "But no matter what it takes...I fully intend to shatter Ranma's happiness!"

Ranma looked at him, incredulously. "...what happiness?" he asked. He turned to Kenma. "Am I happy?"

Kenma shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, you love doing martial arts. So I'd say you're happy most of the time."

"I guess…" Ranma replied. "But I wouldn't exactly say I'm happy, _per se_. Just hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

And he quickly dashed out of the schoolyard, ignoring Ryoga's angry shouting to come back and fight like a man.

Akane turned to Kenma. "What was all that about?" she asked.

"Hey, don't look at me, Akane-_hime_," Kenma said, raising his hands in surrender. "He may be my brother, but I don't know what goes through that head of his."

Ranma shot down the street, running past Panda-Genma, who was sweeping up outside Dr. Tofu's office building. Apparently, during the previous week, the good doctor had given him a job as his assistant.

Soon, Ranma returned and tossed something to Ryoga, who snagged it out of the air. He glanced down at the object, which was apparently wrapped in cellophane.

"Curry bread? What's the big idea, Saotome?" he asked.

"How's about it?" Ranma replied. "Forgive n' forget, whaddya say?"

Ryoga squeezed the object in his grasp. "Don't you dare mock me!" he scowled.

Ranma sighed. "Honestly, some people can be SO greedy…" he shook his head before tossing some more food to him, every one of which Ryoga managed to catch. "Chow-mein bread...croquette bread...melon bread...cutlet sandwich...meat bread...seaweed bread...and a chicken parm for good measure."

Ryoga glared down at the food in his hands as if he were expecting it all to spontaneously burst into flames.

"Well? Did I leave anything out?" asked Ranma.

"WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR…?!" Ryoga shouted.

"Yeah, Ranma, what _DO_ you take him for?" chimed Akane.

"Well, back when we attended the same school as Ryoga, we went to an all-guys school," Ranma explained. "Lunchtime there was a total battlefield. It was first-come, first-serve, which was why Kenma made sure to be in the lunchroom as early as he could every afternoon. Besides, not like it's my fault Ryoga was such a slowpoke. Honestly, he was blubberin' like a baby over a stupid piece of bread."

"Piss off!" Ryoga spat.

"But I don't understand; why make all this trouble?" asked Akane. "I mean, it's only bread."

"I thought so too." Ranma replied. "But every day at lunch, I always got the jump on him. Again, and again, and again…"

Akane gave a flat expression. "And you wonder why he's so angry with you…" she remarked.

"Alright, so you want revenge on Ranma," Kenma told Ryoga. "And so you get it; then what?"

"Hm?" Ryoga turned to his old friend.

"You heard me," Kenma replied. "What will you do after you finally get your revenge? What are you going to gain from it?"

Ryoga was silenced by this; for weeks now, he'd been hoping to claim his revenge for how that insufferable Ranma had humiliated him...but in his heart of hearts, he knew that Kenma made a very good point.

After all, in most of the martial-arts films he'd watched, the people who succeeded in getting their revenge were never better off than they were at the start of the films.

"So...what will it be?" asked Kenma.

Ryoga glanced over at Ranma...and then back at Kenma for a good, long time. Finally, with a sigh of relenting, he picked up his umbrella, and began to walk out of the schoolyard.

"Ryoga? Where are you going?" asked Kenma. "...and do you need me to make sure you actually GET there?" he added, after a brief period of hesitation.

Ryoga's face was flush with embarrassment, until it faded.

"...I'll be fine, thanks. For the first time in weeks...I think I might actually be fine." he replied, before he continued walking away.

Everyone watched as Ryoga left, before the other students began walking home.

"Where do you suppose he's going?" asked Rakkasei as he and Kenma began walking home.

"Knowing him?" replied Kenma. "Probably somewhere he wasn't even hoping to be…"

* * *

_**A FEW DAYS LATER…**_

Ryoga had, by some inane miracle, ended up at the Jusenkyo springs; somehow it felt all-too-familiar to him. To think, he only intended to go to the corner store...

"I guess I owe Kenma a thanks," he remarked. "When I see him again, I'll be sure to do just that."

He continued his trek as rain began to pour down in bucketfuls. Soon, all that was left of him was a pile of clothes, and out of the clothes emerged a tiny, black piglet wearing a cheetah-print bandana who kept on trying to wipe the water out of his eyes.

Sadly, his tiny, stubby arms were not too useful for such a task, and he could barely see where he was going. So it wasn't much surprise when the piglet suddenly tripped and plummeted into one of the springs, sinking like a stone.

Minutes later, a black-haired girl with a rather..._plentiful_ bosom burst out of the water.

"Finally, I can talk again…" she sighed. "Wait...is that _MY_ voice?!"

Gazing into the reflective surface of the water, she saw an attractive young woman with dark hair, with a cheetah-print bandanna on her head, staring right back at her.

"Yaaaaagh! What'd this crazy water do to me?!" she exclaimed, jumping out and grabbing her clothing off the ground.

"Okay, Ryoga...don't panic…there has to be some explanation for what happened!" she told herself, clutching her head.

Nearby, the Jusenkyo guide shook his head in dismay while holding his umbrella. "Another victim of _Nyannichuan_…" he remarked, making _tsk-tsk-tsk _noises.

"I'd better go home and feed Checkers…" Ryoga declared, turning on her heel and walking off. Wherever she was, she knew that her dog was probably waiting for her to come back.

Unfortunately, she didn't realize that the direction she was heading in led straight to the village of the Chinese Amazons.

But that's a story for later.

* * *

_**How's THAT for different, eh? And before you ask, NO, female Ryoga isn't going to be attracted to Ranma.**_

_**Akane will still get short hair; only this time, she decided to ask Kasumi to cut it for her.**_

_**But speaking of questions...what would be a good idea for Ryoga's female name? You can leave suggestions in the comments after your chapter reviews. The winning name will be chosen randomly, and the one who contributed the winner will be acknowledged and congratulated accordingly.**_

* * *

**NEXT TIME: _Watch out...here comes the Black Rose, Kodachi! And she's got her sights set on Ranma!_**


	4. Kodachi's Challenge

Tale #4:

"_**The Challenge of Kodachi**_"

**Featured voices**

**MYRIAM SIROIS** as Akane Tendo

**FRANK FRANKSON** as Ranma Saotome (male)

**VENUS TERZO** as Ranko Saotome (female)

**RICK JONES** as Kenma Saotome

**MIKE DONOVAN **as Ryoga Hibiki (male)

**LISA ANN BELEY **as Ryoko Hibiki (female)

**TERYL ROTHERY **as Kodachi Kuno

and **CATHY WESELUCK **as Shampoo

Winner of the name game is **AsheTDust**. Ryoko Hibiki it is!

* * *

"_AAAAAUGH! Keep your hands off of me, you vile brute!" the lovely Princess Akane cried as she tried to fend off her devilish captor. But regardless of what she did, he just kept on approaching._

"_You are left with very little choice, Lady Akane…" cackled Tatewaki the Terrible, as he came closer. "Either you shall love me by choice, or you shall love me by FORCE!"_

"_That's not your choice to make!" announced a voice; it was none other than that of the heroic warrior, Rakurai Kenma, armed with his trusty bolo whip._

_The reason they called him "Rakurai Kenma" was because when he used his whip, he struck like a lightning bolt._

"_You can't stop ME, incompetent oaf!" Tatewaki roared, lunging with his razor-sharp talons. Kenma just wound up his whip, spun it like a lasso, and lashed it at Tatewaki, the very impact itself sending him flying right through a wall._

"_Are you alright, Akane-_hime?" _asked Kenma, helping the young woman to her feet._

"_Fine, thank you," Princess Akane said as she brushed herself off. "You know, I had him handled."_

"_Sure, but I was willing to help you out," Kenma replied. "Besides, I could never deny coming to aid a lovely maiden in need...!"_

"_What type of ice cream do you want?" asked Princess Akane._

"_Huh?" Kenma responded, obviously confused by such a question._

"_I said, what type of ice cream do you want?"_

* * *

Suddenly, Kenma was snapped out of his daydream by Ranko screaming "Oi, Kenma, snap out of it!" while she shook him violently.

Kenma's vision cleared as he returned to reality. In front of him, he saw an ice cream vendor worker giving him a strange smile. To his right he saw a highly embarrassed Ranko shaking her head from the scene Kenma caused. He heard some giggling coming from behind him, causing his cheeks to faintly color up.

"I'll have two scoops of French Vanilla on a waffle cone with chocolate syrup," mumbled Kenma, keeping his eyes on the floor to avoid eye contact.

"Right away," the ice cream vendor worker said, giving Kenma a quick bow. "Allow me to read back your order." The worker looked down at his notepad where he wrote Ranko's and Kenma's order. "So this young lady would like a scoop of Cookies and Cream and a scoop of Strawberry with sprinkles and you would like two scoops of French Vanilla with chocolate syrup?" Ranko and Kenma both nodded their heads. "Alright then, that'll be ¥2100."

Kenma reached into his pocket to get his wallet to pay for the order when Ranko stopped him.

"Huh?" Kenma asked. "I got this covered…"

"Allow me, dear brother," Ranko whispered under her breath while she discreetly unbuttoned the top of her shirt. She did it so quickly that no one would have seen it unless they were watching in slow motion.

"Hey there, handsome~" said Ranko in a sweet, seductive voice. "How about you give me and my friend over here the ice cream for free?"

Now it was time for Kenma to be embarrassed. He averted his gaze from Ranko and turned to face the street as he felt his face start to heat up as he felt the embarrassment hitting him in waves. Although he had to admit that Ranko was a force to be reckoned with… someone he was not enemies with (thank kami).

Ranko internally snickered at Kenma while having all of her attention on the worker, who was at a loss for words once he had gotten a good look at her. Especially her assets. And surprisingly, she'd chosen to wear some purple eyeshadow while she was out, to really drive it home.

While Ranko didn't like being ogled at (something she was aware since this wasn't the first time she had done something like this; also, Akane's reaction to Kenma's ogling had made Ranko more aware of it), if she could get free food, she would permit the looks she got.

The vendor blushed visibly. "W-well, I was considering charging you both for that ice cream...but I suppose I could give you both these ones, free of charge…" he exclaimed, sheepishly, as he gave her both cones.

Ranko giggled coquettishly as she claimed her prizes for herself. "Gee, mister, thanks!" she beamed.

"N-no problem," the vendor replied. "Come back soon!"

Kenma claimed his cone, while Ranko strolled down the street, enjoying hers at her leisure.

_Yep...when it comes to eating out, being a girl's the only way to go_, the red-headed girl smiled to herself as she licked up her ice cream.

As the siblings continued their stroll, they overheard angry voices from nearby.

"Don't think we don't realize what you're up to!"

"You're trying to keep us out of the competition! Why else would you be ambushing us before the tournament?!"

Kenma and Ranko both peeked over the fence to get a better look; from what they could see, a raven-haired girl with a ponytail was cornered by three other girls, each dressed in gymnastics gear and wielding a pair of clubs.

"I recognize 3 of those girls…" Ranko muttered. "They're in my class!"

"Now you'll know how _we _felt!" said one girl, as they all charged at the raven-haired one.

The black-haired girl just flexed her ribbon. "Now, girls…" she said, before smacking them all multiple times, like the ribbon was some kind of bullwhip. "...if I weren't a lady...I'd have to teach you all a lesson, and then you'd _really _be in trouble; lucky for you, I was taught better than that!"

The girls shrieked in pain as they were smacked about, over and over.

Ranko flicked her sun visor off her head, ate the last of her cone, and leapt into the fray, snagging Kodachi's ribbon and putting a stop to her little assault.

"Knock it off, wouldja?" she asked.

"Sure, you won; but this is just being brutal!" Kenma added, joining his sibling shortly after he'd finished off the last of his ice cream.

Ranko looked at Kenma in surprise. "Kenma… since when did you fight?"

Kenma looked at Ranko blankly when he realized something. "I… don't really know how to fight.." he answered meekly.

"Then why the hell did you enter this fight?" asked a fuming Ranko.

"I dunno, I wanted to help you out!" Kenma replied, positioning himself in a running pose. "But she really wants to fight so I'll just run around while you do the actual fighting."

The raven-haired girl glowered at Ranko, but the way she looked at Kenma was..._different_. Ranko observed the girl chasing Kenma for a moment before she realized something: her eyes were full of lust and longing. Longing for Kenma.

And the way she was chasing him...it seemed like she only saw this as one big game, with him as the prize!

"GO AWAY, WOULDJA?! I'M NOT INTERESTED!" Kenma shrieked in fear.

"COME INTO MY ARMS, MY DARLING KNIGHT!" the raven-haired girl exclaimed, before twirling her ribbon and using it to tie him up from his ankles to his shoulders.

Kenma tried to break free, or at least wriggle out of his ribbon trap, but it did no good. He was all tied up, with no way to go.

The girl chuckled to herself as she waved something before Kenma's nose-it was a rose with petals as dark as her hair...with something added to it.

"What's in that flower?" Kenma asked.

The black-haired girl chuckled. "Why don't you give it a sniff and see for yourself?"

"No thanks," Kenma replied. "I make it a point to not sniff strange plants."

"Also," said a voice from behind the raven-haired girl. "When in battle, it'd be a good idea if you were attentive of your opponent!"

The girl spun around, bewildered. Behind her was Ranko, with an expression of tranquil fury on her face.

"So, you managed to get behind me…" the black-haired girl smiled. "I see you're no ordinary girl…"

Ranko smirked at the raven haired girl. "'Ordinary' is the last thing I'd call myself." she replied, as she looked the girl up and down.

Slowly, Ranko's smile turned into a frown. _Why does this girl look so familiar? I'm sure I've never seen her in my life..._

Suddenly, realization hit Ranko.

"Say, ya wouldn't happen ta be related ta that bastard Kuno?" she asked.

The raven haired girl clapped her hands in amazement. "Very clever of you. May I ask how you know?"

Ranko crossed her arms, a frown gracing her face and body tense in preparation for fighting. "I that you're related to Kuno cuz of your hair. The both of you practically have the same haircut."

The raven haired girl nodded her head. "Yes, I am a Kuno. My name is Kodachi Kuno and the person who you mention is my brother, Tatewaki Kuno." Kodachi let out a sigh. "Although I have enjoyed this little chat, I, unfortunately, have to leave. Tat-ta!"

With that, Kodachi leapt up into the air, showering all the bodies around her with paralysis powder, laughing that annoying laugh of hers.

"D-damn… t-that bitch's crazy… " Ranko managed to say, struggling to do so.

"Too right, though it's to be expected since she's related to Kuno," Kenma agreed, struggling against his binds. "Now, how're we gonna get out? Still kinda...tied up here, in case you forgot."

"...the best I got is wait until the powder wears off…" Ranko replied.

"Who knows how long that's gonna take?!" Kenma grunted. "I hate bein' stuck tied up like this! Somebody get me outta here!" he tried to bite at the ribbon to break himself out, but he couldn't stretch out his neck far enough.

"Hey, what are you two doing?"

Ranko struggled to turn towards the voice she heard as Kenma gasped in surprise and joy. "Akane-_hime! _You came to save me! I'm so happy!" he exclaimed gleefully.

"What happened to you guys?" Akane asked, ignoring Kenma as she pulled Ranko into a sitting position.

"Well, me and Kenma were just eating some ice creams when we heard some shouting coming from this area. Me and Kenma ran towards the shouting and met some bitch named Kodachi. She totally destroyed some gymnasts from our school. Kenma over here had the bright idea of jumping into battle with no experience in fighting whatsoever." Ranko paused for a little bit to catch her breath.

"And you'd have preferred I just let you go in alone?!" Kenma interjected.

"Anyways," Ranko continued, ignoring Kenma, "Kenma started running around like the _baka _he is while Kodachi took the liberty to tie him up with some ribbons or something. I took this time to sneak up behind her and somewhat scare her. Around this time, I realized that Kodachi was related to Kuno and her next actions only proved this. That… psychotic bitch…paralyzed us all! It's so humiliating!"

"Not as humiliating as being tied up in some ribbons and unable to do anything," muttered Kenma, who Akane had taken pity for and undid his binds. "Thank you, Akane-_hime._"

By this time, the effects of the paralysis powder ran out so Ranko was able to stand up, albeit slowly and with some help from Kenma.

Finally on her feet, Ranko turned to Akane and bowed the slightest bit. "Thanks, Akane, for helping me and my brother out earlier."

"Sure, someone has to get you out of scrapes," Akane replied. "Besides, Kenma isn't exactly qualified for such a task…"

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT!" Kenma shouted. "I'M SICK OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE SAVED, AND I'M SICK OF AKANE'S PITY! Besides...she's only doing this for me because she feels bad about how she beat the crap outta me and bashed my head in!"

He turned to face Ranko, tears in his eyes. "Brother...I want to become strong...like you! So that I'll be able to defend myself and others! So that Akane-_hime _will actually like me, instead of being nice to me out of pity…" he wailed.

"Umm… " Ranko glanced towards Akane as if asking her what she should do. All Akane did was shrug her shoulders while feeling pity for Kenma's weakness.

"Damn it, brother...I never asked you for anything before….but now I'm begging you!" Kenma sniffed, attempting to kneel. "Because there's no way in Hell that I'm going to ask Dad. He'll probably just say that I should've just paid attention from the beginning...or worse, he'll say…"

Kenma cleared his throat and did his best impression of Genma. "Ah, finally, my worthless son has chosen to abandon his idiotic pursuit of art and follow in his old man's footsteps! Finally the schools can be joined, and blah-blah-blah!"

After that line Kenma returned to his normal voice. Akane giggled a little at Kenma's impression while a smile managed to escape Ranko.

"...and I honestly don't feel like receiving an 'I was right, you were wrong' lecture from that fat idiot."

Ranko processed what Kenma said. "Well… since you put it that way… " She let out a deep sigh. "I guess… just this once, I'll teach you the basics… "

Kenma cried in joy. "Oh, thank you Ranma!" he exclaimed as he pulled Ranko towards him and wrapped her in a hug. "You don't know how happy it makes me that you'll teach me to fight!"

"Hey, who said anything 'bout fighting?" Ranko asked, struggling to escape Kenma's hug.

"But, you just said that you would teach me… "

"Yea, teach you ta defend yourself! Not fight, per se!" exclaimed Ranko. "Besides, you have that rope thingy to fight with."

Kenma let out a gasp. "You know 'bout the bolo whip?!" he exclaimed.

"Duh," Ranko said, rolling her eyes. "We share a room, ya _baka_. I see your belongings, and you see mine."

"I think I'll just leave," Akane said, starting to turn around when she saw a group of girls crying.

"It's those girls who got attacked earlier…" Kenma murmured.

"The ones from our school?" Ranko and Kenma nodded in confirmation. "Then I think I'll console them while you two come to a consensus."

"What does 'consensus' mean?" asked Ranko, a confused expression on her face.

"Oh bother," replied Akane, shaking her head and covering her face with a hand while Kenma smacked Ranko on the head.

"Ow!" Ranko grunted. "Don't forget, I'm still gonna be teaching you self-defense!"

Kenma quickly dropped to his knees and bowed. "Forgive me, sensei! I've forgotten my place!" he exclaimed.

Ranko smirked a bit at that, enjoying the feeling of absolute respect. And as long as the old man didn't catch wind of this plan, everything would be just peachy.

* * *

While Ranko was relishing in the feeling of dominance over her brother, Akane walked over to the crying gymnasts from Furinkan.

"So all of you were attacked?" she asked.

"That big coward ambushed us!" wailed one girl. "And in the middle of the night, no less!"

"Now we'll hafta forfeit the tournament!" another sobbed.

"Akane, you hafta help us; you're our only hope!" begged the third.

"So you want me to fill in for you?" Akane asked, trying to see if she was getting the message right. _And why did they quote Princess Leia...?_

"Please, Akane! Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics means so much to us!" begged the girls.

"Martial-Arts Rhythmic….huh?" asked Ranko, baffled.

"Don't tell me you don't know!" said the first girl.

"It's our main sport against St. Hebereke!" added the 2nd.

"Nicknamed 'St. Bacchus'!" concluded the third.

Akane pondered on this. "Well...I dunno how good I'll be, but I'll give it a shot!" she replied.

The girls appreciatively clasped Akane's hands. "Oh, thank you, Akane!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Don't worry...I'll avenge you all." Akane vowed, much to the gratitude of the three gymnasts, and much to the ire of Ranko.

Kenma sighed, admiringly. "Akane-_hime _is so selfless…" he gushed.

* * *

A while later, in the training hall, Akane was in her _gi _once more, while Ranma was back in his male form. Kenma was also with him.

"Did they sucker ya into this or what?" asked Ranma, spinning one of the clubs on his fingers. "You even know HOW to use this stuff?"

"Well, I suppose we'll see, won't we?" asked Akane with an underlying smugness, as she looked at the ribbon in her hand.

"_I'm not used to fighting with a weapon," _Akane thought as she twirled her bright red ribbon. "_Fighting with this ribbon is gonna take some time to get used to."_ She let out a deep sigh. "_I wish I had someone who could teach me to fight with a weapon, or rather, a ribbon."_

Akane turned to face the bottles she had set up for target practice.

"This should be entertaining…" Ranma muttered.

The Saotome brothers both watched Akane trying to use the materials she'd been given...and doing terribly at it. She managed to tangle herself in the ribbon, falling to the ground with a loud "thud."

"Holy crap, she's terrible at this…" Ranma winced.

"Oh, come on, bro; she's just new to it." Kenma replied. "I bet you weren't exactly a pro at martial arts the first time you started out."

"A little less talk, please," said Akane, struggling to escape her ribbon. "Å little more help would be nice."

"Anything for the lovely Akane-_hime,_" said Kenma, dashing over to Akane to untangle her from her makeshift prison.

Ranma rolled his eyes at such a degrading sight; his own brother was practically an obedient lapdog for Akane, gripped and blinded by his own love for her. You'd never see Ranma Saotome acting like that, no way! He had no time to waste on making goo-goo eyes over women, especially with his whole "martial arts" training going on.

And yet...somehow, Kenma always managed to make time to do just that. Mostly because he couldn't care less about martial arts...unless it was to protect people, that is.

So, the Saotome brothers continued to observe Akane as she kept on proving her ineptitude when it came to Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics.

She tossed a large hoop into the air, grabbed it by the rung, and attempted to somersault through it...only to end up breaking it.

Ranma watched with mild amusement. "Pretty sure they take off points for breaking the hoop…" he replied.

Kenma winced. "Perhaps you may have bitten off more than you can chew, Akane-_hime_…" he stated.

Akane angrily stomped up and down while swearing like a sailor, enraged at her own ineptitude.

* * *

Soun was in the ofunda, taking a long, warm soak, when suddenly, the bathroom window opened, and Ryoga climbed in and jumped into the tub.

The bandana-headed boy climbed out shortly after. He gave Soun a quick nod, then took a towel and dried his head off as he left the bathroom.

Soun looked on for a few more seconds...then went right back to his hot soak.

* * *

Back in the dojo, Akane had finished her little outburst….and began a fresh one.

"...I STINK AT THIS, OKAY?!" she shouted. "I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A KLUTZ, ALRIGHT?!"

Ranma backed up a bit. "Well, why're ya tellin' me for?" he asked.

Just then, a female voice spoke up. "Y'know, I could teach you."

The three occupants of the room turned into a beautiful, green-black haired girl with a black and yellow striped bandana. She wore a yellow shirt and a pair of jeans with some sneakers.

_She's gorgeous, _Kenma thought as he ogled her body in awe. A thin trail of blood began to leak from his left nostril.

"Who exactly _are _you, anyway?" Akane asked.

"My name's…._Ryoko _Hibiki," smiled the girl. "You probably know my brother, Ryoga. He's told me plenty through his letters about that Ranma boy...and of course, his brother Kenma."

She leaned in until she was about a hair's length from Kenma's face. "You know, Ryoga always talked about what a good friend you were...but he never told me how cute you are~" she smiled, flashing her little canines with a playful, flirty growl as she used one of her fingers to play with a lock of Kenma's hair.

Steam shot from Kenma's ears, and he began sweating like crazy. As far as he'd known, Ryoga had never mentioned a sister before. Maybe she'd also been missing for most of his life…after all, the Hibiki family's poor sense of direction also extended to Ryoga's parents.

Feeling a twinge of jealousy, Akane cleared her throat. "...you said you'd help to train me?" she asked, her tone sprinkled with a mix of impatience and jealousy.

"Sure," Ryoko replied. "Our mother taught me the basics of Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics. I figure I could pass on my knowledge to someone in need."

Akane smiled. "...that's very nice of you…"

Ryoko gave a small giggle. "Think nothing of it; anything to help a friend of my brother." she replied. "First, we'll start with the basics, and by that, I mean we'll start with the ribbon."

She picked up the ribbon by the handle and twirled it in the air, to loosen it up, before she turned to face Ranma, much to his confusion.

Before he could even blink, Ryoko was using the ribbon to assault Ranma from all sides, sending him into the wall.

Akane was astonished. "Whoa...that is so cool~!" she exclaimed.

Ryoko casually twirled the ribbon in the air, before giving another flirty wink to Kenma, while Ranma was still stewing over just recently getting his butt handed to him.

"Hey, what the hell!" growled Ranma as he slowly got up to his feet. "Ya only met me a few minutes ago! I have never done anything to ya!"

"Ranma, is that anyway to take to a lady?" asked Kenma, his tone icy.

"Bro, this girl just attacked me outta nowhere!" cried Ranma. "I need her to explain why she attacked me!"

"Maybe you scared her," said Kenma matter of factly.

Ranma's eyes narrowed upon Kenma. "Why are ya siding with this girl?"

"I dunno," admitted Kenma, shrugging his shoulders. "She seems nice. Plus… she's cute."

"I see," Ranma said, shaking his head. "And what happened to Akane? Or should I say Akane-_hime?_"

"Hey, I still care for her," replied Kenma, ignoring Ranma's taunt. "I just also like Ryoko. And she likes me. Besides, for one, I can think that two girls look cute. Second, you don't like Akane anyway. What're you getting so worked up about?"

"I may not like Akane," Ranma said, his tone deadly, "but I think it's wrong two-timing her. Actually, no, I don't think it's wrong. I KNOW it's wrong."

Kenma sighed. "Dammit...you're right. I couldn't do anything like that to her. But I know that I _do _like them both...and _not _just for their bodies. Akane is headstrong and determined, and Ryoko is nimble and skilled. And above all, they both seem like great people. Although at this point, I'm not exactly sure if I could even _begin _to consider polygamy; after all, this IS Ryoga's sister, and we DID just meet, so that makes stuff difficult…"

"... And I think you need to go into the timeout corner," said Ranma, shaking his head in disappointment. "I mean, you only just met Ryoko and now you're madly in love? And now you're considering polygamy? What have you been smoking?"

"I never said I was considering it, I said I couldn't even _begin to consider_ it," Kenma replied. "Somebody's got selective hearing. But then again...maybe it's a bad idea. Ryoga would never want me to stoop this low, especially if it involved his own sister. Maybe it's better off if Ryoko and I just stay good friends. Besides, she's cool and all, but Akane-_hime _is my Number 1."

"So, what, Ryoko is your Number 2?" Ranma asked, rubbing his forehead. "_It's always been like this whenever he met multiple girls he liked."_ "Bro, you can't make Ryoko your side chick. In fact, I think you should go to sleep or something. You're gonna make a decision you might regret later on."

"Geez, were you not listening?" Kenma retorted as he tapped on Ranma's head. "Hello, Earth to Saotome! What, d'ya got rocks in your ears? I said that it'd be better off if Ryoko was just a friend. As in, a good buddy, a pal; Non-romantic in _any _way whatsoever. Besides, I may not seem like it, but I can actually learn from my mistakes. Tomorrow, I'm gonna tell Ryoko that while she's a nice girl, I think we should just be friends; her brother would never want me to forsake Akane for her, because while his physical compass may be a bit out-of-tune, his moral compass is working just fine."

"Besides, when did _you _get so brainy about this kinda stuff?" he added. "Of all the people I know, you're the last I expected to be so knowledgeable when it came to this sort of thing."

"With experience comes knowledge," said Ranma wisely.

Kenma glared at Ranma while the latter kept his cool and looked at the former calmly.

"Should we stop these two?" Ryoko whispered to Akane.

_Mister big-shot know-it-all_, Kenma thought to himself as he got up and walked out of the room. "For your information, I don't need sleep, I need some air. So I'm gonna head out and get some." he spoke up, his tone sounding rather perturbed.

"...fine by me!" Ranma replied dismissively.

"We'd be better off waiting until they _both _cool down," Akane told Ryoko, who felt a bit guilty about what she'd done.

* * *

Kenma was strolling down the street, grumbling to himself under his breath and kicking rocks.

_Who th' hell is HE to grill me on girls, anyway? Honestly...that guy! It's not like I was really considering being in a relationship with Ryoko. I mean, what jackass begins a relationship with somebody they've just met?_

_Then again...it wouldn't be the first time I got into an ugly situation, _Kenma sighed to himself. _Back in China, my attempt to hit on that Chinese girl got me into a nasty problem with her boyfriend, who happened to be part of a terrifying gang. And...in his own way, Ranma _DID _help me out of that mess. Maybe I ought to go back and clear things up. Sure, Ranma can be a bit of a bonehead...but he's still my brother, and the only family member I can actually count on…_

Suddenly, a blur of black jolts Kenma out of his thoughts. As he turned to look, he saw that it was headed for the Tendo Dojo.

"I need to do something…" Kenma declared. "I can apologize when I get back to the dojo."

And so, he followed closely behind the mysterious formless shape as it approached one of the windows on the upstairs floor.

* * *

Akane had just collapsed into her bed, tired out from all of the training she was put through in such a short while.

"Damn...I'm beat…." she wheezed. "I could sleep for an entire week."

She shifted in her bed, turning so that her eyes were facing the ceiling...but that was when she knew something was wrong. Because there, clinging to the ceiling, was Kodachi, her mallet behind her, and her signature black rose clutched between her lips by the stem.

One thought crossed Akane's mind at that moment: '_...WHAT THE HELL?!_'

Kodachi released herself from the ceiling, grabbing her mallet and swinging it over her head.

"AKANE TENDO, PREPARE TO DIE!" she bellowed, bringing it down towards her opponent.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, the business end of a bolo-whip shot out, and snagged the mallet by the handle.

"Not while I still draw breath...from these lungs!" declared Kenma. "Because you….WON'T….HURT...AKANE-_HIME_!

With a second tug, he used the bolo-whip to fling the mallet into the distance.

Akane rolled out of her bed and got to a fighting stance. "So...who are you, anyway?" she asked.

"Your opponent in next week's tournament," replied Kodachi. "The gymnastics champion of St. Hebereke, Kodachi the Black Rose!~"

And so she began to attack Akane with anything she could find. "I want to see what you're capable of, so let's give each other a fair match, okay?!" she shouted, in between each attack.

Akane looked ready to explode. "What the hell is 'fair' about attacking me?!" she asked. "Especially in my own home?!"

Kodachi feigned innocence. "Why, I haven't the foggiest idea of what you're talking about." Pulling a ribbon out from between her breasts, she twirled it around Akane's body until she was all tied up.

"And now that I've got you…" she smiled, taking out another mallet from somewhere. "...DIE!" she screamed, raising it over her head.

Just then, the door burst open, and Ranma came into the room, right when Kenma had swung in, using his whip like a vine.

"Huh? What are you doing here?" they both asked each other in unison. "What am _I _doing here? I came to see what the noise was about!"

Kenma looked a bit sheepish. "Look...Bro ...I just wanna say I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I was way outta line, and I should've used my brain ..." he began to say.

"That's nice, man..." interrupted Ranma as he dodged some paralysis powder that Kodachi released, "but now is NOT the time."

"Oh, alright; I can save it for later," Kenma relented. "What _was_ that noise, anyway?"

"It is I, Kodachi Kuno," said Kodachi, her eyes only on Kenma. Involuntarily, she licked her lips while looking Kenma up and down, causing him to become very, _very_ uncomfortable. "And I think I'll take this stud with me for compensation."

Kodachi made a move towards Kenma when Ranma jumped out of nowhere. "Hey, not so fast! I'm your opponent from some time ago and I want a rematch!" he shouted.

"You must be mistaken," Kodachi replied. "I hardly even know you. This gorgeous side of beef, however…" she leered at Kenma. "I could _never _forget such a handsome face~"

"If you've got an idea, I am all ears!" Kenma told his brother, feeling more and more creeped out by Kodachi with every passing second as she got closer and closer to him. "If you help get me outta this, I swear I'll change! No more gettin' all goofy-eyed over random girls for me, I promise!"

Ranma thought about it for a short moment, considering it. Finally, he sighed. "Fine, I'll help you."

Kenma let out a cry of relief. "Oh, thank you, Ranma!"

"BUT I'm only helping you cuz of your promise-you'd better keep it, or else I'll tell the old man. And, I guess, cuz you're my brother. I mean, your family is supposed to be there when you need them the most, right?"

Kenma was shocked. He would never have thought that Ranma would say those types of words. Truly, it was the stuff of miracles.

While Kenma was still recoiling from the shock he experienced, Ranma got into a fighting stance.

"Goddamit, I hate hitting girls..." Ranma muttered under his breath as he slowly approached Kodachi, preparing to kick her out the window.

"Hey you! Black Petunia or whatever," he shouted, already in midair after taking a slight jump. "Quit sexually harassin' my brother!"

Before she could react, Kodachi was kicked in the face. The momentum of the kick was so great that she went flying out the window. Fortunately (or rather, unfortunately), Kodachi landed in the koi pond, unconscious of course, floating just above the water level.

Satisfied with the scene, Ranma turned to Kenma. "You're welcome."

Kenma couldn't help but smile. "Ah, now THERE'S the Ranma I know. Cocky and arrogant as always."

"What are you talking about?" Ranma asked, an innocent look gracing his face. "I'm not cocky like you say."

"Fine. Not cocky, just too caught up in your own hype." Kenma replied.

The two brothers began playfully bickering with each other… until Akane cleared her throat.

"Ahem."

The two averted their attention towards Akane.

"Yes, Akane-_hime?_" asked Kenma.

"Who is going to clean up this?" Akane asked, her hand gesturing towards her trashed up room. "ALL of this?"

Ranma and Kenma turned to each other. Even though neither of them were directly responsible for the mess, the one who'd done it was currently floating in the koi pond.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to accept an apology…?" asked Kenma, ready to fall to his knees and beg for her forgiveness.

Akane sighed. "...alright, Kenma, I forgive you...but somebody's going to have to clean up this mess." she explained.

"Well, you and Ryoko have fun with that," Ranma grinned. "Ken and I should get Kodachi to Dr. Tofu's office. She might have some injuries!"

He nudged his brother.

"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Kenma nodded. "I may not like her, but we should at least make sure that she isn't too badly hurt!"

And so, the both of them turned their attention to Kodachi, while Akane and Ryoko were left in the room.

"Typical," muttered Akane as she grabbed a broom that was conveniently located next to the wall.

"You know, I could help if you like," Ryoko offered.

Akane raised her hands in the iconic surprised hand gesture.

"When did you get here?" Akane asked, still recovering from the scare she got.

"I heard a lot of yelling and smashing and so I decided to investigate," replied Ryoko.

"Well, next time don't scare me like that!" exclaimed Akane. "I almost had a heart attack from that!"

"Sorry Akane," Ryoko said, bowing down to show how sincere her apology was. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright, Ryoko_-chan_," Akane said as she let out a sigh. "Cleaning is such a drag." She grabbed a pair of gloves that, like the broom, was conveniently located on the floor of the now trashed room.

"You down to help me clean, right?" Akane asked, tossing Ryoko the pair of gloves.

"Sure," replied Ryoko, putting on the gloves.

And with that, the two girls began cleaning in companionable silence.

* * *

"Ugh… she's so heavy," Ranma groaned as he carried Kodachi on his back.

"I wouldn't know," replied Kenma as he walked next to Ranma. "After all, I'm not the one carrying Kodachi. Apparently, I'm too WEAK to do such a task."

"You _are_ weak," Ranma countered bluntly.

"Then _why_, pray tell, did you ask me to come, brother dearest?" asked Kenma, his voice laced with irritation.

"Because," Ranma said before abruptly stopping to gather his thoughts. "_Why did I ask him to come?"_

"I don't know why I asked you to come with me," admitted Ranma after a moment of silence.

This response infuriated Kenma to no end. "You asked me to come and YOU don't know WHY?!" he snapped. "I could've been building up my relationship with Ryoko! I could've gotten closer to Akane-_hime_, and helped her clean up! Instead, you brought me along, and wasted my time! Screw it, I'm just gonna go home!"

"Fine, be like that!" Ranma yelled as Kenma turned around and made his way back towards the Tendo residence. The black-haired boy let out a sigh as he continued walking. "Why is he like that? All I wanted was some company, that's all...but how was he supposed to know? Not like I actually bothered tellin' him..."

Lost in his thoughts, Ranma did not notice a familiar figure in his surroundings.

Suddenly, the figure jumped out of nowhere and landed in front of Ranma.

Ranma's heart skipped a beat as he recognized the figure. "S-shampoo?" _Shit on a sidewalk...I thought we lost her back in China! How th' hell did she track us all the way here?!_

The purple-haired girl raised her eyebrows. "How you know Shampoo's name?" she asked.

Ranma gulped as he tried to keep himself calm. "...lucky guess." he replied.

Shampoo shook her head. "Japanese people too-too weird." she muttered to herself.

"Is there a reason as to why you have stopped me, Shampoo?"

"You know red-haired girl with pigtail?" asked Shampoo.

"Well, I can't say that I do," Ranma replied, praying internally that this would get Shampoo to give up her mad pursuit and go away. However, he couldn't really bring himself to look Shampoo in the eye; mostly because despite the whole 'trying to kill him' thing, she was still a girl...and a pretty cute one, to boot...


	5. The Girl Named Shampoo

**Tale #5:**

**"****_Big Trouble from Little China! The Name is Shampoo_****"**

**NOTE**: _This chapter, as well as the following ones, combines elements from episodes 15, 16, and 17, collectively known as Shampoo's Introduction arc._

* * *

**Voice talents:**

**JOHN CAMPBELL as** Ranma (male)

**VENUS TERZO as** Ranko (female)

**RICK JONES as** Kenma

**MYRIAM SIROIS as **Akane

**CATHY WESELUCK as **Shampoo

**MIKE DONOVAN:** Ryoga (male)

**LISA ANN BELEY:** Ryoko (female)

**WILLOW JOHNSON:** Kasumi

**ANGIE COSTAIN:** Nabiki

**MIKE DAINGERFIELD**: Soun

**COLIN MURDOCK:** Genma/Panda-Genma

(_replacing the late Robert O. Smith_)

**KIRBY MORROW: **Chinese Tour Guide

* * *

At this moment, Ranma was frozen with shock; here, standing before him, was the same girl who'd been trying to straight-up murder him for at least two weeks' time. And yet, she didn't even realize that the boy in front of her was the same person as the girl she was in pursuit of.

And right now? Ranma was doing his best to maintain his composure. But if Shampoo kept going, she'd probably run into Kenma and mistake HIM for the "red-head girl" that she was seeking revenge on.

"Well...I dunno where that red-head is you're lookin' for," he spoke up. "But she probably got outta town."

Shampoo shook her head. "If not find girl, then maybe I find big stupid panda who always accompany girl!" she replied.

Ranma pondered for a little while. Should he really be so willing to sell out his old man? After all that he'd done...for….hey, wait a minute!

_What the hell has that old fool ever done for me, except try and trade me off to fill his stomach...not to mention...that time with the cats…_

A chill traveled up his spine.

_It'd probably serve him right… get a taste of his own medicine… after all, it's like he usually says: when you're thrown in the deep end, you gotta swim…_

"A panda, you say?" Ranma said as he pretended to be pondering on who this panda was. "Come to think of it… "

"What you have to say?" asked Shampoo, curiously.

"Well, recently, there have been reports of a panda in this neighborhood," Ranma replied as a wicked grin appeared on his face.

"Where?" Shampoo asked, eager for an answer. Surely now she will be able to get her revenge!

"From the rumors I've heard, there is a panda living with the Tendos, who own a dojo. You can't miss it. Sometimes he's outside the local physician's office, sweeping up."

"Stupid panda is going pay for shame it brought me!" Shampoo exclaimed as she raced down the street towards the dojo.

"Sayonara, Shampoo," Ranma said under his breath as he chuckled. "Same goes for Pops. Aw man, his reaction to Shampoo is gonna be priceless! Wish I could be there to see it!"

And he continued on his way to Dr. Tofu's office, with Kodachi's body draped over his back...though she was beginning to slowly regain consciousness.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kenma was heading back to the Tendo place when he saw Shampoo running in his direction.

"Waitaminute...it's that purple-haired girl!" he exclaimed. "Too bad she's trying to kill Ranko...she and bro would probably get along swimmingly. Maybe I could set them up sometime? I'll make a note of that..."

And he nodded as he continued on his way back to the Tendo dojo.

Soon, Kenma returned to the Dojo, and passed by Shampoo, beating the crap out of panda-Genma on his way upstairs. He decided that it was best to not get involved in whatever was happening with the both of them.

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he headed towards Akane's room, ready to help with the cleanup.

"Akane, Ryoko!" he called. "I'm back, in case you need an extra pair of hands to help out!"

When he only heard giggling, Kenma came into the room and saw that Akane and Ryoko had made decent headway cleaning up the room, and were laughing together and having fun talking.

"Well," he smiled. "Nice to know you two are getting along so well...looks like I was worried for no reason!"

"Yeah," Ryoko replied. "Besides, we both think you're fun to be around...when Ranma isn't involved."

"Speaking of involved," said Akane. "What's that noise from downstairs?"

"Oh, simply a visitor from China, is all," Kenma replied as he took up a dustpan and began sweeping.

The three continued cleaning up, ignoring the panda's screaming for help, since they knew he didn't deserve their help.

Unfortunately, Soun didn't know this as he was running down the hall to assist Genma, screaming "I'll save you, Saotome!" all the way.

Shortly after, the sounds of Soun's screams were echoing from downstairs, but since he'd gotten himself into it, none of them bothered helping.

A little while later, Ranma came back from Dr. Tofu's office, and saw Shampoo sitting atop the beaten, bruised bodies of Genma's panda form and Soun.

A broad laugh erupted out of the pig-tailed boy's throat as he clutched his chest; he'd experienced catharsis before, but never anything of this magnitude. It just felt so good to see that idiot he'd had to call his father having been knocked flat on his face at last! And not to mention how often Soun had tried to intimidate him into dating Akane. Ranma felt that this unfair treatment warranted its own fair share of unfair punishment.

The purple-haired girl turned and shot him a glance. She clearly recognized his face from earlier, and began to grow very suspicious about just what he was doing in this dojo anyway.

"You!" she called. "What you doing in here? You have death wish?"

"Go ahead, boy, tell her!" Genma wrote on a sign, winking. "Straighten this whole little mishap out, would you?"

Ranma put a finger to his chin, scratching it, as if lost in thought. Then, a shifty smile crossed his face.

"Hey, you guys were the ones who sent that redheaded girl and her panda to the Amazon village to eat this young woman's prize," he stated. "Don't involve me in your insane schemes!"

Genma and Soun went pale as ghosts. "What are you DOING?!" exclaimed Soun, mortified.

"Well, if you hadn't gone and eaten Shampoo's prize and beaten her, then she wouldn't be so angry." Ranma shrugged.

"Where red pig-tailed girl?" Shampoo scowled, threatening Soun and Genma. "You tell or Shampoo stop being so nice!"

"I can see you three are busy, so I'll just be upstairs," Ranma winked, as he made his way towards the stairs with a spring in his step. As he ascended the staircase, he whistled as he ignored Genma and Soun's protests.

Kenma rushed out of Akane's room. The wails from downstairs were starting to become a bit… disturbing.

However, before he could go to the dojo, Ranma intercepted him.

"Hey, Kenma," Ranma said, giving his brother a curt nod to greet him. "What's up? Why are ya in such a hurry?"

"Ranma," Kenma replied, putting his hands on Ranma's shoulders. "What's going on downstairs?"

"Revenge," Ranma retorted, an evil grin gracing his face.

By this time, Akane and Ryoko had stuck out their heads from the room they were in due to the commotion downstairs and caught the tail end of the brief conversation between the two brothers.

"Revenge? What revenge?" Akane questioned, confusion written all over her face.

Kenma took one look at Ranma again as he heard a panda roar in pain. With a sudden realization, he put two and two together.

"You got revenge for THAT?" Kenma questioned, hints of a smile etched on his face.

"Yup," Ranma responded, his iconic smirk on his face.

Kenma burst out laughing. "Oh, man! I can't believe it…!" he gasped in-between his laughing fits. "Honestly, I think we've been long-overdue for that sort of payback!"

Ryoko tapped Akane on the shoulder. "What the hell is up with them?"

Akane shrugged her shoulders. "Honestly, I don't know."

"Maybe we should ask them for ourselves," Ryoko suggested. "Better than sitting here clueless. And when you ask, maybe try laying on the charm."

The two girls turned back towards the Saotome brothers, both of whom were in a better mood than they'd ever been in for a long time.

"You shoulda heard those old morons!" Ranma cackled. "They were cryin' like a pair of babies!"

"Well, now I wish I could've seen it!" Kenma snickered. "Hell, I would've been there with a Polaroid, snappin' photos!"

Akane tapped Kenma on the shoulder. "OK, what's going on. Who's this purple haired girl, and what's she doing here?"

She then felt a nudge from Ryoko. "Charm, remember?"

Akane sighed inwardly, before she gave Kenma a cute-looking stare. The ginger-headed boy tugged at his shirt collar, feeling nervous as usual.

"Um…er...well…" he stammered.

Akane batted her eyelids at him, inwardly regretting every moment of this. "Please, Kenma-oji? You want to inform your princess, right?~" she asked, gazing into his eyes with a very sensual tone. (**_"Oji" is the Japanese honorific for "prince" -Mitch Fletcher_**)

By now, Kenma was fighting a massive hard-on in his pants, and his face was completely red, sweating bullets.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Princess...yeah, right." he snorted, but he kept it to himself this time.

"...well, okay, since you asked…" Kenma managed to say, chuckling in a sheepish manner. "It all started a while after Bro and Dad fell into Jusenkyo…"

* * *

~**FLASHBACK**~

_During their 'training trip', Ranko, Panda-Genma, and Kenma, were continuing on their trek through China._

_"Man, I'm so hungry…" Ranko groaned, clutching her stomach._

_"That makes two of us…" Kenma agreed, looking rather emaciated._

_"Sirs, we come to rustic village Nyu-Chieh-Zu," the tour guide had told them, holding up a sign with the name on it._

_Ranko could've sworn she misheard that. "Nyu-Chieh...what?" she asked. "That some kinda food…?"_

_The tour guide shook his head. "Sirs, this town of Amazon womans!" he replied._

_Kenma's eyes suddenly shot wide-open. Had he heard the guide correctly?_

_"...did you say...amazon...women…?!" he asked, clearing out his ears. The tour guide nodded, and at that, it was like a jolt of energy was shooting through Kenma's body. Hunger be damned, there was an entire village full of WOMEN!_

_He shot to his feet. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's GO-GO-GO!" Kenma exclaimed, jogging down the path in an instant. "C'mon, slowpokes! I'm so far ahead!~" he sang cheerfully._

_Ranko didn't seem too surprised-Kenma never cared much about fighting, just women and art-but Genma's mouth hung open. Where had any of this energy or dedication been all this time? Sure, he'd swam on the way to China, but that was mostly because the sharks were after him…_

_"Where does he get that energy from?!" was written on Genma's sign._

_Ranko rolled her eyes. "Isn't it obvious? The Amazonian women are what drives Kenma's energy. Hell, all women drive his energy."_

_Ranko let out a sigh. "Well, I guess it'd be a good idea to catch up with Kenma before he does something stupid again." She shuddered at their most recent situation dealing with girls and Kenma._

_Ranko casually strolled into the village as Genma made slow progress, due to the depletion of his energy._

_ She walked into the center of the village where she saw some fight going on._

_"Oh, this looks interesting," Ranko murmured to herself. "Looks like a fighting competition."_

_Ranko's eyes roamed the crowd in search of Kenma when a big pile of food caught her attention._

_"Well, whaddya know?" Ranko said to herself as she subtly walked over to the enormous pile of food, her mouth watering. "Glorious food left unguarded."_

_She picked up a sliced watermelon. "Don't mind if I do!" Just as Ranko was about to sink her teeth into the succulent watermelon, she heard screaming. More specifically, she heard Kenma screaming._

_"AHHHHH!" Kenma screamed from somewhere in the crowd. "SOMEONE HELP ME!"_

_Ranko instantly dropped her watermelon. "That sounds like Kenma. Kenma needs help," Ranko thought to herself as she quickly rushed over to where the screaming was coming from, panic slowly consuming her. "Oh, please, let Kenma be okay. If someone hurt him, I'll make sure they'll pay!"_

_Ranko finally reached the epicenter of the screams. There, to her horror, laid Kenma. Although he possessed on visible serious injury, his arms were severely bruised and Kenma was clutching his head as if something hard had hit him. And if Ranko was correct, Kenma had passed out from the shock of the blow._

_Standing above him was a smirking purple-haired girl. She held a pair of chui in her hands as she looked down at Kenma._

_"That what you get for being too-too foolish and attack innocent girl Shampoo," the purple haired girl said, raising her chui to bring down the final blow on Kenma's head._

_"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" Ranko yelled as she kicked Shampoo backwards to aid the senseless Kenma. Satisfied with her attack, Ranko knelt down to check Kenma for any injuries._

_"Are ya OK?" Ranko asked, clutching her brother's battered body closely. Unfortunately, being in such close proximity to Ranko's chest caused Kenma's body temperature to skyrocket._

_This, in turn, left the boy's face as red as his own hair. Kenma blinked back into consciousness as he suddenly realized he was being hugged into Ranko's bosom, and subsequently crab-walked backwards, despite the pain he was very clearly in._

_"I think so…" Kenma replied, suppressing a grunt of agony. "S-see? F-fit as a...fiddle-AGH! Fuck, this hurts!"_

_"Alright, let's get you outta here," Ranko said as she reached for Kenma's hand. Before she could reach Kenma, Shampoo popped out of nowhere. Ranko stopped midway to Kenma and glared at Shampoo. She returned the gesture and glared right back._

_"You stop me attack this boy," said Shampoo in her broken Japanese. "Why?"_

_"Cuz he was defenseless; and there's no honor in attackin' someone who can't fight back," replied Ranko. "Plus, he's my brother."_

_In the blink of an eye, Shampoo seemed to vanish, but she then appeared right in front of Ranko. Her speed caused the red-headed girl to flinch, stumbling back a few steps._

_'What does this girl want?' Ranko thought to herself as she got into a fighting stance. Naturally, she expected her to attack; so Ranko was utterly dumbstruck when the purple-haired girl kissed her on the cheek. Ranko touched the cheek she was kissed on, looking at Shampoo in awe and shock._

_An audible gasp could be heard from the audience._

_"W-what was t-that for?" stuttered Ranko, her face turning bright red._

_"She give you 'kiss of death,'" said the Tour Guide, his hands open as if praying. "She make promise to hunt you to end of earth to avenge humiliation she felt. I pray for you."_

_"W-what?!" exclaimed Ranko as her hands morphed into the iconic shaka hand gesture._

_With a loud battle cry, Shampoo began charging towards Ranko. Left with no time to think, she began fighting the purple-haired girl. The two combatants began exchanging blows, neither of them giving an inch of ground. Ranko suddenly dropped to the floor, and performed a sweep-kick that knocked Shampoo off her feet and landed her flat on her back._

_"That oughta teach ya for pickin' on defenseless knuckleheads who dunno any better," Ranko had scoffed, before picking her brother up. "Now, c'mon. We better scram before Chun-Li there gets up, or before th' old man does anything stupid...or rather, before he acts like himself."_

_Kenma chuckled. "G-good one…" he managed to say, a bloody smile crossing his face._

_"Just...save your strength, wouldja?" Ranko told her brother, before they saw Panda-Genma and the tour guide running behind them. "Dammit, pops, what'd ya do NOW?"_

_Genma simply roared in a clueless manner, while the Tour Guide explained._

_"Panda eat Amazons' prize feast. Now Amazons pissed at panda." he replied. "They send Shampoo to hunt you both down."_

_It was true, because the purple-haired girl was coming after them with the speed of a cheetah and the force of a Mack truck._

_Needless to say, it was like that for three more weeks; everywhere they went in China, Shampoo somehow tracked them down. Fortunately, they managed to lose her before they returned to Nerima...at least, they THOUGHT that they did…_

~**END OF FLASHBACK**~

* * *

"Y'mean you have a hired killer coming after you?!" exclaimed Ryoko.

"Pretty much," Kenma replied. "At least Akane's cute...that Shampoo almost split my head open like a cantaloupe! She's the one girl who I'm actually terrified of!"

"So what do we do?" asked Akane. "She's still after Ranko, and won't leave until she finds her!"

"And apparently you two only got away due to acting fast," Ryoko added. "Not like you guys can keep this up for the rest of your lives…"

The four teenagers stood in the hallway, thinking of ways to get Shampoo to stop chasing Ranko and Kenma.

"That's it!" Ranma exclaimed, snapping his fingers.

The others turned to look at the cursed boy.

"What's up, brother?" Kenma asked.

"Why don't we offer something to Shampoo? Something that will definitely stop her from chasing us?"

"Go on..."

"How about we offer up Pops to her? I mean, sure, I may be the one who fought her, but Shampoo started the fight. But Pops, he just ate the food for the winner of that tournament without winning."

"I understand your logic," Akane interjected. "But do you REALLY think that Shampoo would accept Genma as compensation for not being able to kill the two of you?"

The two brothers looked at each other and shrugged.

"It's worth a shot," replied Ranma.

"And this way, we get rid of one major problem!" added Kenma. "We're finally gonna get rid of that good-for-nothing bastard we call 'father!'"

"Frankly, I don't see anything wrong with this plan." Ranma nodded. "So we throw the panda-man under the bus?"

"Yep," Kenma winked. "...this is usually right when someone says that we shouldn't do something like that to our dad, and that we should respect him more, or some hooey."

"But do we care?" questioned Ranma, looking towards Kenma. "No, we don't care! We're gonna get rid of that lard-ass once and for all!"

"Amen to that!" exclaimed Kenma, as he and his brother danced around with glee.

Their celebrations were cut short upon hearing a door slam open. The four teenagers turned to the open door where a bleary-eyed Nabiki emerged from.

Suddenly Nabiki manifested a demon head, much like Soun can do on some occasions, and glared at the quartet of teenagers.

"Could you guys get ANY louder?!" screeched Nabiki, causing the teens to cower in fear. "Some people are trying to sleep!"

"Sorry, we'll be quieter," said Ranma hastily, trying to defuse the situation.

Nabiki rubbed her eyes. "I'll let you go this one time," she began as a sigh of relief escaped from Ranma's mouth. "BUT if there are any more disturbances to my sleep, someone will be paying an enormous fine. You understand?"

"Yup," Ranma replied, letting out a nervous chuckle.

"Good," Nabiki said. She turned around and returned to her room, closing the door behind her.

"Well, I guess even Nabiki is a bit cute when she's mad…" Kenma muttered. "At least when she's not scheming…"

He was immediately silenced when confronted by Akane's piercing glare.

"...b-but of course, she's not as cute as you, Akane-_hime_!" Kenma quickly added, sweat beading on his brow. "As if anyone could be! ...so, we're still going through with this, right?"

Ranma gave a thumbs-up. "Hell yeah."

With that, Ranma rushed down the stairs in the direction of the dojo, Kenma right behind him.

Akane and Ryoko looked at each as if questioning each other "should we go?" Both girls were skeptical about the plan but neither wanted to be left behind.

After a moment of hesitation, the two girls rushed down the stairs towards the dojo. There, in front of the dojo, stood a dumbstruck Kenma and an angry-looking Ranma.

Akane was puzzled to see the two boys in such a state. That is, at least until she took a look inside the dojo. There, in the middle, laid the bodies of her father and Genma, battered and bruised, almost beyond recognition. However, an important person to Ranma's plan was missing.

"Well, it seems like that the purple-haired girl has escaped," Ryoko stated. "And you don't know where she is." She gave the two brothers a sympathetic pat on the back. "Tough luck, you guys. Better luck next time."

The two brothers both collapsed in exasperation.

"All that work ...all that planning...and for nothing!" Kenma groaned.

"What a massive waste!" Ranma groused. "I can't believe our scheme was burst before it began!"

"Well, I wouldn't say your plan was a waste," Akane said.

"And why is that?" Ranma asked, glowering at Akane.

"Hey, I'm not here to pick a fight," Akane responded, raising up her hands in surrender. "I'm just trying to give you my honest opinion why you didn't fail. Yet."

"C'mon, Ranma, let's hear Akane-_hime_ out," Kenma said in a soothing tone.

Ranma let out a resigned sigh. "Fine, what do ya have ta say?"

"Well, Shampoo's mission was to hunt the three of you to the ends of the earth, correct?"

Ranma and Kenma nodded in unison.

"And she only found Genma and not the two of you."

Again, the Saotome brothers nodded.

"Which means Shampoo is probably going to stay in town until all three of you are captured and killed."

Realization hit the brothers.

"Oh man, you're right!" Ranma exclaimed. "So this could be another chance to get her off our backs!"

"When ya put it that way…" Kenma realized. "I guess our plan isn't kaput just yet!"

**Next time: _The Plan is Enacted!_**


	6. Shampoo's Choice

**Tale #6**

"**_The Truth Revealed at Last! Shampoo's Decision…?_"**

**The Cast:**

**JOHN CAMPBELL **as Ranma

**RICK JONES **as Kenma

**MICHAEL O'REILLY **as Ryoga

**MIRIAM SIROIS **as Akane

**CATHY WESELUCK **as Shampoo

**NOTE: **_**I put the cast and characters because I like to. And I'll keep doing it cuz I wanna.**_

* * *

"We need to lure Shampoo out somehow," Kenma declared, racking his brain. "Clearly using Genma as bait was a bust, since I doubt she'll fall for the same ploy a second time."

"And I gotta get even with her!" Ranma added. "She'll never leave us alone until she gets her final confrontation!"

"Maybe you guys should wait until tomorrow to work out your plan," suggested Akane. "Besides, it's pretty late, and it wouldn't do you much good if you fought Shampoo without any rest."

"...well, I can't argue with that…" Kenma yawned. "If we have to face Shampoo without any sleep, she'll kill us with ease! Maybe I'll get an idea in my dreams or something…"

"Yeah, maybe dreams on how to seduce her..." muttered Ranma.

"Hey, I heard that, smartass! Like I'd want anything to do with that psycho broad!" exclaimed Kenma, raising his fists. "Lookin' to get yours kicked?!"

"Bring it on, horndog!" Ranma responded, getting into a fighting stance.

"Alright, that's enough, you two," interjected Ryoko. "Just go to sleep and stop fighting over such trivial matters."

"Yes, ma'am!" said Kenma as he turned around and left the dojo. Ranma, however, stood there and glared at Ryoko.

"Who died an' made _you _the boss?" asked Ranma, headstrong as usual.

"Why do _YOU _have to be such a pig-headed, stubborn jerk?" Ryoko replied. "It wouldn't hurt you to at least take the advice you're given. And why pick fights with your brother, even though he doesn't have any fighting know-how? You two need to settle whatever issues you have with each other; otherwise Shampoo will be able to kill you both without breaking a sweat!"

"Fine, point conceded," grumbled Ranma. "Although, in my opinion, Kenma deserved that one comment I said. He's always been chasing girls ever since middle school and, well, let's just say that he chose the wrong girls to chase."

"Well, he wouldn't be stupid enough to try and chase after that purple-haired punk," Ryoko replied. "_Especially _not after she tried to murder him! He's got more sense than that, even if he doesn't seem like it."

"Oh-kay, enough, you two," Akane said as she stepped in between the two defiant teens, trying to act as the diplomat. "It's very late now and you're acting on emotions rather than rational thinking. Just go to sleep and we'll pick up this conversation in the morning. After all, tomorrow's Sunday."

Ranma turned to glare at Ryoko, ready to snap back at her, but the look in her eyes stopped him. They seemed to say, _i__f you even think of yelling back at me, I'll ensure you suffer a torment worse than_ _death_. Ranma faltered upon witnessing that look and decided that it would be better to back down. No point wasting his energy on an unnecessary squabble.

"Ok, you win," Ranma said, raising his hands up in surrender. "I'll go to sleep."

With that, he promptly turned around and walked down the hallway and up the stairs to his shared bedroom with Kenma.

Akane had a confused expression on her face. "Am I missing something?" she asked Ryoko. "I was so sure that he'd shoot his mouth off at me or you."

"Well, I just encouraged him to not be so hard on Kenma," explained Ryoko. "Besides, it's unfair to think he'd be so idiotic to crush on the same girl who tried to murder him. My brother told me that while Kenma might seem like a clueless casanova, he's got a good heart and a passionate soul. From what I can see, he genuinely cares about you. So you'd be smart to hold onto him."

Akane paused for a few minutes. "I'll agree with you that Kenma is a nice person and whatnot, but I'm not looking for romance or a relationship just yet. And, besides, I've only known him for five or six weeks. How do I know that he's a good person if I've only known him for such a short time?"

"Maybe you could get to know him for a little longer, then. Start slow and build up, you know?" asked Ryoko. "Besides, better to spend time with someone who actually _LIKES _you, rather than somebody who's always insulting ya. And nothing says you have to marry him, you can just start a relationship with him on your own terms. Consider it a way of getting back at your dad for unwillingly enlisting you into this crazy engagement."

"Well...I suppose I could give it a shot. In fact, I'm going to ask him on a date tomorrow!"

Ryoko chuckled to herself internally. _Consider this my way of saying thanks, Ken-kun…_

* * *

_Kenma looked around in his surroundings. It looked like he was alone in a beautiful park. All alone with Akane, of course. The sun was shining, with nary a single cloud in the sky. It was the perfect day for his special announcement._

"_Hello, Akane-hime," Kenma said, greeting Akane as he kissed her hand. "Beautiful day we're having."_

"_Yes, you're right about that," Akane replied, looking at the scenery ahead of them. There was a whole field of flowers of every kind; roses, tulips, lilies, daisies, all the flowers you could think of._

_Akane watched the flowers with awe and fascination._

"_I take it that you love flowers, Akane-hime?" asked Kenma._

"_Yes, I suppose you could say that," Akane responded, not once taking her eyes off the flowers. "My mother loved flowers. From what I remember, she always used to put up a new bouquet of flowers everyday. 'Nature's blessing,' she would say. 'You should cherish it with all your heart.' And so I cherish these flowers that my mother dearly loved."_

"_What is your favorite flower?" Kenma asked, yearning to learn more about Akane._

"_The Black Beauty Rose is my favorite. Something about its color is so mesmerizing."_

"_Ah, just like your name," Kenma replied, a smile etched on his face. "Your name means 'deep red' and the Black Beauty Rose is a very deep shade of red."_

_Akane grinned. "Aw, you saw right through me."_

_Kenma let out a soft chuckle. "I still think it was pretty clever of you."_

"_Yeah." Akane looked back at the sea of flowers._

_Kenma was starting to sweat. "It's now or never," he thought to himself._

"_Hey, Akane-hime, I have a question to ask you."_

_Akane turned to a serious looking Kenma. "Yeah, what's up?"_

"_Akane-hime," Kenma started. "Would you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?"_

_Silence consumed the two as Akane pondered the question._

_After a moment (that felt like an eternity to Kenma), Akane reached a conclusion._

"_I'm sorry, Kenma," Akane said sadly. "I'm afraid that I don't love you like that."_

_In that moment, Kenma's heart shattered, and his face went pale. The girl of his dreams just rejected him! What was he supposed to do? The world seemed to shatter around him, as he tumbled end over end into a seemingly-bottomless void…_

* * *

Kenma woke up in a cold sweat. He was breathing heavily in the dark. It's a miracle that his lungs didn't burst from all the air he was inhaling.

_It was only a dream… _Kenma thought, relief flowing through his body. He took deep breaths to calm himself down. _Akane-hime hasn't rejected me in real life. I still have a chance!_

Kenma looked at the digital clock between him and Ranma. "3:07 AM, huh?" Kenma mumbled to himself. He readjusted his position on the futon and tried to go to sleep. But, try as he might, he couldn't fall asleep.

_Man, I've been doing this for ten minutes now! What good am I gonna be tomorrow if I don't get my rest? _Kenma let out a sigh. _I hear milk helps people sleep. Maybe I should get a glass of milk…_

After a minute of internal debate, Kenma got up, stepped over Ranma, and out the bedroom door.

It was mostly dead silent in the hallway...except for the sound of Genma's snoring coming from the other room.

_Man, I hope no ghosts pop up, _Kenma thought to himself, unnerved by the quiet. Then he started chuckling. _Who am I kidding? I'm 16 years old now! There's no such thing as ghosts!... Or are there…?_

Kenma decided not to take any chances and bolted down the stairs and into the dining room.

_Okay, now I'm safe... _he took in deep breaths to calm himself again. Once his heart beat had returned to normal, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a tall glass. He rummaged through the fridge in search of a carton of milk.

"Ah, there it is," he said to himself as he triumphantly grabbed a carton of milk in the back of the fridge.

He poured himself a glass and put it in the microwave. Following 1 minute and 20 seconds, Kenma waited for it to cool a bit, then he drank it down.

"Ah, that hits the spot," he declared, pouring himself another glass of milk and microwaving that one too.

After his second glass, Kenma closed the cap on the milk carton and put it back in the fridge. Then, he took the glass he used and washed it in the sink before letting it dry inside of the dishwasher.

_Now to get some sleep…_ he declared, heading back up the stairs. On his way back to the guest room, Kenma passed by the furo...but then backed up as he noticed that the door was opened partway.

"Somebody's probably inside…" he muttered as he approached the doorway...and was shocked to witness Ryoko, in the furo, turning on the warm water. "I guess Ryoko is washin' off the sweat from today's...wait a second….is that….R-RYOGA?!"

It was no illusion; there, in the furo where Ryoko had been, was Ryoga, soaking in the warm water.

Just as the bandanna-wearing boy was losing himself in the warmth of the furo, the door burst open, and Kenma stood in the doorway, causing Ryoga to nearly jump right out of his skin, turning white with fright.

"So, it IS you!" Kenma exclaimed. "You went to that Jusenkyo place, didn't you?! That would explain why you changed into such a hot girl! Oh, good god...I actually considered dating you!" his face turned pale with shock at the realization.

"Hehehe," Ryoga chuckled out of embarrassment. "Yeah, I did go to Jusenkyo… and picked up this curse… But wait..." He turned to look at Kenma. "Did you just call me 'hot'?"

Kenma's face went red. "W-well, yeah; did you even _see _yourself in a mirror as Ryoko?" he asked.

Ryoga took a look at himself as a smile crossed his lips. "Well, I know that I'm irresistible, but I didn't expect to catch the attention of the lover-boy supreme himself!" he chuckled, smirking at his friend. "And to think, you actually considered asking out little old me!"

"Oh, shaddup! Leave me alone!" Kenma practically yelled as he covered his face, which was now completely red. _Embarrassing, embarrassing!, _he thought over and over again.

Ryoga let out a hearty laugh. "Aw, relax, Kenma. I know you didn't know that I was Ryoko. I was gonna say something earlier, but you know how well THAT turned out."

"Yeah," replied Kenma. Suddenly, he started getting tense. He had the odd feeling that someone was watching him. _Is it Nabiki? _he thought, terror running through his body as he vividly remembered his encounter with the Ice Queen not too long ago. His eyes darted about the room, ever suspicious.

"I think we should crank it down to a dull roar," he whispered to Ryoga, looking over his back to make sure Nabiki wasn't there… or any ghosts. "Don't wanna disrupt anyone's sleep...or let them know anything that we wouldn't want 'em knowing."

"Hmm," Ryoga said, nodding his head in agreement. "You're right. I don't wanna let anyone else know about my curse just yet."

"Especially not Nabiki..." Kenma muttered under his breath. After all, she was known for blackmailing people, and Kenma didn't want to see Ryoga being exploited by her.

"Pardon?" Ryoga asked, putting his hand behind his ear. "I didn't catch that."

"Nevermind," Kenma said, shaking his head. "You don't need to know yet."

"Well, alright. I guess I'll finish up here..." Ryoga replied as he was about to climb out of the tub.

Kenma turned his head and put up his hand to make sure he didn't get an eyeful of Ryoga's package. "Yeah, I do _not _need that sight scarring me for the rest of my adolescent life, thank you very much!" he whispered.

Ryoga noticed this reaction and let out a small laugh. "Oh, c'mon on now, Ken-kun. Don't tell me you're embarrassed to see what I've got?"

Kenma didn't say anything as his face went bright red. His silence spoke volumes.

"C'mon, we're both boys!" Ryoga laughed. "We've seen each other in the nude plenty of times before now. I mean, we have to take a bath somehow, right?"

"J-just shut up...!" Kenma replied in an exasperated tone. "Stop teasin' me like this! _You _might've looked, but I kept my eyes _above _the waist area!"

Ryoga continued chuckling to himself. It's been so long since he's hung out with Kenma, one of his best friends, and he couldn't stop teasing him. Like they used to do, not so long ago. He let out a deep sigh. Oh, how he longed to go back to simpler times, where he could spend his time with Kenma, doing mindless things for fun and the sort.

But of course his bad sense of direction had to get in the way, and Kenma's lousy excuse for a parent got in _his _way.

"Anyways, clean up in here before you leave, alright?" Kenma said, snapping Ryoga back into reality.

"I will," Ryoga replied as he grabbed a towel.

Satisfied with Ryoga, Kenma turned to leave the furo.

"Wait," Ryoga called out, remembering something from the previous night. "I have something to tell you."

Kenma turned to Ryoga. "Yes?"

"Well-" Ryoga stopped short. _Should I tell him what Akane told me? If I do, then the secret is gone and Kenma will anticipate this date proposal. It might have more meaning to him if I keep this to myself… _

"Here's the thing," Ryoga continued, acting as if his previous pause was natural. "Akane has something to tell you."

Kenma's eyes widened in surprise. "Akane-_hime?_"

Ryoga nodded.

"Oh boy, I wonder what it is." Kenma turned to Ryoga with hopeful eyes. "Can you tell me what she has to say?"

"Nope," Ryoga responded, making a motion of zipping his lips to signify that he wasn't telling Kenma the secret. "All I can tell you is that she has some appointment that concerns you. The context of this appointment will be revealed to you sometime in the morning."

Kenma snapped his fingers in defeat. "Aw, phooey...but I guess you're right; sometimes the best things are worth waiting for…" he relented. "Might just be more fun finding out for myself! Night, Ryoko. See ya tomorrow!"

And so, with that, the ginger-headed Romeo made his way back to the guest bedroom, with Ryoga watching.

The bandanna-wearing boy gave a small smile. _Thanks for keeping my secret, Ken._

And with that, he began getting his clothes back on.

The next afternoon, Kenma was at the ice-cream store with Akane; apparently, she'd asked him if he'd wanted to hang out and take things slow between them, and he had readily accepted this. As long as he got to spend time with Akane, it was fine with him.

"_This is so surreal… "_ Kenma thought as he recalled the events from that morning.

* * *

**_~Flashback~_**

"_Kenma, wake up!"_

"_Hmm.. " Kenma responded. "Five mo' minutes..."_

_Who's trying to wake me up? thought an annoyed Kenma._

"_You're gonna miss breakfast! And the ol' man is gonna eat yours!"_

_I recognize that voice…. _

_Realizing that he would not get the five extra minutes he wanted, Kenma woke up. Through bleary eyes, he saw Ranko's face a few inches away from his own face. And for Kenma, that was a few inches too close._

"_Gyaaah!" Kenma screamed, jumping out of his futon. Any feelings of sleepiness that were in his body evaporated into thin air._

"_How rude~" Ranko pouted coquettishly. "Is that anyway to react to your sibling tryin' to wake you up?"_

"_Sorry..." Kenma said, trying to calm down his racing heart. "It's just that you were so close to my face! It startled me!"_

_Ranko shook her head. "What am I gonna do with you?"_

_Kenma got up from his position on the floor and began folding up his futon. Ranko watched as he made quick work to put away the pillows and blankets the two had used during the night._

"_Say," Kenma said, breaking the silence. "Why are you in your cursed form?"_

"_Hmm.. " Ranko said, looking down at her body. She was, in fact, in her female form. "I dunno. I woke up like this. Maybe I'd gone to the restroom and washed my hands and didn't realize I triggered my own transformation?"_

"_I see. Well, let's go get some breakfast. We'd better get into the dining room before that lardass devours all our food."_

"_You said it," agreed Ranko, opening the bedroom door. "C'mon, let's go!"_

_And so both siblings made their way down the stairs, hoping to beat their father so he didn't get a headstart on eating their food._

_Fortunately, the boys managed to beat Genma to the breakfast table, since he was still smarting from his beatdown the previous night._

"_Good morning," Kenma called out as he entered the dining room. Seated at the table were Akane and Nabiki. Kasumi was still bringing the food from the kitchen._

"_Good morning," she replied as she entered the dining room. "I see that you've all had a good night's rest."_

"_Yep, I slept like a log."_

"_Glad to hear that." Kasumi beamed brightly._

_Just then, Ryoga entered the dining room. "Good morning..." he mumbled as he was still half-asleep._

"_Oh, so good to see you, Ryoga," Kasumi told their breakfast guest in her usual cheerful way. "Your sister Ryoko was here last night, though she left this note saying she'd be happy to come and help Akane train for the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics tournament."_

"_Well, Ryoko is always willing to help a friend in need," Ryoga replied as he sat down and began eating._

_Ranma looked at him suspiciously. "When did you get here?"_

"_This morning," Ryoga replied as he began inhaling the rice in front of him._

_Ranma turned to Kasumi. "You knew that Ryoga was coming over?"_

"_Why, of course," Kasumi responded. "Ryoko mentioned that Ryoga might come looking for her. She asked me to provide him some food and whatnot before he left again."_

"_Hmm… " Ranma said. While he didn't press Kasumi for any more details, he was still suspicious of Ryoga._

"_Anyways, Kenma; if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you something," Akane spoke up. "..in private, actually."_

_Kenma's eyes widened, as he nearly choked on his grilled fish; taking a gulp of miso soup to wash it down, he glanced at Ryoga, who gave him a thumbs-up. _

"_Oh! W-well, alright…" the boy replied, trying not to seem too eager. "That would be fine."_

_And so, he and Akane got to their feet and went into the hallway, while the others proceeded to eavesdrop on their conversation._

"_So…" Kenma asked. "What was your question, Akane?"_

"_Well...I was wondering," Akane spoke up. "Would you want to go and get ice cream this afternoon together? Maybe start off slow and see how well it goes?"_

_Normally, Kenma would've been over the moon with excitement about this news; this time, however, he decided to turn down the intensity._

"_You know what?" he asked. "That sounds like fun."_

_Akane smiled. "Great, we'll head out at noon. Consider it a date!" she replied as she walked off, leaving Kenma standing by himself in the hallway._

_For a good three minutes, Kenma didn't even move...he just stood still, as he was slowly processing what had just happened._

_And then...as it finally dawned on him, his mouth curled into a wide ecstatic grin._

"_EEE-YAHOO! WHOOPEE! YEE-HAW!" he cheered with glee as he leapt up and down. "I got a date with Akane! I got a date with Akane!~"_

"_Well, this is certainly interesting," Nabiki commented, a devilish smile on her face. "Maybe I can profit off this fascinating turn of events… "_

"_Oh my, Akane sure has grown up. She must have given up on Dr. Tofu to ask you out on a date," said a surprised Kasumi. "Maybe she has feelings for you?"_

"_Congratulations Kenma, you sly dog!" exclaimed Ryoga as he walked up to the boy and wrapped him in a hug. "You finally got a date with a girl! I knew they couldn't resist your charm for long!"_

_Out of the five of them, Ranma was the only one who looked suspicious. "First it was Ryoga this morning...Then Akane asked Kenma out for a date. Something fishy's definitely goin' on..."_

**_END OF FLASHBACK_**

* * *

Ranma was _still _racking his brain when he and Ryoga were outside the ice-cream place, while Kenma and Akane were inside, getting their own cones.

"Ah, look at Kenma. 16 years old and out on his first date!" exclaimed Ryoga, getting a little teary-eyed. "Oh, he's growing up so fast."

Ranma turned to look at Ryoga. "You're not his dad, ya know. Don't say such things about Ken. It's embarrassing. Also, why are you following him?"

"I could ask you the same question," retorted Ryoga. "And at least I'm actually a better person to him than his so-called father, by the way. Can't a guy be happy for his best friend and follow behind to make sure nothing goes wrong?"

"Hmmm… " Ranma said in response. "Ya know, I can't shake the feeling that something's not right. First your sister showed up last night. Then outta nowhere Kodachi appeared and attempted to fight Akane. Then Shampoo showed up, and then you came back, this morning, not to mention Akane askin' Kenma out on a date!"

Ryoga shrugged. "I can't quite say I can explain Kodachi, because who can, really? As for the other things: the Hibiki family's poor sense of direction takes us on mysterious paths; Shampoo must've figured out a way to track you; and I figure that with all this insanity happening, your brother deserves at least a _little _happiness in his life."

"I'm telling you, something's gonna go wrong. And not just because of Kodachi and Shampoo. Akane may seem nice and all at first glance, but she can get seriously pissed if you do or say something she doesn't like. And Kenma, well, you know how he is with girls: always flirting and whatnot. Kenma's gonna get hurt from a lot of different angles if he doesn't control what he says."

"Well, Akane must have _some_ attraction for Kenma to ask him on a date," Ryoga offered. "I don't think he's gonna get hurt from talking to Akane because she must have accepted him by now. Don't you at least trust your own brother to make these kinds of decisions? I mean, he's a total lover-boy, but at least he's nothing like your old man."

"I guess you're right," Ranma responded, feeling a lot better about the date than he was moments ago. "Maybe I was worried about nothin'!"

"But we should still watch over him. Anything can happen," Ryoga cautioned.

Just then, a loud rumbling sound was heard; both boys glanced upward to see the roof of the ice cream place cracking open like an eggshell. And through the massive hole in the rooftop, there came Shampoo, armed with her _chui_, and a fiery temper.

"Anything like _that_?" asked Ranma.

"Yup, more or less," Ryoga nodded without missing a beat.

"Zhū wěi hóng fā zài nǎlǐ? [_Where is the pig-tailed redhead?_]" she asked in traditional Chinese. "Dài tā chūqù, hǎo ràng wǒmen zhōngyú jiějuéle! [_Bring her out, so we can settle this at last!_]"

(**NOTE: **_The reason Shampoo's translated Chinese dialogue isn't made up of broken English is because she understands Chinese better, only having a rudimentary knowledge of Japanese._)

The ice-cream place's patrons screamed and ran out the doors, while Ranma and Ryoga easily slipped inside during the commotion.

"Hǎo? Nǐ méi tīngdào wǒ shuōhuà ma? [_Well? Did you not hear me?!_]" asked the angry Chinese Amazon. " Bǎ dài biàn zi de hóng fā gěi wǒ! Wǒ zhīdào tā zài zhèlǐ... Xiànzài dài tā lái! _[Bring me the pigtailed redhead! I know she is here...now bring her!_]"

"I heard ya been looking for me," said Ranma, as he and Ryoga stood firm within the dining area. "And well...I've never been the type to disappoint a lady."

The purple-haired girl gave a catty smirk. "Suǒyǐ, nǐ zhǎnxiàn zìjǐ, [_So, you've revealed yourself,_]" she remarked, before switching to Japanese. "You not red-head girl, true. But you in same house as greedy panda, and you seem to know stupid ginger-head boy. Perhaps if Shampoo rough you up, then pig-tailed girl maybe come out and face me."

Ranma shot a piercing glare at Shampoo. "Well, better be careful; she might just be closer than you think..." he remarked, as he took his stance.

* * *

Before all this, Kenma was enjoying his time with Akane in the ice cream parlour. It was so surreal and overwhelming that Kenma started doubting himself.

_This is just a dream… this is just a dream… you'll wake up in a few moments, _Kenma kept saying over and over again in his mind.

"Hey Kenma!" shouted Akane, bringing him back to reality. "Are you okay?"

At this moment, Kenma realized this wasn't a dream. And now he was overjoyed.

"Oh, Akane-_hime, _" Kenma said, grabbing her hands. "Thank you for inviting me to this ice parlour."

"Um, you're welcome?" replied Akane, in a questioning tone. She was still new to this.

"It makes me so happy to be out with you today!" Kenma continued. "I'm not worthy to bask in your presence...and yet, here I am!"

"Don't say such things, Kenma," Akane blushed. "It's kind of embarrassing, frankly…"

"But I _am _curious…" Kenma replied. "Why did you ask me out on a date today?"

Akane looked uncertain for a brief moment before she spoke.

"Well, it's just that you seem like a nice person," Akane started, fidgeting with her hands. "And so I want to advance our relationship. NOT as a couple, but as friends. Also, this way I fulfill my dad's agreement of an arranged marriage between your family and my family. And who knows? We _might_ end up together in the future."

By the time Akane was finished, she was beet red. So was Kenma. In his eyes, Akane just confessed her love for him and he couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"Do you really mean that?" whispered Kenma, wanting to believe that Akane confessed to him.

"Yes," Akane replied in a small voice. "Besides, I would rather have a relationship with someone who actually likes than someone who insults me."

Kenma let out a laugh. "Yeah, Ranma just can't keep his mouth shut."

"Hmm… " Akane said in agreement, a small smile gracing her face before going serious again. "Kenma, what do you think of me? What are your feelings for me?"

"Ummm…." Kenma started, his palms getting sweaty. He has always practiced confessing his undying love to Akane in his dreams, but it was a lot harder in reality. "Well, Akane-_hime, _you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. You look good in whatever you wear. And your feisty personality, it's quite refreshing. You know what you want and you're not afraid to fight for it. All in all, I think I like you… "

Kenma trailed off as he was too embarrassed to continue.

Akane was left sitting across from him, blushing from the compliments he gave her and his confession. It made her feel…. happy…. and confused. "_What should I do?"_

"You really mean it?" Akane asked, blushing.

_Waah! She's so cute! _Kenma thought in his head, trying to calm himself down.

"Yes, Akane-_hime_. I mean it. With all my heart."

A companionable silence consumed the two teenagers.

"I'm so happy to hear that," Akane said, breaking the silence, a huge smile plastered on her face. "I'm really happy."

"Good to hear," Kenma said, letting out a sigh before he flashed a smile at her. "Man, that was stressful."

"You're telling me? This is the first time I've done such a thing!"

The two laughed together and smiled. They enjoyed each other's company.

"So," Kenma said once he stopped laughing. "You want to give this relationship a shot?"

Akane pondered the question.

"Yes, I want to give this relationship a shot," she finally responded.

Relief washed over Kenma's body...followed by overwhelming joy. "TEYANDEE! Akane-_hime _is now my girlfriend!" he exclaimed, leaping triumphantly into the air.

"Hey," said a stern voice. "Who said that I was your girlfriend?"

Kenma gulped, as he fell to the ground like a rock. "B-but you just agreed on being in a relationship..." he stated.

"Yes, a relationship as friends, not a relationship where we are a couple," Akane said, cracking her knuckles.

"Gwaah! Please have mercy on me!" Kenma said, groveling before Akane.

Akane let out a laugh. "Ah, Kenma, I was just playing with you. You really thought I was gonna hurt you?"

"Ummm…" Kenma didn't have a response to that, though he felt rather silly.

"Anyways, we should finish eating our ice creams before they melt," Akane said, helping Kenma up. "We have got to get back home soon."

Now Kenma was confused. _Are we a couple or not? I need answers..._

Kenma cleared his throat.

"Say, Akane-_hime,_" he started once he had Akane's attention. "Are we-"

Suddenly, a loud crash could be heard. Kenma glanced up to the ceiling to see it nursing a gigantic hole that was obviously created by something.

Kenma and Akane turned their heads towards the source of said hole, and saw the purple-haired Chinese amazon standing there, weapons ready.

_Oh, crap...it's Shampoo…! _Kenma thought, as his face turned pale. _She's relentless, like a hunting dog!_

As Shampoo yelled angrily in Chinese, the patrons quickly exited the shop, leaving it nigh-empty, save for the current occupants.

Shortly after, it became clearer that both Ranma and Ryoga had entered the store, and both of them were ready for combat.

Shampoo scoffed, and tried to slam down her _chui _on Ranma's head, but Ryoga blocked the punch, and kicked the weapon out of Shampoo's left hand, sending it spinning into the air.

The amazon girl simply tried to smash Ryoga by swiping her 2nd _chui _at him, but he leapt out of the way. However, Shampoo didn't move quick enough herself, as she was completely caught by surprise when the left _chui _fell on her head, knocking her out like a light.

Kenma blinked. "...somehow, that was extremely underwhelming…" he remarked. "But at least she's not a threat to anybody like this…"

Ryoga was amazed. "Wow...I stopped her!" he exclaimed, a proud smile spreading over his face. "Damn, I'm good!"

"I coulda taken 'er," Ranma remarked. "She just caught me by surprise, is all."

"If you say so, Ranma," Ryoga replied with a shrug. "If you say so."

Just then, they both heard a groaning sound; Ranma and Ryoga glanced over to see that Shampoo was regaining consciousness, and slowly making her way over to Ryoga.

"Well?" he asked. "Are you hoping for a rematch?"

Shampoo merely smiled, but this time it looked different; it looked gentle and earnest. And this time, Ryoga was beginning to look nervous around her, almost...shy, even.

"_Wo ai ni_…" she spoke in Chinese, before she pressed her lips to Ryoga's, encasing them in a surprising lip-lock.

Akane and Ranma both did double-takes at the sight of that, and Kenma's jaw practically hit the ground.

_Well, the original plan was to get Shampoo to like Ranma...but this works better, honestly._

Ryoga looked at Shampoo in shock. "W-what was t-that for?" he stuttered, clutching his umbrella tightly. "I-is this s-some psychological a-attack? To get me off my guard?!"

"No. This kiss of marriage," Shampoo replied with a giggle.

"K-kiss of marriage…?" Ryoga managed to mumble, before his vision blurred, the room was beginning to spin, and foam bubbled up in his mouth as he suddenly collapsed on the ground in a faint.

"What wrong with him?" Shampoo asked, pointing at Ryoga.

"I think he's unconscious," replied Ranma as sweat drops formed on the heads of him, Kenma, and Akane.

"Too bad," Shampoo pouted. "I want him to be in me."

"I'm just going to pretend that I didn't hear that," Akane said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Kenma just chuckled at Shampoo's turn of phrase. _Way to go, buddy. I guess we BOTH win big today!_

"Anyways, what is this 'Kiss of marriage' you were talking about," Ranma asked. "I know about the 'Kiss of death,' but not this new kiss."

Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "How you know about 'Kiss of death'?" she questioned.

"Umm… " Ranma looked at Kenma for some support. Kenma, however, was having too much fun so he did the unthinkable. He uncapped a bottle of water that happened to be near him and threw it in the direction of Ranma, immediately splashing him and turning him into his cursed form.

"What the hell didja go an' do THAT for?!" Ranko shouted at her brother, as the purple-haired girl began to chuckle at the sight of her apparent victim. "Now she's gonna go all kill-crazy again!"

"Oh, relax, wouldja?" Kenma replied confidently. "I doubt her new beloved will even let her!"

Shampoo glanced at Kenma. "What stupid boy mean by that?"

"Well, if you must know," Kenma replied rather matter-of-factly. "Ranma happens to be my brother, and I'm Ryoga's best buddy! So if you hurt him, then that'd bum me out. And if I'm bummed out, then Ryoga would be bummed out too! And you wouldn't want your hubby-to-be being sad, now would you?"

Shampoo's smirk faded, and she sighed. If what Kenma was saying was true, then he really had her over a barrel.

"So, then, Shampoo," Kenma continued. "What are you gonna do?"


	7. Blazing Spirits and Rough Pasts

Chapter 7:

"_**Akane's Blazing Spirit! Kodachi Kuno's Rough Past**_"

**The Cast:**

**JOHN CAMPBELL **as Ranma Saotome

**RICK JONES **as Kenma Saotome

**TERRY SCAMMELL **as Ryoga Hibiki

**MIRIAM SIROIS **as Akane Tendo

**CATHY WESELUCK **as Shampoo

**TERYL ROTHERY **as Kodachi Kuno

**MICHAEL BELL **as Dr. Tofu

**MICHAEL O'REILLY **as Sasuke

* * *

Dr. Tofu was continuing to keep watch over his unexpected patient: one Kodachi Kuno, who had been dropped off at his office the previous night by Ranma.

He could still remember those events…

* * *

_~Flashback~_

_It was very late at night as Dr. Tofu was cleaning up his clinic, ready to close for the night._

"_Another day gone… " he thought to himself as he put some bandages and medicine in a cabinet. "Another boring day… "_

_Satisfied with his cleaning, Dr. Tofu went into his kitchen to prepare himself a small meal before going to sleep._

"_Hmmm… let's see what I have in the fridge," Dr. Tofu murmured. He opened the fridge which was almost empty save for a half full carton of milk, a container of leftover rice, a box full of chicken katsu, and a half full box of assorted berries._

"_Wow, I don't have much left," Tofu thought, letting out a sad sigh. "I better go shopping sometime this week, or I'm gonna run out of food."_

_Dr. Tofu grabbed the container of rice and box of chicken and placed them on the kitchen counter. He pulled out a plate and a spoon from the dishrack. After opening the containers, he spoon a small amount of rice and chicken katsu onto his plate before placing said plate into the microwave. He set the microwave on for about two minutes and a half._

_Satisfied with the task accomplished, Tofu closed the containers and placed them back in the fridge. He also placed the spoon in the sink, before grabbing a pair of chopsticks._

"_Chicken and rice… I've been having the same food for dinner for the past three nights…. " Tofu reached into his pocket and pulled out his most prized possession: a picture of Kasumi. "I wish I could have some of Kasumi's cooking… she's such an amazing cook… I'd do anything for her food… but I'm so awkward and weird… I could never ask her a simple question, let alone asking her about cooking for me!"_

_Dr. Tofu sighed to himself as he watched his food warm up. "What am I gonna do with myself? If I can't work up the nerve to ask a girl out...especially someone as wonderful as she is…then my mother will NEVER let me hear the end of it. Plus, being by myself isn't much fun; Betty is good company, but I need companionship that actually talks back..."_

_The microwave made a small BEEP noise, signaling that Dr. Tofu's food was done warming up._

_Tofu opened the microwave and, with careful hands, grabbed the plate and carried it to the small dining table in his kitchen._

_After setting the plate down, Tofu went to the kitchen sink and filled a glass with water. With a glass of water in hand, he went back to his food and sat down in a chair._

"_Time to eat!" Dr. Tofu said, clapping his hands before grabbing his chopsticks. He began devouring the rice when he heard a loud knock at his front door._

"_Hey, Doc! Ya in there?" asked a familiar voice._

_Tofu set his chopsticks down and rushed to the front doors of his clinic._

"_Who could be at my door this late at night?" he thought to himself._

_Finally, Tofu reached the front doors. He unlocked them and opened them. Standing in front of him was Ranma and with an unconscious girl on his back._

"_Hey, Doc," Ranma said as he stepped into the clinic, a sheepish smile on his face.. "Sorry for the intrusion."_

"_Ranma!" Tofu exclaimed, looking at the girl on his back with a wary eye. "What happened?"_

_Ranma let out a sigh. "I don't feel like tellin' ya everything that happened, so I'll give you the shorthand explanation. But first, lemme put 'er on the exam table."_

"_Go right ahead," said Tofu, gesturing his arm towards his office. With a curt nod, Ranma went into the office, Tofu right behind him._

_Once he had set the girl down on the examination table, Ranma sat down in a chair and let out a heavy sigh._

"_Man, carrying her all the way here was such a pain," Ranma said. "And not like Kenma was helpin' me out much."_

"_Oh?" asked Dr. Tofu. "Did he not help you?"_

"_No, he got all pissed cuz I said he was weak," Ranma replied. "Then he started asking that if he was so weak, why did I bring him along? ...I just wanted someone to talk to while I was on my way here..."_

"_Then you could've at least told him that, you know," Dr. Tofu explained. "I don't know what your father's been telling you, but bottling up your emotions and hiding them all behind some tough-guy exterior doesn't help you, it only distances you from the people who care about you. They're less likely to be impressed, and more likely to think of you as an insensitive jerk. So maybe you and Kenma should talk this out before you lose the only family member you have a genuine connection with."_

_Ranma turned his head down, and a small tear rolled down the side of his face. All his life, he'd had it drilled into his head that "martial artists don't reveal their true emotions", among other idiotic mentalities that his father believed in, like "ice cream and sweets are for women", and "pain only makes you stronger". But then again, his father also had a habit of yammering on about a martial artist's honor. Whatever Genma considered to be "honor" didn't seem to apply whenever he cheated during his sparring with Ranma...and this whole "fiancee" thing he worked out with Soun was just so he could shift most of his workload onto Ranma's back, and leech off the boy's hard work for the rest of his days._

"_...I'll be sure to consider that," the pig-tailed boy replied to the man, trying to hide his tear._

"_Now then," Tofu said, turning his attention to the girl on the examination table. "Who is this girl and what happened to her?"_

"_She's Kodachi Kuno," Ranma replied, answering Tofu's first question. "And she tried to attack and injure Akane not too long ago."_

"_And you fought her," said Tofu, shaking his head. "Couldn't you have resolved the dispute peacefully?"_

"_She was also tryin' to get Kenma. What could I do?"_

"_Point conceded. But what I'd like to know is just how she ended up in this state?" _

"_Well, I kinda sorta kicked her out the window," Ranma replied, suddenly interested with his fingers. "And she fell into the koi pond, where she promptly hit her head on one of the stones… "_

_Tofu looked at Ranma in disbelief. "Oh, kami, what am I going to do?" he said, rubbing his eyes. "This girl- Kodachi- could possibly be suffering from some sort of brain injury!"_

"_I'm sorry! But I couldn't let Kenma get hurt! So I reacted how I usually do." Ranma replied._

"_Just...honestly, Ranma…" Dr. Tofu groaned. "Well, hopefully, she isn't suffering from such injuries."_

"_That's the spirit!" Ranma exclaimed, getting up from his chair and giving Tofu a vigorous pat on the back. "Keep hopin' for the best!" his tone then turned serious. "Although I wouldn't mind if her personality changed; she wasn't too mentally-stable to begin with."_

"_Would you care to elaborate?" Tofu asked as he began tending to Kodachi's injuries._

"_Gladly. Let's see. The first time I met her was when me and Kenma were out eating some ice creams. As we were strolling down the street, we heard some fighting coming from an empty lot. Kodachi was fighting three of our classmates who do gymnastics. From what I understood, Kodachi said something to provoke those three classmates. Whatever the case, Kodachi brutally beat up those three girls, leaving them with serious injuries."_

"_Hmm… "_

"_So then Kenma and I stepped in to stop Kodachi… "_

"_I didn't know Kenma knew how to fight?" Tofu interjected._

"_He doesn't. But he still joined the fight. Anyways, Kodachi fell for Kenma on the spot and began chasing him as if he was some prize she could win. I stopped her with a blow from behind, but I didn't beat her. Then I realized that she was a Kuno. Kodachi took this to her advantage and escaped. But not before sprinkling ALL of us with paralysis powder."_

"_Ahh… now I see what you meant."_

_Ranma nodded. "And that is why I want her personality to change. And if this head injury does that, then fine by me."_

_Tofu let out a deep sigh. "Ranma, I understand how you feel, I really do. But you can't force someone to change how they act. You can only change their personality if the person in question wants to change." Tofu turned to look at Kodachi. "And if the personality of this girl changes due to this injury, then you can consider yourself lucky."_

"_Well, Doc," Ranma said, realizing NOW would be a great time to leave. "I guess I'll be heading back now. You should go to sleep. It's gonna take some time before she wakes up."_

"_After I finish treating her injuries and my late meal, I'll go to sleep."_

"_Good. And remember to be on guard when Kodachi wakes up. She can lash out at any moment."_

"_Aye, aye sir," Tofu said, saluting Ranma._

_Ranma gave Tofu a curt nod before heading towards the front door. "Cya, Doc."_

"_Wait, Ranma," Tofu called out, stopping the boy in question. "Could you ask Kasumi to send me some of her food?"_

_Ranma took a moment to process the question. Slowly, a grin grew on his face. _

"_Oh, you have the hots for Kasumi, eh?" Ranma asked, teasing Tofu._

_Dr. Tofu's face went red with surprise. "...what gave it away?"_

"_The fact that whenever you hear about or see her, you lose all sense of focus and start babbling like a doofus," Ranma replied. "Even if I got zero interest in romantics, it's obvious to me."_

_Dr. Tofu sighed. "Oh, I want to tell her...but every time I try, I get all...like you said, babbling like a doofus! It's like I forget what I wanna say!"_

"_Well, I can't really help you with that," Ranma started. "But I think Kenma can be of service to you. Think of him as your unofficial wingman from now on!"_

_Dr. Tofu was surprised at this. "R-really? Honest? I've never had a wingman before…"_

_Ranma let out a hearty laugh. "I'll talk to him. But knowing Kenma, he'll prob'ly accept being your wingman. He's been trying to help boost the romantic relationship between two individuals and you and Kasumi would be his first 'clients.'"_

"'_Clients?'"_

"_Anyways..." Ranma said in an attempt to change the subject. "I'll tell Kasumi about the food you wanted. And I'll also tell Kenma about being your wingman. That is, if I remember when I get back."_

"_Should I write you a note so you remember?" asked Dr. Tofu._

"_Y'know what, Doc? Good idea," Ranma replied._

_Dr. Tofu took out a notepad and pen, and wrote down the message. He then gave it to Ranma, who slipped it into his pants pocket, and took off for home._

* * *

A while after Ranma left, Dr. Tofu heard a feminine grunt; he turned around and saw Kodachi, waking up and rubbing her head.

"Where am I?" she asked herself, unaware that Dr. Tofu was in the next room.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," Tofu said, making his entrance. "Miss Kuno."

Kodachi, startled by Dr. Tofu, screamed a little before she passed out.

"Oh, crud," Tofu said to himself. "I didn't mean to scare her. And now she's unconscious again!"

He sighed. "Well, there's nothing much I can do now. I should go and finish my meal from before and then head to bed. Maybe I'll have better luck in the morning."

Tofu headed back to the dining room and resumed eating his chicken katsu and rice.

"_Oh, I can't wait to have some more of Kasumi's cooking..." _Tofu thought to himself as he grudgingly consumed his food. "_And if Ranma is true to his word, Kenma can help me overcome my shyness! Oh, the times, they are a-changin'_!"

Dr. Tofu went to sleep that night with pleasant dreams involving himself and Kasumi.

* * *

Kodachi groaned as she woke up. Through bleary eyes, she inspected her surroundings. Behind her were some windows through which sunlight was shining through. In front of her was a counter with various types of medicine and cabinets that probably contained other medical items. The bed she was sitting on was one of those beds you would see at hospitals.

With all of this information, Kodachi put two and two together.

"Am I in…. A clinic?" she wondered out loud.

Clapping came from the room in front of her. "Excellent deduction, Miss Kuno, and welcome back to the land of the living."

This time, Kodachi wasn't startled. And she didn't pass out.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Right, where are my manners?" Dr. Tofu cleared his throat. "First off, good morning to you. My name is Ono Tofu, but you can call me Dr. Tofu. I run this small clinic here in Nerima."

"Well...pleased to meet you, doctor," replied Kodachi. "So what exactly am I doing here, in your clinic?"

"You were brought here after you fell into a pond and hit your head," explained Dr. Tofu. "But that's another story altogether. How do you feel? Any sort of lingering pain?"

"No, nothing at all," replied Kodachi. "Although… "

"Yes?"

"I… I feel refreshed. As if I'm a completely new person."

"Oh?" Dr. Tofu asked. "_Guess Ranma lucked out. It seems to me that the personality of Kodachi has changed. Perhaps this is temporary...but perhaps this is permanent. I suppose I should check to be sure."_

"Well, I have devised a set of questions to see if you're anything like the original Kodachi."

"How do you know my name?" Kodachi asked. "I've never met you in my entire life. How would you know how I was before?"

"You're right, I don't know who you were originally," admitted Dr. Tofu. "However, the boy who brought you in last night gave me your name and recalled some rather unpleasant experiences involving you. So I have a pretty good idea of how you were before."

"Well, then, doctor. Ask away." Kodachi replied.

"Right. First question. Do you love gymnastics?"

"With all my heart."

"How about martial arts?"

"It's engaging and quite interesting, but gymnastics is obviously the best."

"And what about martial arts rhythmic gymnastics?"

"And what is that exactly?"

"_Ah, she forgot."_ Tofu thought to himself, making a note of that.

"It's a type of martial arts involving gymnastics. It's quite violent. Are you into violent sports or activities?"

Kodachi looked visibly uncomfortable. "No, not particularly. Why do you ask?"

"_Seems to me that this Kodachi is different from the original Kodachi," _noted Dr. Tofu.

"Any violent thoughts at all?" he asked, dodging Kodachi's counter question.

"Not at all," replied a worried Kodachi. "Wait, was I a violent person originally?"

Dr. Tofu hesitated. "_Should I tell her?"_ he thought, mentally debating with himself. "_I should tell her. But first, I need the answer to this last question."_

"Miss Kuno. I will answer all follow-up questions you might have after this last question. Can you wait until then?"

Kodachi nodded her head.

"Okay, then. Last question. What are your feelings for Kenma Saotome?"

Kodachi took a moment to process the question. "_Kenma Saotome…. That name sounds familiar." _

Then it hit her. "Oh, Kenma! My darling knight. Yes, I love Kenma Saotome. A shy and modest little thing. Humble as well. It's a shame he's related to that bastard Ranma."

Dr. Tofu sweat dropped as Kodachi went on a rant about Ranma and how Kenma was so much better than him.

Dr. Tofu cleared his throat loudly, halting Kodachi's rant.

"Those were all the questions I had for you, Miss Kuno," stated Tofu, keeping his eyes on Kodachi. "Do you have any follow up questions?"

"Yes, I have a few actually," replied Kodachi. "Was I a violent person before the accident?"

"Yes you were," responded Dr. Tofu bluntly, his voice grave. "Shortly before your accident, you tried to injure a girl who was to fight you in martial arts rhythmic gymnastics so that she would forfeit the match and you would be declared the winner."

Kodachi looked stricken, as if Dr. Tofu was telling her that her favorite pet had died.

"And before that, you brutally beat and injured the martial arts rhythmic gymnastics of a challenging school because they attacked you, even though you were the one to provoke them. And not only did you seriously injure them, you also sprinkled them with paralysis powder, leaving them in an uncomfortable and unpleasant position! Their injuries could have been treated right away, had you not used the paralysis powder."

Kodachi couldn't take it. The moment Dr. Tofu finished talking, Kodachi began crying, or rather, wailing. Wailing in sadness, fear, and remorse.

Dr. Tofu was startled by this reaction from Kodachi. He had a feeling that she would be remorseful, but he hadn't anticipated the possibility that she might actually cry.

Not knowing how to react to Kodachi's wailing, he went over to her bed and sat down next to her, awkwardly wrapping his arm around Kodachi in an attempt to calm her down.

Kodachi felt peace and comfort with Dr. Tofu's arm around her. It felt like she was waking up in bed after a good night's sleep. The bed would be warm and cozy and she would be in a relaxed state. The last time she could remember having felt like this was when she was in the embrace of her father all those years ago.

After a few moments, Kodachi calmed down. Her wails turned into sobs, which turned into sniffling, until there was silence.

"Feeling better now?" asked Dr. Tofu in a warm, soothing voice that was laced with worry.

"Yes, doctor," Kodachi replied, wiping the tears off her face. "I'm feeling better now."

"Great!" exclaimed Tofu, releasing himself from the awkward position from earlier. He then stood up and bowed before Kodachi. "Also, I would like to apologize for my actions, Miss Kuno. I should have not said all those things you did before the accident. It would have been better if I had not told you about your previous actions because they have obviously affected you in a negative way."

Kodachi nodded. "It's all right, doctor," she replied. "I honestly have a lot on my mind, and I'd like to get it off my chest."

Dr. Tofu coughed lightly. "Very well, then," he replied. "I took some classes in psychology before I got into the chiropractor business; could you explain where this all began?"

"Of course," Kodachi nodded. "It all began when I was but a younger girl. Our mother had left us in the care of our ninja retainer, Sasuke, because kami only knows that our father was completely unqualified to do the job."

"Ah, right; you and your brother, Tatewaki," Dr. Tofu replied. "I saw him a few times during my temporary stint as school doctor for Furinkan High. He sent _plenty _of students to my clinic during that time."

"Anyways, father was always busy with his duties as principal," explained Kodachi. "And my brother was useless, as he spent all his time practicing for the kendo club and trying to hit on girls at school. So, when Sasuke wasn't busy sucking up to my brother, he was training me in the ways of martial-arts rhythmic gymnastics."

"I see," said Dr. Tofu, making small notes about Kodachi's life.

"Then one day, my father just left us and went to Hawaii. This absence of a fatherly figure and the fact that our mother had left us finally took a toll on me. If what you said earlier is true… "

Dr. Tofu nodded in confirmation. "It was."

"... Then I believe that I used all the training I received from Sasuke in a violent way. Tatewaki didn't care what I was doing as long as he wasn't involved and Sasuke didn't know what to do. He tried to stop me several times, but I ignored him. At least, that is what I think happened. Anyways, with no support from my only other family member, I ran wild and did whatever I wanted. And that led to my violent, duplicitous ways."

Dr. Tofu gave another nod in response.

"Then...no more…" Kodachi declared. "No more acting like how I used to. The world is going to see a brand-new Kodachi Kuno. One who is truly knowledgeable on what it means to play fairly."

Dr. Tofu flashed her a huge grin. "Great! That's the spirit! Now, I'm going to call a friend of mine. She's a proper psychologist and can provide you with therapy that can be helpful in making you the new Kodachi you want to be. I can set up an appointment with her tomorrow if you like."

"Please, doctor. I want- no, I need all the help I can get now."

"Alright then. I'll give her a call as soon as I can."

"A question, doctor."

"Ask away."

"Do you think it would be a good idea to sign myself up for a rehab center while I am going through with these sessions with the psychologist?"

Dr. Tofu pondered on the question. "Well, a rehab center is for those individuals who abused various substances or are suffering from mental illnesses. In my opinion, you don't suffer from any mental illness and I am quite certain you don't do drugs. So, no, I don't think it would be a good idea to sign yourself up for a rehab center. They may provide you with temporary benefits, but that's all."

"I see."

"I would, however, recommend you to transfer to a new school." replied Dr. Tofu, much to Kodachi's surprise.

"Would you care to explain?"

"Absolutely. In my opinion, when a person such as yourself wants to change themselves for the better, it would be a good idea to distance yourself from your current environment and place yourself in a new environment so that you will not have any of your daily external forces affecting you in a negative manner. Do you understand what I am saying?"

"I understand you perfectly, doctor. Essentially you are saying that a new environment will help me build my new character."

"Very good, Kodachi," Dr. Tofu said with a smile. "You sure do catch on quickly, don't you?"

Kodachi blushed a little. "I try my best."

"What you said was correct. A new environment will be most beneficial for your new character. Especially when considering just how toxic your current environment is."

"So then, doctor. When will I be going to this new environment?"

Dr. Tofu thought about the question for a moment.

"Well," he finally said, breaking the silence that had descended upon the two individuals. "If I am correct, your summer break begins next month."

Kodachi nodded her head in confirmation.

"And your summer break lasts about a month, yes?"

Kodachi nodded her head once again.

"So I think it would be best for you to finish out the rest of the semester and then go over to my friend's city over the summer, maybe sometime around the end. That way you have time to say all of your necessary goodbyes, take any necessary exams, choose which school in the area you want to transfer to(there's quite a few), and then send that school all of your records."

"Understandable, doctor. But how am I going to have these therapy sessions without your friend?"

"No worries, Miss Kuno," Dr. Tofu replied with a comforting smile. "As I mentioned earlier, I took psychology classes while training to be a chiropractor. While psychology is not my specialty, I can provide you with some basic psychology sessions. Nothing that will help you build your new personality, but it may ease the transition of leaving your old self behind and embracing your new character."

Kodachi was touched by everything Dr. Tofu had said. This was the first time someone took the time to understand her and help her, not pity her. Everyone else thought of her as some psychopath, but this man saw her as a normal human being. She was grateful for this and moved by everything he said.

Kodachi was so moved that she burst into tears. It meant that much to her.

Dr. Tofu was startled once again. "Are you alright, Miss Kuno? Does one of your injuries hurt?"

Kodachi waved her hand to reassure Dr. Tofu. "I'm fine, doctor. Don't worry about me."

After taking a moment to calm herself down, Kodachi had finally stopped crying. She turned to look at Tofu, who was standing up and look at her, a concerned expression on his face.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, doctor, I'm fine. I'm just happy and grateful for everything you've said. It was the first time someone actually listened to me and cared about my well being."

"I see," replied Tofu, understanding washing over his face. He turned around and walked over to the telephone on the wall next to the entrance to the kitchen. "Well, since you do not seem to be suffering from any pain related to your injuries, I think it would be safe for you to go home. Let me call a cab for you."

"Oh, you needn't do that doctor. I can walk back to my house. It's not very far from here."

"Even so, I do not want you to aggregate any of your injuries from such actions. Even though your injuries do not hurt, they can cause pain if you move too much and a fifteen minute walk can lead to this pain."

"Oh, alright. I'll take a cab," said Kodachi letting out a resigned sigh. "But at least let me pay the bill."

"Fine, I'll let you pay the cab bill. In exchange, take some painkillers, free of charge."

"You're much too kind doctor," Kodachi commented, gratefully accepting the bottle of painkillers Tofu had prepared for her.

"I try my best," Tofu said, stealing a line from Kodachi, a grin etched on his face. The two shared a laugh and waited for the cab to arrive.

"Oh, right," Tofu said, remembering something. "Miss Kuno, I want you to come to my clinic twice a week for therapy sessions. If that's alright with you."

"It is."

"Good. You can come any day you are available. I'm free on almost all days, so it wouldn't be a problem if you dropped by on a random day." A loud *BEEP* could be heard from outside. "And I believe your cab is here."

"So it seems, doctor," replied Kodachi, as the two of them walked to the front doors.

"I guess this is goodbye for now," Dr. Tofu said, sliding the door open.

"Yes it is," said Kodachi, turning to Dr. Tofu. "Goodbye, doctor. I shall see you next week."

"Goodbye, Miss Kuno," said Dr. Tofu, watching as Kodachi walked to the cab. Once inside, she began waving at Tofu. He gladly returned the gesture. "Until next time."

Kodachi gave a curt nod just as the cab drove away, heading in the direction of the Kuno residence.

Soon after Kodachi's cab had left his vision, Dr. Tofu closed the sliding doors and began prepping up for the long day ahead of him.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MAIN PLOT-LINE...**_

"So, then, Shampoo," Kenma continued. "What are you gonna do?"

Shampoo looked tentatively between her husband to be and the "girl" she needed to kill. On the one hand, she had her honor as a warrior to consider. But on the other hand, she would risk her lover's hatred if she carried out the hit.

The tension in the now empty and ruined shop was so thick, it could be cut with a knife.

"_This is intense," _Ranko thought as she began sweating like crazy. "_Just what the hell does that loony broad have in mind?"_

"Well, Shampoo," Kenma called out. "What is your decision?"

"I… I… " Shampoo stuttered, unable to say something.

"Well?"

"Sha-Shampoo want bandana boy to be hubby… " Shampoo started.

"Great! I'm glad that you're not going to kill my brother! Now let's be friends!" interjected Kenma as relief washed through him and Ranko.

"... But Shampoo has to defend honor. Shampoo has to kill this girl to restore honor," continued Shampoo, pointing at Ranko.

Ranko continued sweating as Shampoo began raising her Chui to attack her.

"Wait, Shampoo," Kenma said, stopping said person before she could attack.

"What you want, idiot boy?" asked an irritated Shampoo.

"You can't choose both to have Ryoga as your husband and also kill Ranma. You need to make your decision right here and now."

Shampoo's facial expressions went through three stages. First was defiance, followed by indecisiveness and finally, defeat.

She let out a resigned sigh. "Shampoo not know what to do."

"Why don't you ask whoever's in charge of your village?" asked Kenma. "They probably know the ins-and-outs of this sorta thing, so maybe they could find a loophole that _doesn't _involve you murdering my brother."

"You mean… village elder?" asked Shampoo, blinking. Kenma nodded in response, and Shampoo's eyes lit up. "Aiyaa! That too-too good idea! Village elder is Shampoo's great grandmother!" the girl exclaimed, joyfully hopping up and down. "Idiot boy not so big idiot after all!"

Kenma blinked in surprise from Shampoo's sudden reaction, but quickly regained his composure. He turned to Ranko and flashed her a smile. "Looks like luck is on your side."

"Too right," replied Ranko, returning the grin.

"So, does this mean that Ranma won't be hunted down by Shampoo anymore?" asked Akane.

"I mean, yeah, that is what is supposed to happen. After all, it is far more important for a female from this tribe to get a strong man as her husband than it is to exact revenge on some girl who was stronger than her," responded Kenma. "Does that make sense?"

"In a way, yes. But I still have a bad feeling about this," said a skeptical Akane.

"Well, I guess we'll find out when Shampoo's great grandmother comes to Nerima," said Kenma.

"Say, where is her great grandma anyways?" asked Ranko. "Oi, Shampoo. Where's ya great grandma?"

"She not know where I am. Shampoo need to call her and tell her to come."

"Wait," Akane said. "Did you say 'call?'"

Shampoo nodded in confirmation.

"But… don't ya live in rural China?" asked Ranko.

An irritated and annoyed expression graced Shampoo's face. "Just because Chinese Amazons live in rural area of China, does not mean we have no technology."

"Alright, you guys. Let's calm down for a minute," said Kenma, acting as a diplomat and trying to defuse the situation. He turned to Shampoo. "After you make this call, how long do you think it'll take your great grandmother to arrive in Nerima?"

"At least one week," answered Shampoo.

"Alrighty then. We will wait until your great grandmother arrives sometime next week. Until then, let's agree to be on friendly terms, _capisce_? No fighting when we see each other, alright? And no pokin' the hornet's nest, either." Kenma gave Ranko a knowing look.

"Alright, fine," replied Ranko in an exasperated tone. "I agree to these terms."

"Shampoo agree terms as well."

"Great!" exclaimed Kenma, clapping his hands together. "I think we can be friends now!"

"'Friends' is taking it a tad too far," remarked Ranko. "Maybe start from 'acquaintances' and see where it goes."

"Whatever," Kenma replied, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. "Well, I guess we should be heading home right about now. We need to help Ryoga recover…. " Kenma paused for a moment and turned to Shampoo. "Say, Shampoo, where are you staying?"

"I have tent in empty lot," replied Shampoo. "Shampoo used to camping out. And fighting."

"Even so, I don't think it's a good idea for you to camp out alone. Anything could happen to you." Kenma turned to Akane. "Akane-_hime_, would it be a problem if Shampoo stayed with us for the next week or so?"

"Hmm… I don't think so. Kasumi wouldn't mind," Akane replied. "Although, we don't have many rooms left."

"Yeah, you're right… " Kenma pondered. "Maybe she could share with Kasumi?"

"Or maybe she can sleep out in the dojo," suggested Ranko.

"Oh, I've got!" Kenma exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "Pops could bunk with Akane's father for the week and Shampoo can occupy the guest room!"

"Hmm… yeah, that could work," replied Akane. She turned to Shampoo and flashed her a big smile. "So, Shampoo, are you OK with this arrangement?"

"Shampoo fine with this arrangement. Thank for hospitality."

"Alright then," said Ranko, grabbing the still unconscious Ryoga by his hand and putting him in a standing position. "Let's get home and help Ryoga recover. Kenma, gimme a hand, would ya?"

"Roger that," Kenma replied, appearing on the other side of Ryoga and wrapped Ryoga's arm around Kenma's neck. Ranko did the same thing on her side.

"Hopefully you don't think I'm too weak to lift my best friend." Kenma muttered, a bit of venom in his tone.

"We'll head over to yer house, Akane," declared Ranko, pretending not to have heard Kenma's comment. "Meanwhile, why don'cha go with Shampoo to get her stuff from the empty lot and then head home?"

"Will do," Akane responded as she turned to Shampoo. "Alright, Shampoo, lead the way."

The two groups of teenagers left the now damaged and deserted ice parlor.

"Okay, we're heading off now!" called out Kenma as he and Ranko turned right and began walking towards the Tendo residence. "We'll see you later, Shampoo & Akane-_hime!_"

"Shampoo tent this way," said Shampoo, pointing left of the shop.

"Let's go," said Akane as she and Shampoo began walking towards the empty lot.

* * *

_**NEXT UP: Book 1's final chapter**_


	8. Keep on Rising! Kodachi's Declaration

**Chapter 8:**

"_**Keep On Rising! Kodachi's Declaration**_"  
**Japanese: **上昇を続ける！ こだちの宣言  
Pronounced: "_Oshō o Tsudzukeru! Kodachi no Sengen_"

(**SEASON 1 FINALE)**

**THE CAST:**

**JOHN CAMPBELL **as Ranma

**VENUS TERZO **as Ranko

**MICHAEL O' REILLY** as Ryoga

**RICK JONES **as Kenma

**IAN J. CORLETT **as Dr. Tofu

**CATHY WESELUCK **as Shampoo

**MYRIAM SIROIS **as Akane

**TERYL ROTHERY **as Kodachi Kuno

**KATHLEEN BARR **as Cologne

**NICOLE OLIVER **as Ling-Ling

**JODIE RESTHER **as Lung-Lung

**BRAD SWAILE **as Mousse

**PAUL DOBSON **as Happosai

**COLIN MURDOCK **as Genma

**DAVID KAYE **as Soun

**RICHARD IAN COX **as InuYasha

**KIRA TOZER **as Kagome Higurashi

**LIZA MCRAE **as Lum

and

**TERRY SCAMMELL **as Ataru Moroboshi

Narrator for next episode: **Terrence "Terry" Scammell**

**Also, as of next season, Michael Adamthwaite takes over as the voice of Soun full-time.**

* * *

The Saotome brothers were busy taking Ryoga back to the Tendo Dojo, following the insanity that had unfolded that day.

Ranko couldn't help but think of what Dr. Tofu had told her when he'd last spoken to her as Ranma.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

"_No, he got all pissed cuz I said he was weak," Ranma replied. "Then he started asking that if he was so weak, why did I bring him along? ...I just wanted someone to talk to while I was on my way here..."_

"_Then you could've at least told him that, you know," Dr. Tofu explained. "I don't know what your father's been telling you, but bottling up your emotions and hiding them all behind some tough-guy exterior doesn't help you, it only distances you from the people who care about you. They're less likely to be impressed, and more likely to think of you as an insensitive jerk. So maybe you and Kenma should talk this out before you lose the only family member you have a genuine connection with."_

_Ranma turned his head down, and a small tear rolled down the side of his face. All his life, he'd had it drilled into his head that "martial artists don't reveal their true emotions", among other idiotic mentalities that his father believed in, like "ice cream and sweets are for women", and "pain only makes you stronger". But then again, his father also had a habit of yammering on about a martial artist's honor. Whatever Genma considered to be "honor" didn't seem to apply whenever he cheated during his sparring with Ranma...and this whole "fiancee" thing he worked out with Soun was just so he could shift most of his workload onto Ranma's back, and leech off the boy's hard work for the rest of his days._

"_...I'll be sure to consider that," the pig-tailed boy replied to the man, trying to hide his tears._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

* * *

Ranko looked at Kenma as he struggled to carry Ryoga. She wanted to say something about how admirable it was that he kept trying, even when it was clearly pointless; about his dedication to helping his friend, even though he was weaker…

_C'mon, say something! Tell him everything you want to! From your apology to your admiration! Get on good terms with him!_

After a few moments of quiet walking, Ranko cleared her throat to get her brother's attention.

"Hey, Kenma, I've got something to say." she announced.

"S-sure...go for it…!" Kenma grunted and wheezed, shifting Ryoga's arm to try to get a better grip on him; but naturally, he was having some trouble with it. "I'm...all ears...!"

"Umm… yeah… remember that night when I was carrying Kodachi and we were walking towards the doc's place?"

Kenma stopped walking for a bit. Ranko followed his example.

"How could I forget?" Kenma said after a moment, his tone bitter and his voice full of venom. "You insulted me by calling me weak! Then you couldn't explain WHY you asked ME to come with YOU to Dr. Tofu's place."

Another tidal wave of silence doused the two siblings (Ryoga doesn't count because he's unconscious and can't hear anything).

"I'm sorry for what I said, Kenma," Ranko said in a small voice, breaking the silence. "I just wanted ta spend time with my dear brother whom I'm fond of."

Kenma was shocked. For the first time in his life, his brother was dangerously close to revealing his emotions to some else! This was both a joyous occasion and a surreal situation.

"You really mean that...?" Kenma asked after a moment.

"Yeah. I enjoy spending time with you...cause you're my brother. We are family and I'm proud of that fact. Well, except for that…ya know who that we have as a father."

"Who would be crazy or drunk enough to sleep with that old goat?" Kenma chuckled dryly. "...whoever the hell our mother was...or is, maybe. You ever wonder if she's out there, wondering where we are?"

"Maybe," Ranko replied. It was a thought she had quite often, though she never bothered to share any thoughts with the rest of her family, especially Pops. Who knows, it might be a touchy subject for him. He never _was _the type who seemed very in-touch with his feelings, unless it involved either stealing food from his sons or forcing him to get married.

"So, you really mean everything you said?" Kenma asked again in a quiet voice.

"Yeah, I do, Ken," Ranko responded confidently. "I'm really sorry for the things I said that night and, well, everything I've said before and maybe after that night. I just wanted to spend time with ya because y'er my brother. But ya know how I am with emotions. And, unfortunately, I hurt you when I tried to convey my true emotions. For that, I'm sorry. Do ya think ya could find it in yer heart ta forgive your knucklehead brother?"

"Yeah, Ranma. I can forgive you," replied Kenma in a much warmer tone.

"Thanks, Ken," Ranko said with a warm smile. A genuine smile, not a smirk or a sneer. A smile. "You're the best. You're so kind and forgiving. In some ways, you're even considerate. Sure, you may be a playboy, trying to pick up girls with your smooth talking. But all of your other traits outweigh this. It's truly admirable. I guess it goes without saying that Akane's really lucky to have a guy like you."

At this moment, Kenma couldn't hold it in. Ranko was saying so many kind things, being true to her emotions...and it felt great! Kenma was happy that his brother (sister at the moment) was changing for the better. And this also made him emotional.

"Thank… you… Ranma," Kenma managed to say as he began crying. "It… really means a lot!"

"Ah, geez, Kenma," Ranko said as she turned to look at Kenma and shook her head. "Are you really crying? Here, take this." She handed him a napkin she had grabbed while still at the ice cream parlour.

Kenma wiped his eyes, and sniffled as he smiled. "You know, Ranma; some folks say you're a thoughtless meathead… but I know you've got a good heart, even if you don't show it very much."

"Kenma… " Ranko said as she kept her gaze on her teary eyed brother. "...hey, who called me a meathead?" she asked.

"Like when we first came to Nerima and met the Tendos. Pops said that I wasn't involved in the agreement she made with Mr. Tendo because I'm an artist and not a martial artist. You went to defend me. Sure, so did Mr. Tendo and Dr. Tofu, but your defense meant a lot to me. Cuz it showed that you cared about me. And that made me happy. Happy because I know I have a sibling who's got my back and help me when I need help the most."

"Stoppit, Kenma," said Ranko, embarrassed and, perhaps, a little happy, by what Kenma said. "Yer makin' me blush."

"Oh my! Ranma's character is breaking even more! First the apology and now this! Have we reached the end times?"

"Oh, shut up!" Ranko exclaimed, raising her fists. "Are ya trying ta pick a fight? Cuz if you are, I'm down to brawl."

Kenma just chuckled. "I'm just bustin' yer chops, Ranma. Don't take me seriously. Although it's true. Ever since we came to Nerima, you've changed. And not in a bad way. I guess I could say that you're starting to become a more well-rounded person."

"Yeah, I noticed that as well," said Ranko. After a moment, she grinned to herself. "Nerima is something else, huh?"

"I suppose so," Kenma replied, his own smile plastered on his face.

The two brothers stood there in the middle of the street as they shared a moment of contemplative silence together, savoring their time with one another.

Their moment together was interrupted by Ryoga's groaning.

"Looks like Ryoga is regaining consciousness," commented Kenma.

"Yeah," Ranko said, regretting that her time with Kenma was coming to an end. She let out a resigned sigh. "Well, we better get back to the dojo and let him rest properly."

"You're right. That was quite the shock he'd gotten when he realized that he was now engaged to Shampoo. But at least she'll have someone to love, plus she doesn't need to kill you anymore!"

"Yeah…. " said Ranko in response. "Well, let's get back to the dojo."

"Alright, let's go!" Kenma declared, putting a fist in the air. "TEYANDEE!"

And with that, the two siblings made their way towards the Tendo residence, with Ryoga in tow as he slowly regained consciousness.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE, AT THAT SAME TIME...**_

While Ranko and Kenma were heading towards the Tendo residence, Akane and Shampoo had arrived at the empty lot where Shampoo was camping out.

"Here are we!" Shampoo exclaimed triumphantly.

There, under the tree of the barren lot laid a small but comfy-looking purple-pink tent with cat designs on the exterior. Close to the tent was a campfire site as there were stones placed together in a circle with singed and halfway-burnt pieces of firewood in the middle.

"So, this is where you're staying?" asked Akane. "Gotta be honest: I've seen worse. But I think we can get your stuff into the guest room."

Shampoo nodded as she began to gather her objects from the campsite.

"Shampoo, I've been wondering," Akane said. "Why does your tribe live by the idea that if another woman defeats you, then you need to kill them?"

"It just how things are," Shampoo replied. "Never bother to question it, really."

"Couldn't you just challenge them to a rematch?" asked Akane. "That way, you wouldn't have to kill anyone!"

Shampoo remained silent as she continued gathering her belongings.

"And if you lose to a man, you have to marry him?" continued Akane. "What the hell?! What type of barbaric tribe do you come from?"

"I am proud Chinese Amazon," replied Shampoo in a deadly tone. "I am strong, just like rest of tribe. We proud of our strength. And we followed same laws for three thousand years."

Akane sighed. She didn't understand these customs, but since they weren't her own, that was to be expected.

"Fine, whatever. It's not like I lived in your tribe for most of my life. I can't judge you without experiencing what you did."

Shampoo nodded. "That right. You not know Shampoo life, so you not judge Shampoo."

"Then how about we make peace, here and now?" asked Akane. "If we're gonna live under the same roof, we may as well be friends while we do it."

The purple-haired girl smiled. "That fine with Shampoo."

"However, you are going to have to follow Japanese rules and customs," Akane said.

"What you mean?" asked Shampoo as she finally finished packing everything.

"Well, for starters, you can't go around fighting everyone just because they provoke you or do something that you do not like."

"I not do that!"

"Oh, really? Then why did you challenge Ranma over something as trivial and petty as food?"

"Because that was champion's food!"

"Keyword: food. It was just food. Something you can make or grow and eat."

"Yes, but greedy panda steal food! Food was not theirs! You not mad when someone eat what was rightfully yours?!" asked Shampoo. "Not to mention, stupid boy was making trouble!"

"I would be pissed off, sure," conceded Akane. "But I wouldn't chase 'em to the ends of the world for revenge. Or beat them up, for that matter."

Shampoo responded by giving Akane a cold stare. Akane matched this stare with a fiery glare of her own.

"Fine. Shampoo not attack people who provoke," relented Shampoo after a moment. "But Shampoo be bitter about it..." she pouted a little bit.

"Another thing," Akane said, ignoring Shampoo's pout. "Can't you speak better Japanese? I mean, you are a smart girl from a proud Amazon tribe. Surely you were taught how to Japanese alongside Chinese. The way you talk now in Japanese makes you seem like a bimbo, and I don't think that is the image you want to convey to others."

Shampoo's face turned red upon hearing these words.

"You dare call Shampoo bimbo!?" screeched Shampoo, feeling embarrassed and angry for being insulted in such a manner.

"It's true though," said Akane. "The way you speak DOES make you seem less intelligent than you really are."

"Does violent tomboy want to die?" asked Shampoo in an enraged tone as she pulled out her _chui_.

"Did you forget the first thing we agreed on? Not to attack those who provoke you?"

Shampoo just glared at Akane. All she wanted to do was beat up Akane to alleviate her anger.

Realizing that she wasn't going to get anywhere with weapons in hand, Shampoo dropped her _chui_.

"That's better," Akane said approvingly.

Shampoo was still angry, but she was a proud warrior. So she was going to restrain her anger and calm herself down before she lost all her pride that she had built up.

"Do I really sound like bimbo?" asked a now calm Shampoo.

"Unfortunately, yes. Now, don't take this offensively, but you sound like a fool when you speak Japanese."

Shampoo's anger started to rise again, but she managed to resist the urge to rip Akane's limbs off. "What your solution?"

"Well, me."

Shampoo looked at Akane, a confused expression gracing her face. "What you mean?"

"I mean that I can teach you Japanese," said Akane. "You can't go to school because a) you're a warrior, and b) you look too old to be a high schooler!"

"Shampoo only 16."

"Whatever," Akane said dismissively. "The point is that you don't have time to be in school, or rather, you just don't want to be in school. To be honest, you don't even need to go to school because of what you are. So how else are you going to learn Japanese? Through me, of course!"

"But why you?"

"Well, at our house, I'm, to an extent, the academic one. Kasumi is nice and all, but she's busy cooking and doing housework, so she doesn't have time to teach anyone a language. Nabiki is really smart, but she's too busy trying to profit, so she'd charge you big for so-called lessons. Ranma is, well, Ranma. He's not very bright so he can't be a teacher. Simple as that. Kenma would be terrified of you, which would not be helpful for both of us. Father and Genma are just lazy. Need I say more?"

"That was lot, but I think understand why you need teach me, or rather, want teach me."

Akane smiled and shook hands with her. "Glad you see my point. And through our little student-teacher relationship, we can form a strong friendship. Doesn't that sound good?"

"That sound nice," replied Shampoo with a firm nod.

"Alright then! I guess we should head home right now. Kasumi and the others surely must be worried about us." Akane turned to Shampoo. "You packed up everything?"

"Yes," replied Shampoo.

"Then let's go!"

And with that, the two teens walked out of the empty lot and towards the direction of the Tendo residence.

Despite how oddly this whole day had started out, all in all, it had turned out quite nicely.

* * *

"A few more steps and… done!" exclaimed a tired Ranko as she and Kenma collapsed on the walkway to the Dojo. "We...made… it!"

"Y-yeah," wheezed Kenma, gasping for air. "Damn, that was only a fifteen minute walk and yet I'm so tired! I...need to get in shape!"

Ranko giggled a little as she and Kenma laid Ryoga down on the walkway (who, for the record, was partially-conscious by now).

Just then, Kasumi walked outside. "Oh, Ranma! And Kenma! You're back!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"Yeah, we're back," said Ranko, looking down at Ryoga. "But it looks like Ryoga's still in dreamland."

"Oh my! What happened?" asked Kasumi in a worried tone.

"Well, it's kinda a long story… " started Kenma.

"... But the gist of it is that the Shampoo character from last night decided to fight Ryoga and technically lost to him, so…. " continued Ranko.

"... Shampoo gave Ryoga the Kiss of Marriage, as per the laws of her tribe. And when Ryoga realized that, well, he decided to take a little nap," finished Kenma. He then turned to Ranko and flashed her a huge grin. "Man, are we telepathic or what? Like we got that psychic mojo goin' on here!"

Ranko smiled in return and gave him a high-five.

"Okay, I think I understand what happened," said Kasumi in a voice that clearly signified she didn't understand what the two siblings just said, but wasn't going to say anything due to her nature.

"Great! Now would you mind calling Pops and your father?" asked Ranko. "Me and Kenma dragged this guy across town for more than fifteen minutes, so we deserve a break. Pops, on the other hand, does nothin' but sit around all day stuffin' his ugly mug and playing shogi, so he could use some exercise."

"Alright, I'll go call them," said Kasumi in her usual gentle way. With that, she turned around and was about to head inside before Kenma stopped her.

"Wait, Kasumi!" he called.

"Yes, Kenma?" asked Kasumi, stopping right in front of the doors.

"Tell Pops and your father to place Ryoga in the dojo...but real gentle-like."

Kasumi nodded. "Alright, I will! In the meantime, I want Ranma to go take a bath."

Ranko was surprised by this. "Why should I?"

"Because you're still in your cursed form, Ranma. Plus, from what I understand, you fought Shampoo for a little bit, yes?"

Ranko nodded in confirmation.

"So I think a bath would be good for you as it will let you clean yourself and relax after your fight and while, at the same time, it'll get you back to your male form."

"Hard to fight that logic," commented Kenma. "Besides, the essence of sweaty armpits isn't exactly in style."

"Ah, shut up, Kenma," said Ranko, rolling her eyes. She then took a deep breath. "Alright, fine. I'll go take a bath."

"Splendid!" exclaimed Kasumi, clapping her hands. "While you're taking your bath, I'll go tell Mr. Saotome and my father to carry Ryoga into the dojo before preparing dinner for us."

"And I'll just do some drawing," said Kenma. "I haven't done that in a while."

"Sounds like a plan," said Kasumi before walking through the front doors and towards wherever the hell Genma and Soun were.

"So..." Kenma said, breaking the silence that consumed the two siblings immediately after Kasumi left. "You gonna go take that bath?"

"Well, yeah. Kasumi told me to," replied Ranko. "And ya can't just ignore something Kasumi tells ya to do. The guilt will gnaw at'cha."

"You have a point there."

"Plus, I didn't take a bath yesterday so now's a perfect time to take one. So I'll be heading to the bathroom to take a bath and I'll see ya in a bit."

"Alright Ranma. See ya in a bit," said Kenma. With that, Ranko walked inside and headed towards the bathroom.

"Hmmm… " Kenma said to himself when he was finally alone. "What should I draw?"

Kenma looked around his surroundings. In front of him was the front gates that led to the Tendo residence and the walls that encircled the house. Along these walls were flowers, bushes, and shrubs of every kind.

"I hope I can decide, and soon," he murmured. "_Dragon Ball _is gonna be on in a while..."

Then an idea popped in Kenma's head.

"Ah, I know! I'll draw Akane as a _Dragon Ball _character!"

Kenma rushed into the house and went to the living room, where he had left his sketchbook.

"Ok, I found my sketchbook. Now then, what character should I draw Akane as?" Kenma asked himself. "Maybe…Beerus? Like in my dream? Cuz he's the God of Destruction and Akane, well, she…"

"I what?" asked a voice that sounded almost like Akane.

Kenma gulped. At that moment, he knew he fucked up. Dropping his sketchbook, Kenma turned towards the direction of "Akane's" voice and prostrated himself before her.

"I'm so sorry, Akane-_hime!_" wailed Kenma, clasping his hands together in a pleading gesture. "I didn't mean anything insulting by the previous statement! It's just that Beerus is one of my favorite characters and I think you fit his personality perfectly, since you're both incredibly strong!"

Kenma remained in a prostrated position, waiting for Akane to accept his apology, or deal out whatever punishment she had ready for him.

A few moments passed before Kenma heard laughter. But something off about it…

_Wait a second. Akane doesn't laugh like that… _Kenma thought.

He lifted his head and saw…. Nabiki standing before him. Not only that, but she was also holding a camcorder in her hand, and it was on.

"Oh, man! Those were some embarrassing things you said!" Nabiki managed to say as she stifled her laughter. "And the way you reacted? Just dropping your sketchbook and begging for my forgiveness?"

Kenma went beet red upon hearing this. He slowly got up and went to retrieve his sketchbook.

"You really are scared about Akane, aren't ya?" sneered a composed Nabiki. "This video I took proves it."

Kenma started sweating like crazy. "I only wanted to draw Akane as Beerus because I think she's strong and cool! I wasn't insulting her or anything, honest!"

"I think your bigger worry should be whether I show this to Akane or not."

"PLEASE DON'T SHOW HER…!" Kenma begged, about to cry. "She'd rip me apart!"

Nabiki laughed in an evil way as she watched Kenma freak out and beg her not to show the tape.

"Like hell I would show this tape," said Nabiki after suppressing her laughter, a smirk gracing her face. "Think of all the fun I would miss out on if I just went and gave this tape to Akane!"

"Fun? W-what do you mean by fun?"

"Kenma, you already know the answer to that question. What do you think I mean?"

"Y-you don't mean b-blackmail?"

Nabiki nodded slowly, a sinister smile on her face. "Bingo. Way I see it, I've got you over a barrel, and this little tape is the key to _you_ doing whatever I ask you to, no questions asked." she replied.

In an instant, Kenma's fear evaporated and turned into anger. His hands clenched into fists, and his eyes seemed to burn like fiery coals as he gritted his teeth, and his nostrils flared. Sure, he'd been angry before….but never like this. He was about to _really _let Nabiki have it, for sure. Within his body, the furious aura of a mighty tiger was calling out to be set free from his cage, and now was the time.

"Y**OU HEARTLESS, GREEDY BITCH! ALL YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IS MONEY! YOU DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO OR WHO YOU HURT AS LONG AS YOU CAN TURN A PROFIT! WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC MONSTER ARE YOU?! I OUGHTA…** "

"Well, I guess I'll show this tape to Akane," interjected Nabiki as she began to walk out of the living room.

"... I meant to say, I oughta ask if you would allow me to rub your shoulders, most honorable and beautiful Nabiki-_sama,_" said Kenma in a nervous tone of voice. Whatever righteous anger was flowing through Kenma's system had been replaced with fear. "After all, I am but your humble servant, who is more than happy to please his mistress."

"That's better," said Nabiki as Kenma began rubbing her shoulders, a smirk gracing her face. However, she was troubled by what he had said; surprisingly, his words had actually gotten to her, piercing through her cold-hearted attitude.

_Is what he said true? _Nabiki questioned herself as Kenma hesitantly continued rubbing her shoulders. _I know that I'm cold hearted. I mean, how else would I be called the Ice Queen? Besides, that's just how I've always been...at least after Mom bit the big 'un. And I know that there are people out there that call me a 'bitch' or 'monster' because of what I do. But… is it true that I only think about money? That I'll do whatever it takes to get it, even if it meant hurting those around me who care for me?_

"Um, Nabiki-_sama?_" Kenma asked tentatively. "Are you alright?"

Kenma's voice snapped Nabiki back into reality. She blinked in sudden surprise. Did she just start feeling _**guilty**_ about what someone had said about her?

"...yeah, I'm fine," Nabiki replied, shaking her head slightly to escape her introspection.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Kenma, I'm sure. Was there something you needed?"

"I was just wondering if you were still going to show that tape to Akane..." Kenma replied shyly, twiddling his fingers.

Nabiki looked down at her hand to look at her camcorder.

"Yeah, about the tape… " Nabiki started saying. "I think I'm going to hang on to it."

"Oh, what a relief!" exclaimed Kenma as gratitude coursed through his body. "Thank you, Nabiki-_sama!_"

"However, that doesn't mean I won't use this tape against you in the future," commented Nabiki in a sweet, yet sinister, tone. "Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me."

Nabiki's voice, plus the frightening smile on her face, caused Kenma to shudder.

"W-well as long as Akane doesn't see that tape, i-it's ok," he stuttered. "I guess."

"Speaking of Akane," continued Nabiki as she sat down by the table in the living room and motioned Kenma to do the same. "I wanted to talk to you about her."

"O-ok?" said Kenma as he sat down at the table as well.

"So, Kenma, tell me- how do you feel about Akane?" asked Nabiki, her eyes on Kenma.

"I love her, with all my heart," blurted out Kenma without hesitation.

"And would you ever betray her?"

Kenma quickly saw where this was going.

"Never. I would never betray her," replied Kenma. "In my past, I may have been what you call a player or rascal, but those days are behind me. I found Akane and I've decided that she's the only girl for me. So I'm hanging up my 'playboy' attitude for good in order to be with her."

"Really? You're telling me you would give up hitting on girls if you could be with Akane?"

"Absolutely."

"Even if a girl did something like this?" Nabiki proceeded to rub Kenma's thigh very slowly, a smirk rising on her face.

_What is she doing?_ thought Kenma as Nabiki continued rubbing his thigh. _M__an, the way she's rubbing my thigh, it feels really good! And Nabiki's not bad looking either. This is really turning me on..._

Kenma vigorously shook his head. _No, Kenma! Your eyes are only on Akane, nobody else! Resist the temptation that Nabiki is causing. She'll try to use it against you. Clearly, this is a test of your loyalty!_

"Um, Nabiki? I already said that I have set my eyes on Akane. So any attempt to dissuade me from pursuing her is futile." Kenma told her, a stony expression on his face.

Nabiki stopped rubbing Kenma's thigh. It was apparent that the boy was serious about this-a lot more serious than Kuno-baby or Ranma had ever been. Still, it had been a good try.

"Alright, Kenma. I believe you," said Nabiki, letting out a resigned sigh. "I believe that you're perfect for Akane. Although, I don't understand what you see in her."

"There's a lot to Akane. If you stopped caring about money so much, you might see it as well."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Nabiki conceded. "I know I've emotionally hurt people in pursuit of money, and maybe that's why I don't know all that much about my own family members."

Kenma smiled at her. Maybe she could actually change her greedy, self-serving ways and become a nicer person.

"Anyways, I guess I'll leave Akane in your care and see how far you guys go in your relationship. But just know this," Nabiki said in a dark tone, her threat magnified by her unflinching half-lidded gaze that seemed to pierce through Kenma's very soul. "If I ever find that you have betrayed Akane, abandoned her, or hurt her either emotionally or physically, I swear that there will be hell to pay. I'll make sure that the rest of your life is a waking nightmare, and that you never know the feeling of joy ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

Nabiki's voice was so cold that the temperature in the living room went down a few degrees.

"C-crystal," shivered Kenma, his breath hanging in the air.

Nabiki smiled, petting Kenma on the head. "That's a good boy." she replied.

And on that note, she slowly got up from the table and dusted off her clothes.

"Well, as much as I'm enjoying this conversation with you, I, unfortunately, have to get going," Nabiki told Kenma, and she went on her way. "Just remember what I said, got it, Kenny-boy?"

Kenma gave a firm nod. Nabiki chuckled to herself, and with a wink, she slipped away.

_Yep-definitely a keeper_, Nabiki thought. _Wonder if he and Akane would be into a 3-way?_

Kenma watched Nabiki walk out the living room and let out a sigh of relief once he heard the front doors close.

"Finally, she's gone," Kenma said to himself, wiping his sweaty forehead (which he hadn't noticed until now). "She's really scary. Now I really need to be careful around her..."

"Man, that bath was great!" exclaimed Ranma as he entered the living room. "I feel so refreshed!"

Kenma, who was lost in his thoughts, was so startled by Ranma's voice that he couldn't help but scream. "NO! DON'T SHOW HER THE TAPE!" he howled in terror.

"Huh?" Ranma questioned. "What tape?"

Kenma looked up to see Ranma, now back in his male form, somewhat wet from the quick bath he just took.

"Um… " said Kenma, trying to forget his thoughts about Nabiki. "Nothing. You don't need to know about the tape." Kenma chuckled lightly. "Anyways, how was your bath?"

"It was nice! I'm feelin' pretty relaxed now!"

"That's great to hear."

"So, I just saw Nabiki walking out of the living room and out the front doors with a smile on her face. Did something happen between you two?"

"We simply had a little chat, is all."

"Huh? Are you sure? Her smile kinda looked smug, as if she had won something… "

"It was a chat, nothing more, nothing less."

"Well, if ya say so."

Ranma proceeded to sit down next to Kenma. "So, what'd ya draw while I was in the bath?"

"Oh! Um… let's see… "said Kenma, flipping through his sketchbook before realizing something. "Yeah, about my drawing… I didn't get a chance. I was too busy talking, so I never got to start on it."

"Really? That's odd… " murmured Ranma.

"Odd? How?" questioned Kenma.

"Well, usually when you're drawing during a conversation, ya prioritize your drawing over the actual conversation, unless the conversation is important. The fact that you didn't draw while talking to Nabiki tells me that you were having a serious conversation with her."

"She just said that she'd make sure I was being nice to Akane and staying loyal," Kenma replied. "And I made a promise I intend to stick with."

"I see, " said Ranma, content with Kenma's explanation. "Well, if Akane's in the equation, then any conversation will be serious enough to prevent you from drawing. Amirite?"

"I suppose so… "

"Naw, don't you 'I suppose so' me. You and I know that you're head over heels in love with Akane and if there is any conversation involving her, I bet you'd want to be in it."

"Fine, fine. I admit you are right. I would want to be in any kind of conversation dealing with Akane."

"Told ya!" exclaimed Ranma, a grin on his face.

"Oh, shut up," Kenma said in an exasperated voice. "Why don't you go do some martial arts and leave me alone to draw."

"Y'know what? That sounds like a great plan." Ranma proceeded to walk out of the living room. "Ryoga should be in the dojo."

"Yeah," replied Kenma absentmindedly as he began drawing.

Then he stopped. "Ryoga?"

Then a thought hit him. "AW, NUTS! I totally forgot about Ryoga!" Kenma dropped his sketchbook for the second time that day as he quickly got up.

Just as he got up, Ranma rushed back into the living room.

"Is everything alright, Kenma?"

"Other than the fact that I totally forgot about Ryoga, yeah, I'm fine!" replied Kenma as he rushed into the kitchen.

"You idiot! How could you forget about Ryoga? We dragged him halfway across town!"

"I know! It's just that my conversation with Nabiki seriously distracted me!"

"Fine, whatever," said Ranma as he got in the kitchen as well.

"We should go and check on Ryoga," said Kenma as he got a glass and placed it under the sink.

"I agree. But if you want to check on Ryoga, what are you doing in the kitchen?"

"Well, I thought he would like some water," Kenma replied, pointing at the now half-full glass of water. "And maybe some aspirin. Speaking of which, where are the aspirin pills?"

"Here they are!" exclaimed a cheerful voice from behind. Ranma and Kenma turned their heads to see Kasumi with her usual cheerful, blissful smile...and a bottle of aspirin in her hand.

"Ah, thanks, Kasumi! You're a real lifesaver!"

"Oh, it was nothing!"

"Say, where'd ya come from?"

"Well, I was upstairs in my room, reading some medical books that I borrowed from Dr. Tofu when I heard some yelling from downstairs. I dropped my book and ran out the door, down the stairs and I heard you two talking about Ryoga. I stepped into the kitchen, but you two didn't seem to notice, probably because you two were so engrossed in your conversation. Since you were talking about Ryoga and his well-being, I thought he would like to have some aspirin as I swiftly got the bottle out of the cabinet just as Kenma asked for it! And that's how we ended up here!"

"Ah well, that's quite the story. And sorry for causing ya ta stop reading your book due to our yelling," said Ranma apologetically.

"Oh, it's fine Ranma, really. I was going to come downstairs in a few moments anyway to prepare lunch!"

"Well, if ya say so… "

"Anyways, I think our bigger concern is Ryoga," interjected Kenma, grabbing the glass of water and taking the bottle of aspirin from Kasumi as he walked out of the kitchen. "C'mon, let's go, Ranma!"

"Alright, I hear ya, Kenma," responded Ranma as he followed Kenma out of the kitchen, leaving Kasumi all alone.

Once she was alone, Kasumi began pulling out cooking utensils from the cabinets and cooking ingredients from the fridge.

"Now, then," Kasumi said once she had everything out and prepared. "What should I make?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ryoga was in the dojo, laying on the floor, still unconscious. He'd been unceremoniously dumped in the dojo not too long ago by Soun and Genma. They should have stayed in the dojo to make sure Ryoga was ok; however, Soun and Genma felt that their shogi game was much more important. And so, they tossed Ryoga in the dojo like a burlap sack and rushed back to their game.

So when Kenma and Ranma walked into the dojo, well, they were appalled to see Ryoga right outside of the entrance.

"Those bastards," muttered Ranma as he shook his head. "They just left Ryoga in the dojo without taking care of him. Don't they have the decency to at least prepare a futon for him?"

"They're a couple of low-down slimeballs, no denying that," agreed Kenma as he placed the glass or water and bottle of aspirin down. "But our main concern is Ryoga. Now gimme a hand. Let's make him feel comfortable."

"Alright, sure," Ranma replied as he put a damp cloth on Ryoga's forehead.

Suddenly, Ryoga regained consciousness. He opened his eyes and got up into a sitting position.

Kenma and Ranma were a bit startled by Ryoga reawakening. Whether Ryoga woke up due to the noises they made or the cloth that Ranma put on his forehead, it didn't matter. It was trivial (because they didn't know and they didn't care). All that mattered was that Ryoga was awake.

"Ugh… where am I?" groaned Ryoga, rubbing his head. He had been laying on a very hard surface due to the carelessness of Genma and Soun and now his head, which was resting in an awkward position, was throbbing in pain.

"Ah, Ryoga!" exclaimed Kenma. He was ecstatic that Ryoga had woken up. "Are you alright? You're not hurt anywhere, are you?"

"No, but my head is hurting a little," replied Ryoga. He stopped rubbing his head so he could turn his head and see where he was. "Say, where are we?"

"We're in the dojo," answered Ranma as Kenma offered Ryoga an aspirin.

"I see," said Ryoga. He took the aspirin from Kenma's hand and put it in his mouth. He then took a sip from the glass to help him wash it down.

"So, uh, what happened to me and how did I end up here?" asked Ryoga after swallowing the aspirin.

"Well, you see, what happened was… " started Kenma.

"...we went to the ice parlor to keep an eye on Kenma and Akane when Shampoo showed up…" continued Ranma.

"...you fought Shampoo when she brought out her Chui and managed to deflect one of the Chui which she threw at you…"

"Which, unfortunately, fell down on Shampoo's head…"

"...meaning that you technically beat Shampoo in a one-on-one battle and as per the laws of her village…"

"You are now engaged to Shampoo," Ranma finished with a smile. "And immediately after realizing that, you KO'd."

"OK, we are two for two today, am I right?" Kenma exclaimed.

With the explanation of the Saotome brothers, Ryoga remembered all of the memories dealing with the battle against Shampoo.

"I'm…engaged…" Ryoga managed to say before he started to faint again.

"Oh, no you don't!" yelled Kenma, catching him before he hit the ground. "Don't you dare pass out on us again! Besides, you finally have a girlfriend, and personally, that's something to be proud of!"

Due to Kenma catching him and violently shaking him, Ryoga was prevented from passing out. And that's when reality struck him.

"I'm engaged!" wailed Ryoga, his head in his hands. "I've never even had a girlfriend before! And now I have a fiancee?"

"Hey-hey-hey, man…it's all good, Ryoga," said Kenma in a soothing voice. "The former ladies' man himself is here. I will be your guide on your journey of engagement and hopefully marriage. No need to worry, cuz I'll be with you at every step and give advice to you until you don't need it."

With these words, Ryoga started to calm down. "Yeah, I'll be fine," he said. "After all, you'll be by my side, right, Kenma?"

"Of course," grinned Kenma. "We're best friends, man! We got each others' backs!"

While Kenma and Ryoga were having a moment together, Ranma looked at them, amused by this.

"Wow, what a touchin' moment," he commented, chuckling lightly. "I'm gettin' all choked up here. I guess Akane ain't the only one you got feelings for, am I right?"

Kenma and Ryoga both turned a deep shade of red as they shot dual glares at the pig-tailed boy.

"C'mon, Ranma. You know better than anybody that I'm attracted to girls. I mean, I WAS a playboy after all."

"And we may love each other, but as brothers. We may not be related, but that's the level of our bond," added Ryoga. "I mean, you just feel the same way, right? Why else would you waste your day to follow Kenma on his date? You must really care about him to do that."

"Fair enough. I'll concede that I love my brother and watch out for him. And I guess the same applies to you, Ryoga."

Just as Ranma finished talking, Akane and Shampoo walked in.

"Ah, I knew I heard some familiar voices coming from the dojo," said Akane, a smile on her face. Directly behind her was Shampoo, who, surprisingly, also had a smile on her face.

"That too-too sweet confession from pig-tailed boy," she sighed. "I wish I had sibling who care for me like him."

Now it was Ranma's turn to go bright red with embarrassment.

"Oh man, Ranma. Your face is red like a tomato!" exclaimed Ryoga. "Don't tell me… you're embarrassed?"

"I think he _is_. And it's kinda cute," commented Akane in a tongue-in-cheek manner. "Don't you agree?"

Ranma just kept his head turned to the ground.

"Oh, come on, guys!" shouted Kenma. "Lay off of Ranma! I think we should be praising him for being able to be honest about his feelings; to be honest, that's the most open he's been with them in years! We oughta respect him for having the courage to confess!"

Once Kenma was finished, silence consumed the four teenagers.

Ranma looked at his brother with gratitude while Ryoga, Akane, and Shampoo possessed guilty and regretful expressions.

"Well, when you put it that way… " started Ryoga, looking apologetically towards Ranma. "We're sorry for teasing you."

"It's just that you've never said anything like that before," added Akane. "And here I thought you were just an arrogant musclehead!"

All Shampoo did was nod and offer a small smile.

"It's alright, you guys. Even I would've teased myself for actin' outta character. So I can understand why you guys did what you did."

"Still, we feel sorta bad about what we did," said Akane while Ryoga and Shampoo were nodding. "Is there anyway we could make up for this teasing?"

"Hmm.. lemme think… " said Ranma. He began pondering on what to ask from them. _What should they do for me?_

A few moments passed and Ranma still had nothing.

"Arright, how about this," said Ranma after a few minutes. "Why don't cha let me think about it and I'll tell ya what I want tomorrow. Deal?"

"Yeah, that works," Akane replied.

"Great!" exclaimed Kenma. "I'm glad we solved that problem. Now then, what'll we do until dinner?"

"Well, I have an idea," offered Ranma. "For Ryoga and Shampoo. Now, don't get me wrong; this is just my opinion for you two. Why don't the two of ya sit down and just talk to each other? Ya know, get to know each other better?"

Shampoo looked at Ranma with hopeful eyes while Ryoga, on the hand, had an expression of absolute horror gracing his face.

"That too-too good idea, pig tailed boy!" squealed Shampoo. "I get to know hubby better!"

"I agree! This will be good for you, Ryoga," added Kenma. "The better you know each other, the better your relationship will be."

"B-but… I-I don't know what to do!" exclaimed Ryoga. "I already told you I've never had a girlfriend before! Hell, I've never been able to talk to a girl with stammering or stuttering!"

"Shh, Ryoga. Did you already forget what I told you?" asked Kenma in a soothing voice. "I'll be there to help and advise you. Don't worry."

"Yeah. You're right. I've got nothing to worry about with you by my side!" exclaimed Ryoga, calmer than before.

"Actually, you'll have to do this on your own," interjected Ranma, apologetically. "Sorry!"

"Why?" questioned Kenma and Ryoga in unison.

"Cuz me and Kenma gotta help Kasumi in the kitchen," replied Ranma calmly. "Ya know, as thanks for givin' us the aspirin and as an apology for disturbing her reading."

What Ranma said was a nice thought and all, but his expression didn't match his tone.

It was as if he wanted to catch the attention of Kenma somehow…

Kenma noticed this and was curious as to what Ranma wanted to do with him. So he decided to play along.

"Yeah, you're right, Ranma. That's a very good point," agreed Kenma. "We should help out Kasumi in the kitchen. And Shampoo, don't keep Ryoga out too late!"

"W-wait! Don't leave me, Kenma!" cried out Ryoga as Kenma was running out of the dojo; the bandana-wearing boy was now sweating bullets as the purple-haired girl clung to his arm.

"This too-too much fun!" Shampoo giggled. "Now Shampoo got Airen all to self!~"

Ryoga's face was red as a tomato as he blushed like crazy, tugging at his own collar.

"Well, I guess I better head out and leave you two alone," announced Akane as she made her way towards the dojo doors. "I wouldn't want to interfere with anything you lovebirds have to say."

With that, Ryoga's last line of defense left the room, leaving him all alone with Shampoo. The bandana-headed boy whimpered internally as he watched Akane leave.

"What future hubby want do now?" asked Shampoo. "Maybe hubby want walk? Or maybe…. He want to be in me?"

Ryoga chuckled nervously. "You're funny, Shampoo." he said, sweat pouring from his head.

"I say funny thing?" asked Shampoo.

"Umm… How about we just talk, you know?" suggested Ryoga in a shaky voice. "Like Kenma suggested. Why don't we go to the front porch and just sit and talk?"

"That sound good," replied Shampoo, still clinging onto Ryoga's arm. "Hubby lead way."

Ryoga sighed in relief as he and Shampoo walked out to the front porch.

"_Maybe my luck is starting to change, despite everything that happened," _thought the boy hopefully.

With a little more composure and confidence, Ryoga began walking towards the front porch…. Or, at least, he attempted to. Therein lies that little problem of Ryoga's terrible sense of direction.

"Um, where was the front porch again?" he asked, having ended up in the backyard.

* * *

Ranma led Kenma to their room.

"So, uh, Ranma," said Kenma, walking in after his brother. "Did you wanna talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, I did. Something important, actually," answered Ranma.

"And I'm guessing you never had any intentions to help out Kasumi in the kitchen?"

"You guessed right," admitted Ranma. "I know it seems kinda rough, but the way I see it, kitchen work is only for girls!"

Kenma stood there and looked at his brother with a shocked expression before shaking his head.

"And here I thought you had changed," said Kenma, glaring. "The way I see it, you're 50% girl, so doesn't that mean kitchen work is for you, too?"

"Okay, sorry for making that comment. I couldn't help it. But there is something I need to talk to you about, on behalf of Tofu."

Kenma was surprised. Of all people, he didn't expect Ranma to talk to him about Dr. Tofu! Just what was going on?

"Tofu? Do you mean Dr. Tofu?"

"Who else has the last name 'Tofu?'" retorted Ranma.

"But… what does he want me to do for him? I mean, I'm not a medical genius or anything!"

"Relax, Kenma. It's nothing about you being a medical genius," said Ranma in a reassuring voice. "It's actually about his love life."

Upon hearing those two words, Kenma's initial surprise was replaced with interest and any questions that lingered in his mind had now vanished.

"Do go on," he urged.

"Uh, well, the gist of the situation is that Tofu is madly in love with Kasumi, prob'ly cuz of her kindness and what not. But Tofu can't talk to her cuz he gets all nervous and anxious and starts acting weird. Remember when ya got injured when we first came to Nerima and Tofu came to bandage you up? And he began wrapping them a little too tightly when Kasumi entered the room?"

Kenma thought for a moment, thinking back to when he got his injuries.

"I think I remember it," responded Kenma after a while. "Although I have vague memories about that day. But the memory of my pain will never truly fade…"

"Yeah, anyways, Tofu acts sorta like that. Doing weird things like wrapping bandages too tight or dancing with that skeleton of his. Stuff like that."

"That is weird, isn't it? And it definitely would make it hard to advance in a relationship with these problems."

"I know right? And that is why you need to help him. After all, he asked for your help."

Kenma's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Well, I suggested Tofu to take your help and expertise in the romance department and Tofu wants ya to be his wingman so he can overcome all his weird habits and finally confess to Kasumi."

"Hm...I guess I could lend him a hand." Kenma replied.

"Great! I'll tell him sometime soon when I deliver some of Kasumi's cooking to him. Maybe you could tag along."

"Sounds good," replied Kenma, a grin on his face. "Man, I'm the wingman for two different people. Am I lucky or what?"

"I just knew you were gonna say something like that," Ranma said, chuckling a little while shaking his head.

Just then, they heard Kasumi from downstairs. "Lunch is ready, everyone!" she called.

"Well, shall we, Kenma?" asked Ranma.

"We shall!" replied Kenma, opening the bedroom door and walking out into the hallway, Ranma closely behind him. With that, the two made their way downstairs.

They both walked into the dining room to see everyone seated at the dining room as Kasumi distributed the food. Well, all of them, sans Nabiki. She had left the house some time ago to do her "job."

"Say, where is Nabiki?" asked Kasumi as she finished distributing the food.

"I dunno," Akane replied with a shrug.

"Uh, yeah, about Nabiki," spoke up Kenma. "She went out to…do something. I'm not sure what she went out to do, she just said she's going out."

"Hmm… what could that girl be up to this late in the day?" pondered Kasumi out loud. "Well, the reason doesn't really matter. As long as she is back before dark, it'll be fine. I better save her a plate, though."

"So…what are we having for dinner tonight?" asked Ranma as he took a seat next to his brother.

"I decided to keep the menu simple but also tasty by making Chicken Katsu on top of rice and drizzled with tonkatsu. Hope you enjoy it!"

The chicken katsu immediately caused Ranma's thought to drift to his conversation with Dr. Tofu the previous night. And Ranma couldn't help but laugh at the events from the previous night.

Everyone in the dining room looked at Ranma in a weird way.

"Are you alright, Ranma?" asked Kasumi.

"Yeah, I'm fine," replied Ranma after containing his laughter. "Just think back to my chat with Doc Tofu last night."

"Oh, that's right! You went to deliver that Kodachi girl to Dr. Tofu's clinic, didn't you?"

"That's right," confirmed Ranma. "I had a conversation with Tofu when I went to his clinic. The conversation was pretty serious at the time, but now it just seems silly. That's why I was laughing."

"I see," said Kasumi after saving a plate for Nabiki.

"What was your conversation about?" asked Akane.

"It's a secret," answered Ranma, a smirk on his face. "Need-to-know basis and all that jazz."

"Boy, you're turning more into a girl with every passing day," said Genma, amidst bites of food. "A real man wouldn't hesitate to tell anyone a secret he had, despite how embarrassing it is."

"Oh yeah? I bet you have a ton of secrets on how you stole food and money from innocent people, Pops," countered Ranma. "You care to share those secrets?"

Genma mumbled something under his breath, possibly something about Ranma's curse.

"What was that? Could you speak a bit louder?" Ranma asked, cupping his ear.

"It's nothing," responded Genma, suddenly much more interested in his food.

"That's what I thought," said Ranma triumphantly. "And for the record, I'd say you're turning more into a panda lately, seeing how much food you eat on a daily basis."

Genma couldn't take it anymore.

"That's it, boy!" he growled, standing up. "I'm going to teach you some discip-"

A hand tugged at his sleeve before he could finish. Irritated, Genma looked down to see Soun holding onto his shirt and shaking his head.

"Let it go, my friend," he said. "Swallow your pride and accept defeat. There is no need to fight over such a trivial matter."

After a few moments of looking at his friend and Ranma, Genma let out a sigh.

"Fine, I admit that I was wrong to call you a girl," mumbled Genma. "Happy now?"

Ranma smirked. "Sure, I suppose."

"Anyways," Kenma said after things had settled down. "How was your talk with Shampoo, Ryoga?"

Ryoga choked on his food. He didn't expect to be questioned about his conversation! He hadn't anticipated the possibility that Kenma would ask him about Shampoo (which he should've expected, because it's Kenma).

"Oh, I'm interested as well," added Akane. "Do tell us about your conversation, Ryoga."

Ryoga started sweating like crazy as the attention of everyone turned to him. "Umm… well…"

"Hubby too-too silly," giggled Shampoo. "He try go to front porch, but end up in backyard. Then he walk past porch and go into bedroom."

Ryoga started chuckling nervously. "Uh, Shampoo? Maybe you wanna stop now? _Please…?_" he asked, sheepish.

"Then I say 'Hubby want be inside me already? But we not married yet! Aiyaa~'!" continued Shampoo.

Ryoga's face had gone beet red. He was so embarrassed that he couldn't say anything to save himself. Right now, he just wanted to curl into a ball and rot.

Everyone but Ryoga and Shampoo looked at each other in a confused way, as if to ask "did that really just happen?"

"Ryoga, you sly dog! I knew you'd be fine without me!" exclaimed Kenma in a cheerful voice. "You said that you were gonna talk to Shampoo but instead you went the whole 9 yards, an' got her into bed! Even I'd get cold feet about doin' that!"

"I don't think that's something to be proud about… " commented Ranma.

"Just how many bases did you skip?" asked Akane.

"W-wait! W-we didn't go that far!" Ryoga finally managed to say, waving his hands frantically. "Shampoo was just joking, that's all! I got both of us lost when I tried to navigate through the house and Shampoo kept on teasing me!"

"Aw, hubby, you no fun," pouted Shampoo, sticking out her tongue.

Kenma and the rest looked at each other again, this time wondering whether they should or shouldn't believe what Ryoga has said.

"Well, Ryoga, if yer sense of direction is negatively affecting ya, then we'll need to work on it," said Ranma as the others nodded their heads in agreement. "We wouldn't want a formidable rival such as yourself to get lost again. Plus, you need to spend time with your lady."

"Ranma does have a point," added Kenma. "So starting next week, we'll be testing your sense of direction. Other than that, if you need relationship advice, well, you know who to talk to."

"Wait, why next week?" asked Ryoga.

"Next week's the last week in July," answered Akane. "Our summer break technically begins next Friday since we have a half day, and ends on August 31st."

"...I see." Ryoga nodded.

"You don't mind hanging out here for the next week or so, do you?" asked Kenma.

"Yeah, I'm fine with waiting," responded Ryoga. "But I really want to go on another trip soon."

"For training? Or for fun?" questioned Ranma.

"Can't it be both?" countered Ryoga.

"Fair enough."

"Oh, I like this trip idea," said Akane. "Where did you think of going for this trip?"

"Hmm… let's see… "

"How about beach?" suggested Shampoo. "It in season now."

"I was thinking more along the lines of going to the mountains because I'm pretty sure that the beaches will be super crowded around this time," said Ryoga. "But you're right. The beach is in season. So maybe we should go there."

Shampoo giggled to herself at this.

"Do you think I could come along?" asked Kasumi.

"Sure, why not?" answered Ryoga. "The more, the merrier."

"Though you should wait before bringing Dr. Tofu; he might end up accidentally hurting someone when he goes to get you a drink or something," added Ranma.

"Alright, it's settled then!" exclaimed Kenma. "We'll all go on a beach trip!"

Everyone at the dinner table let out cheers of excitement and began discussing plans and preparations for the trip to the beach.

It was definitely shaping up to be one fun summer.

* * *

The next morning, Ranma and the others were all having breakfast, albeit with a few new guests joining them at the table.

"You know, there's something about today's breakfast that seems different," said Soun.

"Oh, that's because Shampoo decided to help me with making it this morning." Kasumi replied. "Turns out she's pretty great with cooking. Who knew?"

The purple-haired girl smiled at Kasumi as the others continued eating.

Just then, there was a knock on the door, which made everyone turn in the direction of the sound.

"My, who could be at the door?" wondered Kasumi out loud.

"I'll go get it," announced Nabiki as she stood up and walked towards the door.

Going to the door, Nabiki saw that it was Kodachi, looking unusually remorseful.

"And to what do we owe this visit…?" asked Nabiki, tilting her head to the side.

"Is Akane Tendo home?" replied Kodachi. "If I may, I'd like to speak with her and Kenma."

"I'll check, but I wouldn't get my hopes up," Nabiki replied casually as she peeked to the side. "Hey, Akane! Kenma! Kodachi wants a word with ya!"

"...okay..." Kenma replied, after a few moments of hesitation.

And so, a few minutes after, Kenma and Akane came to the front door, although Kenma kept his distance from Kodachi, should she try anything.

"It's not like you to show up without some sort of sneakiness involved, Kodachi," said Akane. "What's the big idea?"

Kodachi lifted her head to normal level. "I came so early because first, I wish to apologize for my off-putting behavior. I didn't realize I was making so many people uncomfortable by doing what I did. And I apologize for making Kenma feel uncomfortable." she said.

Akane and Kenma were _both _dumbstruck by what they had just heard. Kodachi was actually apologizing for something she'd done?! Was it strange? Undoubtedly so...and yet, it was happening.

"Which brings me to my second reason for coming here," Kodachi spoke up. "...I forfeit the rhythmic gymnastics competition. I concede to you, Akane."

"What? Why?" asked Akane, baffled.

"To be honest, I've been in the rhythmic gymnastics game for a long time," Kodachi replied. "And to be frank, it's not really doing me much favors. Which is why I renounce it. Now if you'll excuse me."

She then turned around, and walked away down the walkway and onto the street. Both Kenma and Akane were surprised by this sudden revelation, unable to believe what they had just heard.

Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose, was actually giving up on something! Just a few days ago, that would have sounded completely absurd! And now, here it was, happening before their very eyes.

Truly, this was an unusual world they lived in.

"...well, I dunno about you," said Kenma. "But I think I'll get back to my drawing. I've gained my inspiration, and now I know what to draw. I'll show you later, alright?"

Akane nodded in response, a smile appearing on her face.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE, IN THE JOKETSUZOKU VILLAGE, LATER THAT DAY…**_

"What's that you say?" asked a diminutive old woman who was on the telephone. She had long white hair, a green tunic with long sleeves, and a small red headband. "You found a man for yourself?"

"_It true, great-grandmother!_" Shampoo's voice exclaimed over the line. "_Shampoo find boyfriend at last! No can wait for you to come and meet him yourself!_"

The old woman, Cologne, allowed a small smile to cross her lips. "Well, I'm sure I'll find this 'Ryoga' boy to be, at least, a more tolerable suitor than that obnoxious Mousse…" she replied.

Nearby, in the distance, there crouched a boy with a long-sleeved white shirt, shoulder-length black hair, and a pair of glasses with big, thick lenses.

_What does that doddering old mummy even mean? _he thought to himself. _All my life, I've wanted to prove that I love dear Shampoo...and she falls head-over-heels for some outsider? No! I refuse to stand for it! I'm going to go to Japan, get Shampoo back, and deal with this Ryoga myself!_

As he got up, he hit his head under a nearby plank of wood, and walked off, not noticing that he'd gotten a paint bucket stuck on his left foot.

Nearby, two small girls watched the scene for themselves, eavesdropping on the whole conversation.

"So big sister Shampoo finally find true love?" asked the magenta-haired one, Ling-Ling.

"That what it sound like!" the green-haired girl, Lung-Lung, chirruped. "We go pay big sister and happy hubby little visit!"

The both of them giggled to themselves.

* * *

_**AND FINALLY, ELSEWHERE…**_

Atop a rocky crevasse, the wind swirled and howled beneath the clouded skies. Suddenly, a massive lightning bolt struck a pine tree, sending it down the hillside. As the pine slid down, it tore free some odd-looking decorations attached to a massive boulder on a ledge attached to the hillside. A second later, the boulder split down the middle, before it exploded into chunks. As the dust settled, something small with beady, glowing red eyes made its way out from where the rock had once sat.

And once it had made its way out, it gave off a sinister, distorted chuckle. Whatever plans it had in mind, one thing is certain-they were anything _but _good…

* * *

**Ranma and Kenma Saotome will ****return**

**in**

**The Life & Times of Kenma Saotome**

**Book 2:**

"**The Secrets of the Four Kings"**

**And now..**

**EPILOGUE OF BOOK 1**

* * *

As the curtain fell, a female with green hair, a tiger-print bra and panties, and a tiny pair of conical horns floated out onto the stage.

"Hi, hi!" she waved. "Lum here, from **_Urusei Yatsura_**, or **_Those Obnoxious Aliens_**! Was that an ominous ending or what? I wonder how Ranma and his friends will handle these new situations?"

Just then, there came a shout from behind the curtain. As Lum turned to take a look, Ranko stormed angrily out from behind, dripping with water. Following behind her was Ataru Moroboshi, holding a formerly-full bucket.

"I toldja to bug off, you perv!" Ranko snapped at Ataru.

"Hey, don't be like that, baby!" Ataru grinned. "Sides, you look much cuter that way~! Can I get your email? Your digits? Your blood type, your astrological sign? Has anyone ever told you that you rock the wet hair look?"

Lum gritted her teeth angrily. "...excuse me, folks," she told the readers. "I have to go teach my boyfriend why it's a bad idea to hit on girls who aren't interested..._ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!_"

She flew off to the right half of the stage, her body sparking with angry electrical energy.

On the left side of the stage, next to Kenma, stood a schoolgirl his age with brown eyes and black hair, as well as a young man with amber eyes, white hair that went down to his back, and a pair of pointed ears.

"Is he like this _all _the time?" asked Kenma to the girl, Kagome.

Kagome shook her head. "Nope...usually, he's worse." she replied. "Anyways, nice to meet you, Kenma."

Kenma nodded. "Likewise."

InuYasha just snorted under his breath. "Yeah, whatever...just don't go gettin' in my way. Especially since the rest of us are supposed to cameo next season." he remarked.

Kenma nodded. "Well, looks like this is it for Book Number 1. So, until next time…"

The group all got together on stage, even Ataru, whose face was now beaten and battered, and his body was smoking from being electrocuted, for one last line.

"**THANKS FOR READING, AND SEE YOU AROUND!**"

Kenma winked and grinned. "_**Teyandee**_!" he exclaimed, his teeth gleaming for a brief moment.

Ranma blinked. "'Tey-an-dee'?" he asked his brother. "...why does that sound so familiar?"

* * *

**OPENING/CLOSING THEME:**

**"Don't Make Me Wild Like You!" (Kitty Record)**

**Japanese version sung by Etsuko Nishio**

**English version sung by Myriam Sirois**

**Composed by Kunio Muramatsu**

**Arranged by Kazuo Shiina**

**Original lyrics by Yukinojo Mori**

**Translated lyrics by Trish LeDoux!**

* * *

_Yappa-paa, yappa-paa; don't know what to do_

_My heart is not a game-it's mah-jongg to you._

_Yappa paa, yappa paa-feel like a shrew_

_Who needs boys? Don't you dare -_

_Make me wild like you!_

_Before you, boys got on their knees_

_Ranma, Ranma-it's me you always tease._

_Since the day I ran into you_

_Ranma, Ranma you -_

_Stole my heart and you -_

_Don't you dare go and -_

_Make me wild like you!_

_Somebody tell me, why it's so hard_

_To say those three words, "I love you"?_

**(****KENMA**:** Pretty easy for me, actually!)**

_If I let myself give in to you_

_I'll become just as -_

_Wild as you!_

_Before you come in like a breeze_

_Won't you stop and ring the bell, please?_

_Before you make my heart a home_

_Why not let me love you on my own?_

_I'd be better off without you -_

_But just tonight it's alright..._

_Until tomorrow, all right._

_Every time your eyes turn to me,_

_Ranma, Ranma you -_

_Make me feel dizzy._

_Someday we may be more than "friends"_

_Ranma, Ranma you've -_

_Gone and done it true -_

_Can't you see that you've -_

_Made me wild like you!_

* * *

_**In our next season, the Saotome Brothers and their friends are more than ready for some fun in the summertime sun! Too bad it won't come easy, especially when pint-size powerhouse Old Man Happosai comes a-callin'. And you thought Master Roshi was a lech! Can the Saotome boys beat him? But wait...who's Ukyo, and what's his beef with Ranma?**_

_**Next time**_

_**on**_

** Ranma ½: The Life & Times of Kenma Saotome**

**Season 2: The Secrets of the 4 Kings:**

_**"The Super-Tough Old Pervert! His Name is...Master Happosai?!"**_  
**Japanese title: ****超タフな老人変態****！****彼の名前は****...****マスター八方彩****！？**  
**Pronounced: "**_**Chō**__**-**__**tafuna **__**R**__**ōjin **__**H**__**entai! Kare no namae wa... Masutā **__**H**__**appō**__**s**__**a**__**i**__**!?"**_

_**KENMA: "We hope you'll be there to read it! TEYANDEE!~"**_

_**RANMA: "OK, I seriously know I've heard that word before…"**_

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys! DaniFuli here! Looks like the first season of **The** **Life & Times of Kenma Saotome **is over! Man, was that a hell of a ride or what? I know it was pretty shaky at the beginning and it took **Sonic Thunder Saiyan Turtle **and I quite some time to build our chemistry and write this story. But all in all, we were able to finish this part of the story and I'm proud of it. Probably because it is the first story I've ever written with someone else. Also because it did a lot better than the stories that I've posted on my account (it's the sad truth). So yeah. We finished the first season and are proud of it, etc. Now, don't think we're gonna just up and abandon this story, because I assure you, we won't. We will return for a second season sometime in the near future so look forward to it. Other than that, there are one or two more things I have to say.

First off, big thanks to all our readers and followers who have made it this far in our story. We appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read our story, even though it's pretty average by most standards. I would also like to thank the reviewers. Some were good, some were bad, but they all had something to say about our story and sometimes pointed out things we may or may have not noticed. We tried to rectify all errors mentioned in the reviews, but we may have not been able to fix all the issues, so you'll have to forgive us on that note. But still, thanks for all the reviews; it means you care! I hope each and every one of you decides to stick with us until the very end, and enjoy reading this as much as we enjoy writing it!

Well, I guess that's the end of that. I hope all of you are having a great day when you're reading this and I wish you all the best! I hope all of you enjoyed reading this chapter and can't wait for the next season! I know I can't wait to start writing it! Again, thanks for reading the first season of **The** **Life & Times of Kenma Saotome** and hopefully we meet again! Cheers!


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